Difficulties of the Mind.

I find I have so many. I find I self-sabotage what once was (and could be again) a creatively fantastic brain. I could blame it on adulthood. I never truly recovered from that moment when you suddenly realize the Barbie thing isn’t working the way it once did. I could blame it on an ex-boyfriend that destroyed my sketchbook of 5+ years, because in some ways I’ll never get over that 9-year-old injustice. That was an attack on my very being. I could blame it on art school degrading my sense of joy at making mistakes and happy little accidents and going with the flow. I could blame the tornado. That one’s pretty hard to argue...

But I’ve generally been one to take personal responsibility and I hardly ever place blame. Placing blame is lame. I'm learning not to fault myself, but I will take ownership of my creative output, which is sometimes so close to zero that the thought cripples me into further flatlines.

The only creative endeavors I’ve accomplished in the last month or so include making a few YouTube videos, putting on makeup and nail polish a couple of times, and hot gluing some flowers and ivy to three headbands.

In times of creative drought, I tend to fantasize about going back to basics. I feel like buying a Hello Kitty coloring book and coloring my feelings before I work back up to endeavors that might appear more adult-like. Maybe I'll do a paint-by-numbers. Perhaps I'll scribble in a few of my books with permanent markers.

LIVE THROUGH THIS: OUT EDITION.

LIVE THROUGH THIS. THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS, LGBT EDITION: I want to do a mental health-themed zine. One of the things that shouldn't be something we have to cope/deal/come to terms with, is being gay, lesbian, transgendered, asexual and bisexual, but in our still close-minded society, we unfortunately, do. I would love to have some stories/insight/thoughts from close friends/family that are out.

Any input in any form (drawings, maps, rants, poetry, ANYTHING from any perspective/place in the process) would be greatly appreciated. I will use your content for my zine, but you can be anonymous or use an alias should you feel more comfortable disclosing under invisibility cloak. Below are some questions. You can choose to answer these questions directly to use as an interview in the zine (only answer those you're comfortable answering, of course, and feel free to reword/add questions as ye see fit), or just use them as a jumping-off point for anything you want to say. 

I want to have this zine out on the Summer Solstice so your deadline to submit content is JUNE 13 and submissions can be sent via email: mixtressrae@yahoo.com

Please consider sharing your experience with others even if all you do is spend ten minutes replying to this blog with a random thought or two. 

Thank you SO much in advance,

Stephanie

QUESTIONS/THOUGHTS:

When did you know you were gay/lesbian/transgendered/bisexual/asexual?

What was the process of accepting yourself like? 

How did you overcome the hurdles our society throws at people that are "different"?

When did you "come out"?

Who did you tell first?

Was it a big revealing, did you come out slowly, or have you chosen to make it a non-issue and just not bring up your sexuality to others?

How did your family/close friends react?

What do you wish the general population would realize about the LGBT community?

What advice would you have for someone who wants to come out/recently came out?

LIVE THROUGH THIS.

LIVE THROUGH THIS. THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS: I want to do a mental health-themed zine. Talk about how people with diagnoses, depression, coping/sensory issues, Post Traumatic Stress (a LOT of us in Joplin are still dealing with this), etc deal in life. I would love to have some stories/insight/thoughts from close friends/family that I know have found/are in the process of finding ways to live in this world.

Any input in any form (drawings, maps, rants, poetry, ANYTHING from any perspective/place in the process) would be greatly appreciated. I will use your content for my zine, but you can be anonymous or use an alias should you feel more comfortable disclosing under invisibility cloak. Below are some questions (most of them center around the word "diagnosis", which I am using as a stand-in for any issues of depression, coping, PTSD, etc). You can choose to answer these questions directly for me to use as an interview in the zine (only answer those you're comfortable answering, of course, and feel free to reword/add questions as ye see fit), or just use them as a jumping-off point for anything you want to say.

I want to have this zine out on the Summer Solstice so your deadline to submit content is JUNE 13 and submissions can be sent via email: mixtressrae@yahoo.com

Please consider sharing your experience with others even if all you do is spend ten minutes replying to this blog with a random thought or two.

Thank you SO much in advance,

Stephanie

QUESTIONS/THOUGHTS:

Do you have a diagnosis (self or formal)? What is this diagnosis?

Do you find strength in your diagnosis? Do you disregard your diagnosis?

How have you come to define your diagnosis?

How have you learned to work around discomfort surrounding symptoms of your diagnosis?

How does it feel on your worst days?

How does it feel on your best days?

How have your loved ones responded to your diagnosis?

What do you wish the general public understood about you/people under similar circumstances?

What advice have you for others under similar circumstances?