Buffy's "Restless" Revisited.

As described in my last blog entry, I am on a quest to find my top ten TV shows of all time. I have a chart and there's math involved. It's all very organized and methodical. I chose to watch my favorite episode of each of the top 12 contenders, assessing both the episode and the show as a whole on several different criteria.

There's no contest for the top spot on my list of television. Buffy the Vampire Slayer has crawled into my lizard brain, coating the bean of my being (what?) with a light glaze of Summers' blood. I couldn't escape the power of Buffy even if I wanted to, and I'll never want to escape the Slayer's superpowered grip on my psyche. There's a black hole in my personal history that occurred during the last couple of years of high school followed by the couple of years after that. I was in a dark place with a terrible man at my side. In 2001 I was reunited with Buffy Summers when the show appeared on UPN late at night after it wasn't available to me for all of seasons 4 and 5. Mercifully, I got to watch seasons 6 and 7 as they aired. If you're not familiar with Buffy's arc, season 6 was the season that each character was their own "Big Bad". Their angst was so pervasive that they destroyed themselves episode after episode. It was heartbreaking. I cried every week, copious tears of recognition and solace. I saw my boyfriend in Spike, the character that mentally manipulated/verbally abused Buffy. Spike attempted to rape Buffy that season. I started using the name in my online blogs in place of my boyfriend's real name. I wouldn't leave my Spike until 2003, about five years too late. Were it not for Buffy I would have sunk, maybe irretrievably, deeper into that hole.

Am I attributing too much to a TV show? Perhaps, but I say all this to express that my relationship with Buffy is emotional. She is an icon that's imperfect, badass, and relatable. The character was only two years older than me. Her struggles were my struggles, though mine dealt far less in metaphor, unfortunately.

I'll reveal the scores I gave each episode and show at the end of my assessments, but I wanted to speak to my feelings while viewing each piece of entertainment.

Buffy's "Restless" is the last episode of season 4. In atypical season-ending fashion, the "Big Bad" of the season had already been defeated. This is an episode of dreams. We get to see into the psyches of Xander, Giles, Buffy and Willow and it is fantastic. Joss Whedon is the only writer that has ever successfully filmed dreams, in my opinion. In this episode alone, he gets the odd flow of the dreamworld exactly right. Things are said that make sense only in dream-speak. Words are spoken in languages not understood by the dreamer for a character that often doesn't understand in real life (Xander). Metaphors are employed in the ridiculous way of dreams. It is an episode filmed as if underwater, as restorative as a nap.



The score of this episode is minimal, meditative, and sensory. There's a sequence wherein Buffy reaches into a medicine bag full of clay, then rubs it into her face and walks slowly through the desert. The music and picture above are from that scene. It's breathtaking. I don't think I've ever watched this episode out of sequence. It was a fantastic experience. It was a breath. In one episode, the psyche of each character was revealed, mostly through images. Almost every one of my favorite characters (Tara, Oz, Anya, Harmony, etc) makes an appearance here. Tara is sort of the spiritual guide of the dreams, speaking in low-ASMR tones saying things like:

which is equal parts foreboding, as to the later-revealed nature of the Slayer, and simply gorgeous dream-flavored existentialism revelatory of Buffy's view on herself. This statement is so wholly indicative of identity's fluidity over the span of one's life, too. Go ahead, try to grasp what you are. You can't, though we'll spend our lifetimes trying.

In the best episodes of Buffy, most symbolism employed within works on several levels and can be applied upon many different situations. The best art leaves itself open for the viewer to impose one's own interpretation upon it, without the burden of authorship intent impeding, trampling your experience. Buffy is seldom ever heavy-handed in its approach to symbolism. Even inside the dreams of specific characters you've known for four years, one doesn't feel oppression from already knowing their history conflicting with your projections of their dreamworld. In other words, it's easy to tell what their dreams mean to them while simultaneously pulling what YOU need from their dreams into yourself.

Without question, this is my favorite episode of television ever, which makes it hard to quantify it with worrrrrrds. Words pale in comparison to the feeeeeeels. I feel existential calm when watching "Restless". I feel warmth and peace. I am in awe and completely engaged every moment. Most television and movies I enjoy have those parts that you dread or want to fast-forward through. Not "Restless". Nothing in this episode is wasted. Every image, everything going on in the background, every sound, every word uttered is carefully placed and multidimensional in meaning.

Plus, it's a really funny and quotable episode.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Restless.

episode 78.
airdate: 23 May 2000.

In the month of April I will be FINISHING this Buffy project. I'm doing April's Camp NaNoWriMo and that's my goal. So there's my public announcement so that I will stick to it, damnit! Ok, here we go with the last episode of season 4 so that I can watch/blog seasons 5, 6, AND 7 in the next 30 days. Woo!

