Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chosen.

episode 144.
airdate: 20 May 2003.

Caleb isn't actually dead, turns out. Knocks Angel out. They fight. B slices Caleb in half. Angel has an amulet for someone ensouled, stronger than human, a champion. Angel thinks it should be him. B tells him he can't help because she can't risk him. She tells him to be the second front if Sunnydale "goes". Angel asks her about Spike, if he's her bf, etc. Buffy tells him Spike is in her heart. They have a little conversation about B's lovelife. B says with regard to relationships maybe it doesn't matter if she can't make it work because she's not done becoming who she's going to be. She's living in the moment. Angel wants to know when she DOES think that far ahead, who she might consider...Angel surrenders the amulet and starts to leave to work on the "second front". She gives him a little nugget of hope for their future and Angel says, "I'm not getting any older..."

When B gets back home Dawn kicks her in the shin and calls her a "dumbass". B tells the good news about killing Caleb. B goes down to the basement to talk to Spike and he confronts her about the kiss. Spike holds out his hand to take the amulet. She tells him "it's meant for a champion", then she gives it to him. Buffy stays with Spike in the basement. They cuddle again, night #2.

The First as Caleb taunts B in the middle of the night, then turns into her talking about the legacy of the Chosen One, alone. It gives her an epiphany. "We're gonna win."

We see she's shared her plan with the core group (Faith, Willow, Xander, Giles, Dawn, and Anya), but we don't know it. Willow is worried about losing control...big magic. B does a speech to everyone. Says it's about choices. B's planning to lead them into the Hellmouth the next morning.

Giles, Andrew, Xander, and Amanda are playing Dungeons & Dragons. Hot. Night # 3 and Buffy and Spike probably do it. They're at the school. Everyone goes to their jobs and it's just the core four: Buffy, Xander, Giles, and Willow joking about what they're going to do in the morning. Great moment.  Giles even says, "The Earth is definitely doomed."

The Potentials, Slayers and Spike open the seal and go in. Spike is wearing the amulet. They're looking at all the Ubervamps. Willow is using the scythe to do a spell. "I say we change the rule. I say my power will become OUR power." Essentially every Potential becomes a Slayer with Willow's spell. Willow's hair is white during the spell. Kennedy takes the scythe to Buffy. Epic battle-time.

Buffy gets stabbed, goes down, gives the scythe to Faith. Anya dies. Wood is hurt. Amanda dies. The First taunts Buffy as her.  She stands back up and Faith throws the scythe back to her. She's got seniority, so she gets to keep the weapon. Spike's amulet is tingling. It's so great watching all these girls kick ass. Spike becomes a beacon of sunlight killing all the Ubervamps. It's his soul. Everyone is running away now. We realize Spike is a sacrifice. She tells him she loves him. "No you don't, but thanks for sayin' it." She goes. The school is blowing up. Everyone is on a school bus getting away and B is the last one out. She still has the scythe. Buffy is running after them and ends up on the roof of the bus as Sunnydale falls into the Hellmouth. They stop to get out and survey the damage. Sunnydale is gone.

"What are we gonna do now, Buffy?" She's not the one and only Chosen anymore. What a super cool feminist statement. The show started with B being the Chosen ONE. She had to bear the burden of Slayerdom by herself until Kendra, then Faith. Now every Potential is a Slayer and that is soooo cool. Slayers everywhere.

*I am now officially done with my project, but I'd like to watch the commentary now, but because it's fun. My plan of attack (next project, which is really just a continuation of THIS project) is to go back and watch all the commentaries and add notes while I watch the commentaries. After this month of writing about Buffy I've written over 50,000 words and I feel like it's been a good writing camp. I feel like I'm progressing in my craft. A lot of people don't understand what I'm doing when I say I'm writing about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but to be fair, a lot of people don't understand what I'm doing EVER anyway. I think I'll go backwards with the commentaries. There are 36 of them, I think. I'll go back to the corresponding blog on the episode and add commentary comments at the end in a different color or something. Then I'm reading the comics up to date. Then maybe I'll write a book about Buffy, though I don't know what my thesis is yet...maybe I'll know when I get there. Whatever. All I know is that I'm doing two things I love simultaneously: writing and watching the best show ever made, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

