Friday, February 26, 2010

Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground) // The Jacksons

Ok, so I'm ridiculous. Instead of doing homework or dishes, I spent the last 2(ish) hours searching for the PERFECT typewriter. And I found it! Not only is it vintage, but:

*it works.
*I watched a video of the model in action on youtube and it looks fabulous! The perfect marriage of old and lessold technology.
*it's aqua/teal/bluish.
*it's an easy model to find ink cartridges for because they still work after 30ish years!!
*it used to belong to a woman who got it as a graduation gift from her mom!
*it comes with TWO new ink cartridges.
*it comes with a case.

Here's a picture of her! Perhaps I finally have something I can name Forsythia:

The only problem is that I kinda just spent money I really could have spent on something more useful. Oops.

Satisfaction // Daft Punk

gawd I love Daft Punk. Today I really have nothing to say. I went to class. I've had some sugar. I've NOT done any homework, nor have I done the dishes. I'm looking at typewriters online and trying to resist the beautiful vintage ones knowing they'd be hard to get ribbons for and expensive to acquire and more difficult to use...I got my hair cut. Heather at Oasis is a hair artiste in case you were wondering. She straightened my hair because I forgot to tell her not to.

Satisfaction // Otis Redding

Here's some vanity pics. I usually do some self-portraits after a haircut:

Save Me From What I Want // St. Vincent

I just don't feel like being productive today. I'm experiencing some sort of apathy. Like I think I could get sucked into the internet for about three hours until Michael gets home, then just sit around all night playing wii with him and not even feel bad about the lack of productivity to my day. Even though I really "should" be working on spanish homework as I have 40 exercises and 2 tests due Sunday. Which means I'll pretty much be stuck inside doing this said homework all day tomorrow if I do nothing towards that end today.

Save Us From // The Hoof and the Heel

Which, who are we kidding here? I won't.

Save Your Day // Jose Gonzalez

I could shop online for typewriters and wedding dresses and then finish an Indian movie I started yesterday and read some more of my book.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Rape Me // Nirvana

Reading "The Paradox of Choice" (yes APA I capitalized "paradox" and "choice" because that's how you're supposed to do it, goddamnit!!)

Re-Make/Re-Model // Roxy Music

this week. It's about how we, as Americans especially, are becoming primarily consumers and the more choices me have, the more confused and stressed out we are becoming. I agree with the overall concept of the book (and author cites a lot of research and stuff too, as he's a psychologist, which I like) and have been thinking about it a lot. In my last blog entry I was alluding a bit to my obsession with choices. I demand their presence in every aspect of my self-expression. For example, I lovelovelove my engagement ring. It was a hand-me-down from Michael's wonderful stepmother. It's white gold with rubies and a purple sapphire (see pictures earlier in this blog). But it didn't come with the purple sapphire. It came with an unidentified white stone. So, basically it looked like a diamond, which is not a stone I could get into, though I did try.

Re-Thread // Protech

I measured the stone precisely. I went online and spent several hours a couple of different evenings until I found the "perfect" stone and I bought it. And I had it set into the ring. Because I had a personal investment in making this ring that I will wear every day, presumably most days for the rest of my life, I feel very proud of it. I stare lovingly at it every day. Does it make me a bitch that I didn't find it perfect from the very first moment I received it? I don't think so. I love the style. I love the rubies. I love that it came from a family member of Michael's and wasn't just bought somewhere. But if I hadn't somehow made it mine, I wouldn't feel so strongly about it. Yeah, it's just a ring. But it's a symbol. I love me some symbols. But this is a very American consumer choice. It was daunting picking out the sapphire because I first had to choose what color of stone I wanted. Then I researched all the New-Agey meanings of stones to narrow down a particular stone within the color. Then I had to find a website (I am primarily an online shopper) that passed all my legitimacy tests (which I had no idea what I was doing, so this took awhile). Then I had to pick out stones that were the correct size and color. Then I compared images with intense scrutiny for hours to narrow it down. A LOT of cognition was involved in this process! But it came to me and its one of the most beautiful

Reading in Bed // Metric

stones I have ever seen in my life! Which is nice, because I stare at it every day. And the point of all this blathering is that I do this with nearly everything. I'm, without a doubt, very materialistic, but I take care of my things and respect them because I put so much thought into acquiring them. Nearly every possession I own is something I value. It's almost as if I integrate my possessions into my identity once I acquire them. This is sort of f-ed up when you think about it. But this is the result, partially at least, of advertising and

Reasons to be Beautiful // Hole

consumer culture and all that. As obsessed as I am with choice, this process exhausts me tremendously. And I love making limitations to lessen these choices. Now that I've found a gem website when looking for one for my engagement ring, I will always go there anytime I need a gem again. My next gem-selecting process will be extremely simple. Brand loyalty. I will always purchase an ipod instead of some other mp3 player anytime I need a new one. Simple. I don't shop at Wal-Mart, for what I feel are ethical

Rebel Prince // Rufus Wainwright

reasons (they're overshadowing local businesses, they treat their employees unfairly, etc), but also, I've realized it's more than that. Wal-Mart is a big places with a million choices everywhere. Just thinking about going into that daunting warehouse makes me mentally deflated. The overwhelming numbers of choices within every aspect of our purchasing lives is, as Barry Schwartz calls it in the book, "tyrannical". So by eliminating Wal-Mart, I've eliminated a giant warehouse of choices. I feel liberated knowing I have taken this option away from myself. The grocery store down the street from me isn't local, but it's small and it's been there all my life. It's familiar. It's got the majority of what I need.

