Thursday, March 24, 2011

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Teacher's Pet


Episode 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: shownotes of a big fat geek.

This is the one that's a badly veiled metaphor for teachers as sexual predators. This teach is a praying mantis and is the first, of many, demon-like creatures attracted to Xander. I had a teacher I liked once. He's still cute, but fortunately, he was not a predator, because I was dumb enough that I would have probably madeout with him and then been pissed at him later for taking advantage. It's not cool to make out with a 16 year old if you're a teacher; even if you're a really young hot teacher, ok? Don't do it!

Buffy in red satin. You'll never see that again! Wait, this is a dream sequence. Oh, man, seriously, who is doing the costume design here? They've got Buffy in a baby blue sleeveless sweater...oh, and it has a collar. And fucking pearl buttons! WTF?! I'm not even going to look up the costume designer because I don't want to hate her/him. Maybe they were having a bad year. I imagine the budget was terrible at this point and they didn't realize, apparently, that Buffy is a fashion icon, not a soccer mom. Yeesh! How come all I can talk about is fashion on these shownotes? Wow, I guess I do think about physical image a lot. I never really noticed. I suppose I did just spend 96$ this very night on glitter makeup online. Ok, I'm vain. I knew that. But glitter is priceless, man! And it was cruelty-free and neon, too!

First ep to get Angel (mostly) topless.

OMG, Giles is wearing a sweater vest, tweed, gingham, AND a tie. Sexy librarian!

Mmmm, a mayonnaise sandwich with crickets!

Ooh, remember babydoll shirts? I used to have one with a big lemon on it.

I usually like organic girl-predators, but the pedophile aspect here is throwing me. And insects just aren't as awesome as Poison Ivy. And at least she had a global goal!

This is the first ep where Buffy takes charge and tells everyone what to do instead of Giles. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I like Buffy with a little more meat. Her ass is poppin' in yellow pants! If only my ass stayed lush at such thinness levels...Sarah Michelle Gellar's genetic gifts are plentiful, that's for sure.

How come in TV shows and movies, everyone assumes you're NOT a virgin, until proven otherwise when you're in high school? Wouldn't it be the other way around? At 15, I didn't know a whole lot of nonvirgins...guess I wasn't enough of a delinquent.

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