**My commentary on the commentary by Joss Whedon:
Making Nathan Fillion evil must have been really hard, but they did it. Joss is talking about how the graveyard is the "perfect iconic place for Buffy". I never thought about it like that, but I think that's one of the reasons I love Buffy so very very much. Because I love graveyards. A LOT. Graveyards are a wonderful setting. This show is so literally dark and I think that's brave and interesting. A metaphorically dark show that's also literally dark. It also makes everyone look hot. Pretty much everyone on this show constantly looks hot and interesting. Angel's exit from this episode was meant to mirror his exit from the first episode he was in. Cool. I forgot he backed away like that. Cool. I'm SUCH a fangirl. To be officially done with a project I've been doing for YEARS and want to just jump back in to do some more is a really awesome feeling. I feel so engaged and happy. Yeay.

Ok, just to hearken back to a theme within my own life (I think I'll allow myself to get a bit more autobiographical during my commentary-commentaries. Is it the commentary within the commentary within the commentary? yikes.), and that theme is isolation. Both Faith and Buffy were shown as being very isolated, and duh, 'cause they're the only two Slayers in the whole world. But don't we all have this thing? The thing about us that makes us feel unlike anyone else in the whole world? Maybe not usually superpower-strength, but maybe a thing that no one else gets about us. The thing we carry like a burden, even when it isn't. The thing that makes some of us famous, some of us geniuses, etc. A feeling of other. The thing most of us don't realize is what they said in the Matrix: belief is not a prerequisite of understanding...is that right? We, none of us, really speak the same language, but we try to communicate in whatever ways we personally know how. That's art, that's poetry, that's self-expression. We are constantly attempting to interpret our brains to other human beings for that one moment of recognition in the eyes of a like-minded being. That ONE tiny minute of understanding and validation. We seek it with fervor. And it's worth all the pain and suffering we endure to get there. These tiny handful of moments in our lives. It's totally worth it. We're never as isolated as we feel, and yet we are always alone. Life's great oxymoron.

The shot wherein Buffy and Spike are standing apart looking at one another before they spend their third night together, Joss explained that he wanted the viewers to fill in the blanks about what they wanted to have happened during this night. I'll tell you what I want. I want them to have had extremely intense "making luuuuuuuv"-type sex, then fallen into an extremely deep sleep wherein B actually gets 8 whole goddamn hours of restful sleep before an Apocalypse.

The moment when all the girls have to bleed onto the seal to open it was meant as an earthly menstrual cycle thing. Cool. Didn't recognize that either. Also, the thought of even though you've worshipped this character of Buffy the last seven years, find it in yourself now that she's gone from TV. Joss addresses the fact that the Ubervamps were too easy to kill in this episode. He just says, "Yeah, they were." I mean, even Anya is killing them when B couldn't do it mid-season. Whatevs.

I didn't realize that when Andrew tells Xander Anya "died saving my life" he was making it up. He was saying what Xander needed to hear, when really he didn't see what happened.

We're seeing a life that's just beginning, like B's smile at the end of the series. Joss, you devil. I love you. I know you said you'd never make TV again after Dollhouse but you didn't mean it, right? Come back!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Potential.

episode 134.
airdate: 21 Jan 2003.

Spike is being used in a lesson. He pretends to attack the Potentials while B teaches them skills. There's some sexual tension between Buffy and Spike. I know this makes me a big girl, but some of my favorite scenes are the ones where Spike gives one of his "you're a helluva woman" speeches to Buffy.

Giles thinks the First is in remission for a bit. Buffy is doing another speech about it. Telling the Potentials they're special. Dawn is sitting on the stairs feeling left out because she's not one of the Potentials.

Willow just got news. A Potential is in Sunnydale according to someone in the coven. B is taking all the Potentials out for a group patrol. Willow is doing a spell to lead her to the Potential in Sunnydale. The light hits Dawn so they think she's a Potential. It's a big deal. Dawn has to process. She sneaks out.

B takes the Potentials to a demon bar. They run into Clem. Dawn runs into a friend from school. She got attacked by a vampire. She trapped it in a school-room and ran away. She was on her way to Buffy's to get her, because people talk. So Dawn and her friend (Amanda, I think) go back to the school. Dawn thinks she can fight it, since she's a Potential. The vamp is after them now that they've opened the door. They run. Dawn hits it with a fire extinguisher.