Recado Bossa Nova // Laurindo Almeida

This must be why brand loyalty exists. We can't go through this insane cognitive structure every single time we make a decision, choose among the masses of choices everywhere every single time. When we find something we love, we can relax. That's my brand of shoe! That's MY kind of computer!

Red Blooded Woman // Kylie Minogue

It's an adaptive human process. To account for all tastes, we have to have variety bordering on the RIDICULOUSLY excessive, but if we can't narrow it down, we wouldn't have the energy to leave our houses!! But I have to spend this initial time. The majority of things I possess I will keep until they fall apart/no longer operate. Because I spent the time agonizing over each decision, I feel I am largely free from excess and unwanted objects. For example, the sweatshirt I am now wearing, I've had for OMG, about 6 or 7 years! My corduroy orange pants, which anyone who knows me has seen

Red Rain // White Stripes

me wear a million times, I've had since 2001! They're almost a part of me. I still wear them at least once a week. I mean, that's a DECISION with lasting effects! Choice is a big deal. We are choosing every single second of every day. What we do, what we wear, where we go or don't go, everything. It's overwhelming and exciting and philosophical and importantimportantimportant. Be cognizant of your choices, boys and girls. And be happy when you can eliminate options among the multitudes.

Monday, February 22, 2010

zen moments.

Ooh La La // Goldfrapp

Just finished watching a documentary called "Following Sean" about a man who grew up in the Haight/Ashbury district of San Francisco in the mid-to-late '60s. A good documentary is like a good meditation. It puts you in the moment of the subject. Like a home video from your own life, you're drawn into whatever moment was filmed, no matter how mundane. After watching, I feel zen. Makes me want to break out the video camera. Makes me observe the moment I'm in right now. A rare Monday off from work. I'll be starting my period in a few days

Oops!...I Did It Again // Britney Spears

so my breasts are sore and I'm wiped out. After the film, I attempt to take a nap. I felt guilty for skipping out on two arguably "better" things I could be doing with my time at this moment (taxes-had plans with my mom to do so at 530pm and working out-at school with my intended). But now, I'm thinking, "Why should I feel guilty?" My life, really, couldn't be better. I have everything I could ever want, and the means of acquiring any new desire. I've never had a full-time job in my life

Open Book // Cake

but I work part-time, I have a wonderful fiance, I go to school full-time and get pretty reasonable grades, I have good friends and a great relationship with my immediate (being grandparents, mom, and sister in my case) family. I live in a three-bedroom house and have 5 wonderful animals (two ferrets, two dogs, and a cat) that I lovelovelove. We have a gigantic backyard which we will get married in later this year. I'm majoring in a subject (psychology) that has many possibilities. I've had my job at the library for more than 5 years and I love my coworkers and, though I alternate my thoughts about the general public I deal with at the library, I generally like being a part of my community

Operator // Real McCoy

in this way. I see EVERYONE at the library. The general culture in America tries to make you feel bad about living in your hometown and near your family, but I live next door to the house I grew up in, and I love it. I have everything (basic needs, ipod, wii, computer, great stereo, furniture, clothes, money saved for wedding and future road trips) that I have worked for and will continue to do so throughout my life cycle. I can take care of myself. I love my friends. Right now I'm sitting in a room I've decorated myself that includes a bookshelf full of wonderful books, '70s wallpaper, an awesome orange la-z-boy I'll probably have until the day I die, and every element I've put my personality into. Every element of everything I've ever done

Opus 23 // Vivaldi?

reeks of individuality/personality. This denotes a certain amount of OVERcontrolling my environment (and obsessive-compulsiveness to be sure) but I like it. I know what I want out of life and I reassess my values/needs/wants all the time. I am happy. I have resources. My body is sprinkled in these aspects of self-expression as well (nose piercing, multiple ear piercings, tattoos, funky clothing, etc). One wonders, and now I'm wondering too

Orion // Metallica

why I am writing about these things. Who cares, right? The point is capturing this moment. No matter how stressed I get over silliness, I will always be drenched in my own creations. I made myself. Like that Incubus song whose lyrics resonated with me so thoroughly as a teenager: "If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow..If I hadn't assembled myself, Id've fallen apart by now." So here I am. A fully-formed adult, though constantly changing. Some might say my tattoos and piercings will prevent me from future jobs. Some might say I've wasted my intelligence staying in Joplin. Some might say my insistence on expressing myself through every single aspect of my life is childish. But one of the things I've learned about being an adult is that you don't have to get angry at "the man". You don't even have to care what others think. Life is whatever you want it to be. I've never been the type to apologize for how I feel and this is an aspect of who I am that has served me endlessly in my life. I have nothing to complain about. I am completely accountable for the direction my life is taking and its okay that the direction isn't always

Out of the Blue // Roxy Music

purposeful. My friend Jonathan says that figuring out what you want to do with your life is overrated. What do you want to do NOW?

