Empire Records (1995)

Most of what I love about this movie is the snarky existential teenager dialogue and the atmosphere of working in a record store.  I always wondered if it could really be like this, but after experiencing Slackers, this amazing record store in Columbia a few weeks ago, I think it might be possible to work in a quirky record store with all the grit and the life of music like in the movies.  This is a fantasy of mine.  To work in an Empire Records or High Fidelity-like store.  Perhaps someday, I will.  This movie is so quotable.

Slackers in Columbia, MO.

"Who knows where thoughts come from: they just appear."

"Damn the man!"

"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."

"What's with today, today?"

"Well, Sinead O'Rebellion.  Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior."

"This music is the glue of the world.  It holds it all together.  Without this, life would be meaningless."

"Let's not fight...let's just RIP."


I love scenes in movies where women defiantly cut their hair/shave their heads while glaring at themselves in the mirror.  I've always wanted to do it, but I don't have the guts...yet.  Robin Tunney looks hot bald too.

This movie is just like a giant box of dark chocolate Raisinets with a cherry Pepsi on a day when you totally deserve it.  It makes me happy.  I want to know all of these characters, except Corry.  She's whiny and timid.  I love that everyone just calls that kid Warren Beatty without comment.  The music in this movie really tries to be diverse and interesting...everyone in the individual listening booths rawking out to their own respective records.

AJ was exactly my type when I first saw this movie.  I still like his long hair and grungy clothes and artist's soul, but he's not that heartbreaking.  I love that Corry just takes her bra off at the table at the pizza place.

Lesson in girl-bonding-in-the-bathroom scenes: Do NOT ask the girl that's not usually comforting to you, "Why are you being so nice to me?"  Every time my little sister asked me that when we were young, it ruined it, just like it does here.

That was a pretty good kiss, actually.  And it ends in dancing.  I'm a little too enthusiastic about this movie...

Character average: 6.875
Replayability: 9
Atmosphere: 10
Music: 8
Dialogue: 7

TOTAL: 40.875

Clueless (1995)

(Oh, and I also already scored "The Crow".  I decided to disqualify it because it was pretty much just the first act that I enjoyed.  I like to put this movie on when I'm "gothing up" to go out on a spooky night.  I still get really jazzed up watching the first 20 minutes, but the rest is just a lot of darkness and shooting.)

Clueless makes me happy.  Cute '90s outfits, snappy dialogue, based on an Austen novel, has Paul Rudd (one of my top five heartthrob screen-boys ever alongside Seth Green, Justin Timberlake, Michael Cera, and John Cusack pre-2003)...what could be wrong with this movie?  Well, I predict that nothing is wrong with this movie, but let's check it and see, shall we?

Touchscreen monitor in 1995?!?  Three songs within the first two minutes.  Remember how funny it was when you first saw this movie that Cher and Dionne were talking on their cell phones in the hallway?  Like anyone would ever DO that?!  As IF!

"The maudlin music of the University station?"  I used to do that dance that Cher and Ty did at the party all the time with, like, everybody.  Ugh, I hate Christian.  "You think just because Sammy Davis, Jr. died, there's an opening in the Rat Pack?"  Alicia Silverstone is so good at whining.  My first driving test was kind of like Cher's.  I failed to yield and nearly plowed into a semi in front of the DMV and then afterwards asked how many points that almost-tragic wreck took off and the woman said, "Oh, you failed." and I had to drive us immediately back into the parking lot.  Yikes.  I passed the test the very next day, however.  I was a slow-starter in the driving category.  I really had to LEARN to see stop signs.  ;)

Final Tally:

Character average: 6.67
Music: 5
Atmosphere: 9
Dialogue: 7
Replayability: 8

TOTAL: 35.67