B is giving the Potentials a tour of a crypt. A vampire wakes up, recently turned. Buffy is telling them to know their environment and how to use it. As she's saying this Dawn is fighting pretty valiantly in the chem lab. Buffy and Spike lock the girls up in the crypt to kill the vamp on their own. As Dawn and Amanda are fighting the vampire a bunch of Harbingers show up and grab Amanda. This is Dawn's moment of realizing she's not the Potential, Amanda is. But the really cool thing is that even though she's not, she was the one fighting while Amanda was cowering in the corner. Dawn believed she was a Potential. Maybe there's not something totally special about the girls called. Dawn can fight because she believes she can. Because it's all about knowing your own strength, your environment, all that stuff Buffy said. So now, not only are Dawn and Amanda fighting the vampire, they're fighting the Harbingers. Dawn surrenders her weapon to Amanda who does some serious damage all of a sudden. Buffy shows up with Spike, Xander and Willow. Buffy is never told they thought Dawn was a Potential.

Xander gives Dawn an extremely moving speech about how they (Potentials, Buffy, Magical Willow, Werewolf Oz, all their friends with special powers) will never know how it feels to be ordinary, like he and she are. He tells her he saw how she handed the reigns to Amanda the second she realized Amanda was the Potential. He said, "You're not special, you're extraordinary." It was great. Really wonderful moment. I gotta wonder if Joss knew about them already.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Fool for Love.

episode 85.
airdate: 14 Nov 2000.

Buffy is fighting a regular vampire and he turns her stake around and stabs her with it. What? She gets all vulnerable and Riley saves her. He also has "combat medical training", so he fixes her up. She decides (of course) to keep it from her mom, not to worry her. Riley takes over patrol with Willow, Xander, and Anya. He's being all military-stealthy while everyone else is eating chips and making jokes. So funny. One of my favorite scenes ever.

Buffy is having an existential crisis because she was almost bested by a regular vampire. She is studying old Watcher diaries to try to figure out why Slayers get killed. Giles explains that as a Watcher who also keeps a diary about his Slayer, after the final battle, a Watcher might be too emotionally compromised to tell a complete story. That's why they think of Spike, a surviving vampire who has killed two Slayers. So Buffy decides to talk to Spike. Ask him how he killed the Slayers. So this is a Spike-flashback episode.

She offers him money to tell his stories. At the Bronze. Spike is left-handed. 1880: he's a poet and in love with a pretty lady in an Austen-like land of aristocracy. Someone steals his poem and reads it aloud so they can laugh at him. Cecily, his love interest, rebuffs him. Tells him "you're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me." Heart. Breaking. OMG. He is crying, tearing up the poem, when Drusilla appears. She "sees him". His "strength". "You walk in worlds the others can't even begin to imagine." I would totally fall for her in that moment. I get it. She turns him. It's hot.

The guys are still hunting when they find the vamp that staked B. He goes into a crypt and you can hear other dudes in there. Riley declares they can "kill 'em just as dead in the morning".

Back to the flashback: Angel, Dru, Darla, and Spike. Spike is more like Spike now. Angel is threatened. Spike is all unruly and Angel is joyless. I love Spike's nails. They're all black at the beds and gradiate into regular nails. Very sexy. If only more men realized that painted nails are freaking hawwwt. Spike kills a Slayer in the Boxer Rebellion in 1900. She's an accomplished sword-wielder. Hero shot as Spike struts off with flames behind him. "Best night of my life...and I've had some sweet ones."

Riley is breaking the rules! He went back by himself to kill the vampire-clan. With dynamite and a death wish. Buffy and Spike are sparring. He explains if there's no intent to hurt, he has no pain from the chip. Then he starts telling the story of 1977's Slayer he killed. He's all punk and fighting her on a subway. The fight he had with her is interspersed with the sparring with Buffy. He's telling B she's a little in love with the fear and uncertainty, the darkness. "Death is your art...every Slayer has a death wish...even you." He's taunting her. He tries to kiss her. She tells him he's "beneath" her and throws the money at him. He cries. Heart. Breaking. Has a new lust for the kill. Goes over to her house with a shotgun. He's been obsessed with killing Buffy since he met her. Another flashback to Dru. The reason she left him is because of his obsession with Buffy. The one he couldn't kill.