Friday, February 12, 2010

In My Room // Josh Mullen

I'm listening to all of my songs on my 8GB ipod (DiscoStick is her name) in alphabetical order (started 2 or 3 weeks ago) and the song in the title of this blog is where I am...I'm going to attempt to write more in my blog. For now, the titles will be whatever song I'm on in the seemingly-eternal rotation of DiscoStick songs.

In the Cold Cold Night // The White Stripes

And then, I'll interrupt my blog ramblings with whatever song just came up, as above. You see, the reason I want to write more in my blog is that I want to become a better writer. I want to start a zine in the next few months which I think I will call "Chickweed" because Jill just started her own zine and called it "Whorehounde" and since I am a founding member of the concept of whorehounde (check my website:, I wanted to also have an herb. And also her doing a zine

In the Waiting Line // Zero7

prompted me to realize I can do one too. To start my zine I feel I need a long-arm stapler and a typewriter at the very least. There's something magically romantic about doing a zine with a real old-school typewriter. I have access to one in which the spacebar doesn't work, but really, can I be picky? Free typewriter! The spacebar is kind of an important feature, though. I used to want to be a writer, back in high school. I'm not terrible at it. When I really put my brain into a school paper or a letter to someone or whatever, I can at least seem intelligent and interesting. I like to do freewriting-style stuff the best. I don't like to think about what I'm writing until its bursting forth from my hand. Will anyone care about my blog/my zine/my ramblings? Probably not. A few will. I have 6 followers of this blog. I'm good at promoting myself, such as I will probably post on Facebook when I've finished this blog so people will see it, if they choose.

In Your Room // Depeche Mode

I've been in the "I's" on DiscoStick for like a week at this point. There have been a TON of The Magnetic Fields in the "I's". Ok, so if I'm doing a zine, I probably need some contributors to flesh it out. There's only so many "top 5" lists I can post before it gets pretty boring. So, if you're reading this blog, chances are, you're cool. And you have rawkin' ideas in your head. Send me ( some of these ideas or write up something to include in my zine. Or even send me pictures that you've taken. Or pictures you've seen on the internet you like/hate and write a critique of them. Or send me lyrics of the most moving song you're into right now. I'm definitely going to be documenting mixes in my zine. Taking pictures of old mixtapes I still have along with their inserts. If you want to document any mixes (tape, cd, mp3, whatever) you've done/received, do it! I'll put them in my zine! I'm putting off reading like 200ish pages of my Clinical Psychology textbook right now. I'm always productive when I'm putting off homework. I'll make a mix, write a letter, clean the house (which reminds me, I need to clean the bathroom).

Infinitely Late at Night // The Magnetic Fields

See? I also need to make wedding invitations. Oh, and we can't decide between some customized fingerprint (they'd have OUR fingerprints on the outside of the rings) wedding bands or some celtic band ones. Here, I'll find pictures:

The Information // Beck

So, which one do YOU vote for? Post your answers here, on Facebook, or in an email! Also, I have to

Innocente // Delerium

decide what I'm going to WEAR at our wedding. My main idea so far is to purchase a lehengha choli (an Indian-sari-and-skirt-fancy-outfit-combo) in our wedding colors (which are burnt orange and plum, btw) and then get a corset custom-made to go with it. A fancy corset, not like a lingerie-type corset. Here's an example of the coolest style of corset I've found so far (keep in mind it would be our colors, not these colors):

Inside // Moby

here's an example of a lehengha choli, which I'm sure you've seen, you may have not known the NAME, though, as I didn't until recently:

Also, note the hotness of the chick. I would, of course, NOT have my stomach showing, as my idea currently includes a corset, but I would have the rest of the outfit, again with orange and plum. A lot of our wedding will have elements of Indian culture. The rehearsal dinner will be at an Indian restaurant, I'm having a henna-painting party (which is a Hindi tradition to have the girls get together the night before to paint one another with henna designs), and you can be SURE the bellydancing scarves are coming out during the reception!

Instinct Blues // White Stripes

Although, I could theoretically beef up my abs a bit between now and September 25th and just do the whole outfit, sans corset. I'll probably have the bindi and the hairpieces and everything anyway...hmmm. Ok, another survey for my dear readers...along with which wedding band you think we should have, do you think I should wear lehengha choli WITH corset? or as is? That would certainly cost less as a custom corset runs about $250 and lehengha cholis can be REALLY

Into Dust // Mazzy Star (my FAVORITE Mazzy Star song, btw)

expensive when they want to be. For example, the one pictured in this blog is $900. I will most likely be willing to spend maybe $200, and less if I get a corset too. Another zine idea, if anyone is interested in contributing: freewrite while listening to a favorite album. I used to do this in high school. I had a whole notebook dedicated to writing what music made me feel/think about. It's really relaxing and fun. In addition to emailed material I would absolutely accept handwritten stuff, as long as its readable, I can copy it as is and slap it in the old zine!

Into the Light // Siouxsie & the Banshees