Riley is going away for the episode and they're all at Joyce's house. They're all cuddling in to watch videos and they fall asleep before the FBI warning is over.

We enter Willow's dreams. Tara is there and Willow is painting a spell on her back. Tara is telling her she doesn't know everything about her and that "they'll find out" about Willow. Willow looks out the window at a desert, then suddenly she's in school and Oz and Xander are there. They might be in the high school. Harmony is suddenly there and Willow is about to star in a play. Joss really makes it feel like a dream. Nothing makes sense and the transition between settings is exactly how it is in dreams (like walking into a completely different world like walking into another room or just appearing elsewhere with no transition whatsoever). The threads that hold everyone's dreams together are an elusive yet pursuing tribal chick and a weird dude that's obsessed with cheese. Suddenly Willow is in the outfit she was wearing in episode one after Buffy rips off her "costume" (the way she dresses now). The pursuing tribal chick catches up to her and suffocates her.

Now Xander's dream shows him watching "Apocalypse Now" with everyone. Joyce attempts to seduce him. Xander's dream reminds me the most of my dreams because when he opens the door of Joyce's bathroom he ends up in his basement and then he's in a playground with Giles and Spike swinging on a set. Anya finds she can steer by "gesturing emphatically" in the ice cream truck. I think about that all the time. Xander keeps ending up back in the basement. Then he ends up in the school and Giles tries to tell him how to solve the situation, but everyone starts talking in French...bad dubbed French. Then he's in "Apocalypse Now". Principal Snyder is there. Even in their dreams though, they're all connected and they're figuring out how to fight it as the "creature" pursues them in each of their dreams. Perhaps this is because they're still connected via the conjoining spell they used to defeat Adam. In the end of Xander's dream his dad is yelling at him from upstairs. "That's not the way out." The tribal chick rips out his heart.

Now we're in Giles' dream. Olivia is with he and Buffy in a carnival and Buffy is acting like a 5-yr old. Spike is posing for a photo shoot in his crypt. Olivia is pregnant and crying. Everyone is doing research in the Bronze. The dreams are sequential, so Willow and Xander are still dying: "sucking chest wound here". Everyone is looking to Giles for help, so he sings about it. So cute. He does figure it out, too, mostly. "I know who you are and I can defeat you..." She still scalps him as he says, "you never had a Watcher." So we know she was a Slayer.

And she's killing them in the ways they were contributing to the conjoining spell. Willow was Spirit, so that's why she's being suffocated. Xander is Heart, and now he doesn't have one. And Giles is brain, but she cut it out. She's taking away the things they brought to the union.

Now for Buffy's dream. She's in her childhood bedroom with Tara staring at her unmade bed. "Didn't Faith and I just make this bed?" Tara says, "You think you know what's to come. What you are. You haven't even begun." after showing her the "Manus" tarot card. She is Hands and Feet in the spell. Suddenly the bed is made. Buffy knows she needs to find them. As she leaves the room Tara says, "Be back before Dawn." Joyce is living in the walls of the school. This reminds me of a dream I have had too. She sees Riley and he's talking about world domination ("filing things, giving things names") with Adam as a human. Buffy washes her face with clay. She also had clay on her face in Giles' dream. Riley keeps calling her a "killer". Buffy is in the desert and the Israeli music is really peaceful and pretty. Tara speaks for the primal Slayer. The First Slayer. She tells her she's supposed to be alone. I'm not sure if the First Slayer is trying to kill Buffy necessarily, or just her friends...oh, wait, now she's stabbing her. Buffy tells her she's ignoring her until she goes away, then they all wake up. How cool is that?

They all talk about what happened: "the spirit of the first Slayer tried to kill us all in our dreams". Joyce says, "Oh, you guys want hot chocolate?"

COMMENTARY: I'm going to watch the commentary now because that is a DAMN good episode.

Willow's dream: Turns out what Willow was writing on Tara's back was a love poem by Sappho. When Willow finds Tara in between the red curtains that's a vaginal reference. Totally should have gotten that!

Xander's dream: All roads lead to his basement because of the sense of failure/something dangerous there. Joss is talking about the images having resonance by themselves. That is the coolest part of this episode. There's so much space with the music and the long shots/images. Xander talking about being a conquistador/comfortador...Joss talks about this being because Xander needs comfort/love in a way that he never got growing up. He also talks about when everyone is speaking French this is because he feels stuck while everyone else is moving on with their lives. Whoa. That's cool. Didn't get that either. I'm so slow.

Giles' dream: Giles can't decide if he wants to have his own life or be a mentor. Does he want to be a rock star or a Watcher?

Buffy's dream: Tara is her spirit guide. Riley can't handle when Buffy becomes primal (when she puts the mud on her face). Buffy defies the notion of climax and defies the notion of the tragic tale of the Slayer. When you stop taking a dream seriously, you wake up.