Joyce tells B that she has to go stay at the hospital overnight for tests. B goes to the back porch to cry when Spike shows up. His rage melts when he sees her crying and he simply goes and sits by her in companionable silence patting her on the back after asking her "what's wrong?" and "is there something I can do?" God, it is so fucking sweet. That is EXACTLY what you need in a time like that...someone to sit next to you, just BE with you. Spike is SUCH a lovesick puppy that he didn't even lose it all with the loss of his soul. I love his character arc so much and this is the season when he evolves the most. Another of my favorite scenes ever. This HAS to be on my top ten Buffy episodes of all time list. Fo Sho.

It's so smart that Joss is constantly drawing parallels between the vampires and Buffy. It's become a cliche that the Slayer falls for the vampire, but in this case (the premiere example, mind you) it makes total sense. She does love death. She loves the kill, the violence. She tortures herself with guilt, but to be as good as she is at her birthright, she HAS to be a bit in love with it. Riley knows it, to an extent. Spike knows it. And they are really foreshadowing her own death at the end of the season too. She doesn't have that death wish yet, but this is the season where she's trying to find herself. And the build to her sleeping with Spike is already starting. After her mom dies and everything goes to shit all around her and Spike proves himself to her over and over again that he cares about her, will even sacrifice himself for her (doesn't give up Dawn's identity in that ep where Glory tortures him almost to death), etc. It makes sense. There's a build-up. It's GOOD writing, man! So good.

And even the attempted-rape scene, as upsetting as that is...I think it's a valid commentary. To remind you that Spike does NOT have a soul...which is why he then seeks it out. Because he does care. Because he can't live with himself after what he tried to do. And you know his story, so you WANT to forgive him. And you do. And then you hate yourself for forgiving him, so you have to ask yourSELF what the fuck is going on that I'm forgiving an attempted rapist?! Putting yourself in his shoes and still knowing it is wrong and you'd never....It's NEVER excusable, but I get that in a relationship built upon abuse (from both sides, in this case) and darkness, there could be a confusing moment, a question of consent. She acts like she hates him the entire time she's fucking him, and really she hates herself the entire time she's fucking him. And for Spike's character, being soulless and recently losing Buffy, it makes sense that this happens, though she doesn't forgive him for a year and he never forgives himself. His love-sickness is more obsession than actual love and always has been. This is the moment he has to choose to change. A soulless creature can WANT to change.

Perhaps in this scene, Joss wants men to be put in Spike's place. If they've ever had that moment of almost overpowering a woman when they didn't realize what they were doing...the self-loathing that follows. The pain of seeing Buffy victimized, which you NEVER see in the show. Perhaps this scene is meant for men to see how this feels for a woman. How it is NEVER ok, even when the chick can kick your ass, even when you've had sex with her many times before. It makes the scene so much more intense when you know everything they've both been through to get to that moment. Everyone in season 6 reaches their darkest moments, and this is Spike's. I don't think he's trivializing rape here at ALL. People are more complex than their actions...and he didn't go through with it. And he will attempt to atone for it for the rest of his life.

There are consequences all over the place for every action in Buffy and this is why it's one of the best shows ever. Anyway, I'm getting YEARS (though for me, it will be only weeks) ahead of myself here. The arc of Spike/Buffy is very complex and interesting. His path is never clear-cut, but always nuanced and fascinating.

Commentary (by Doug Petrie) notes added 5.12.13: The point of having Buffy get stabbed by a typical vampire in a typical situation is to remind us how intrinsically dangerous Buffy's job really is. 

I think Spike's nature is really true throughout his existence. He tries in life to be good so badly with the same fervour he emloys becoming bad as a vampire. 

Doug talks about Spike's accent here. As a human, he had an aristocratic high-class accent and then as a vampire he employed (on purpose, presumably) more of a cockney working-class accent to differentiate himself from Angel. Never noticed Spike getting his eyebrow scar from the first Slayer he killed in China. Ha! I was right that Angel has a soul during the Boxer Rebellion. That he's trying to deal with what's happened to him and hasn't told his mates when Spike kills that first Slayer. This episode is essentially the story of Spike. It tells the story of the scar, the accent, and the coat. And no matter how far he's come, he's still William the Bloody when Buffy tells him he's beneath her and throw money at him like he's her whore.