Monday, March 3, 2014

watching others fall apart...

I was just writing an article for The Current Etc (I'd link to their site, but it's HORRIBLY outdated, like did they put it up in the '90s?!) about comfort culture. I'll post the article later, once the issue has been out for a week or two.

As I was writing, I realized the kind of culture that calms me -- be it music, television, movies, whatever -- is the culture of addled minds and frayed souls. To see others crumble makes me feel like I can handle life after all.

I watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" Saturday night. So many aspects of the the relationship between Clementine and Joel moved me, but particularly it's their flaws that make me like them. The open way they start over at the end with their flaws pushed forward makes me so happy.

And then there's this moment where Clementine shatters the "manic pixie dream girl" trope in two sentences.
I don't want to see characters with their shit together. I don't even want to see characters GET their shit together most of the time. I want to see people with pieces of themselves scattered all about them, people broken and bruised that are choosing to live that way, choosing to wear their bruises on the outside. I breathe ragged, but I breathe nonetheless. That's the hardest part for me in my daily life. I want to hide when I feel unhinged. I used to think I had to pull myself together before I could face the world, but the truth is that pulling it together and facing the world sometimes have to happen simultaneously and maybe, just maybe, people can handle you frayed. Perhaps when you wear your imperfections on the outside, others with similar madness will be inspired by you, or they'll see themselves in you.

In other news, Katniss Everdeen is my new #2, after Buffy of course. She is amazing. Flaws are cool.