Friday, April 4, 2014

YouTube for dummies.

I'm learning to upload videos, splice videos, cut clips, add clips, change audio tracks and use crates as makeshift tripods for my iPhone.

It's all very frustrating and rudimentary and strange.

I've done four videos so far and uploaded all but one of them to my channel. They are ASMR videos. Here, Laci can explain it to you:

I'm a little embarrassed about them because they seem so self-indulgent. Most of them are me showing off things I own and talking in a soft and soothing voice. One commenter described my voice as "is good but is sounds slutty". But it's a thing. Like, people DO this. I'm doing this. So this is my coming out blog post, I guess. Most people aren't going to get it. I plan to make about ten of these and then if I have at least 25 subscribers and feel like I'm improving and getting something out of making them, I will continue.

So, if you want to see what I'm on about, go to here. And maybe don't talk to me about it in person if you don't get it...not yet. I'm too delicate. I'm at a stage where everything is really bad quality.

"You see, our band's moving toward this new sound where....we suck, so...practice." -Oz from Buffy

My computer HATES my new video editing habit. It says it's too full of audio files to hold any video files and it ESPECIALLY doesn't want to alter or play those video files. It demands more memory and more space. This is officially the moment where I start to think I might need a new computer. But I've only had this one 4 years. It's got juice left in it. I can beef it up a bit.

Seriously, like, do you KNOW how ridiculously long video editing takes? I'm not even doing anything serious. I'm taking several videos and splicing them together, maybe trimming a few seconds off the end, changing an audio track. That's ALL I'm trying to do. Nothing fancy. Nothing "Hollywood".

This is how long it takes:
*video preparations: 15 minutes
*recording video: 30 minutes
*re-recording audio for video because the wind SUCKS: 30 minutes
*transferring video from phone to computer: 5 minutes
*opening and editing video in quicktime: 15 minutes
*saving edited video to computer: 2 hours!
*opening video in imovie because I need to do MORE editing that quicktime can't do: 30 minutes
*editing in imovie: I don't even know because I haven't finished the last step yet!
*saving after editing in imovie: dunno yet.
*uploading finished video to YouTube: 4-6 HOURS.

Total time uploading one crappy little 20-minute video of me showing you the contents of my purse: 9-12 hours. OMG. Really?! Reallly?!?

I've never been very good at doing things that are hard or require skill. But I'm willing to learn the basics of most things I want to do. I can knit a scarf. I can hand-sew holes in the armpits of my sweaters. I can record a video with my iPhone and upload it to YouTube. After tonight's foray into the deep waters of video-editing, I may know how to add a different audio track to a video I recorded.

I'm whiny and I just drank a glass of wine from a bottle that's been open at LEAST three weeks.