Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Weight of the World.

episode 99.
airdate: 15 May 2001.

Glory is feeling more human lately, not happy, though she has everything she wants and the time has come. Dawn is tied and gagged. Buffy is still catatonic. Spike slaps her and shakes her. Willow tries to talk to her. Xander and Spike start fighting.

Willow separates them with magic and starts laying out the plan. Anya will look after Tara, Spike goes to find where Glory is, Xander gets Giles to the hospital, and Willow will try to get into Buffy's mind to bring her back out. Spike asks Willow what he should do if he runs into Ben. Remember they all saw him change into Glory. Willow says Buffy doesn't need a doctor right now. So we then realize that Spike is the only one that remembers that Ben is Glory. Even when he tells them they all seem confused and keep forgetting again and again. Spike realizes Glory has a "mojo" so that humans forget if they see the transformation...apparently even if they talk about the transformation. Spike tries to beat it into everyone for like five minutes.

Glory is comforting to Dawn. Offers her pizza. Dawn tells her not to call her "Dawny" and Glory's feelings are hurt. She's feeling guilt. She's feeling things. Turns out Dawn's blood is the "key to the Key". She has to be bled dry to open the portal. Willow, Tara, Anya, and Buffy are at Xander's. Anya will look after Tara while Willow takes B to Xander and Anya's bedroom to try spells to enter her mind and coax her back out of her catatonic state. When Willow gets in she's in Buffy's childhood home the day Dawn is brought home from the hospital after being born.

Spike gets to Glory's apartment, but she's no longer there. Ben has a little simple room hidden away behind all Glory's pretty things.

Buffy's mom and dad are still together. They bring Dawn home and she holds her baby sister. "I could be the one to look after her sometimes." Then suddenly we're watching Buffy shelve books at the magic shop, then at the campfire of Buffy's spirit quest. She's in a loop. Giles is already being released from the hospital. Spike has no leads on where Glory is but he's going to consult someone he knows "demon, bookish, ties to the magical world". Glory is starting to remember things from Ben's life, is changing frequently from Glory to Ben. This is apparently her price for dealing with the serious magics involved in opening the portal.

Willow hears the First Slayer telling Buffy "death is your gift" from the ritual. Glory starts asking Dawn how you deal as a human. As a slave to hormones and feelings. She genuinely wants to know. "Who's not crazy? Everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up...at least I admit the world makes me nuts. Name one person who can take it here." Dawn answers "Buffy". Buffy is leading Willow to her mom's room. Her grave is in there. Then she goes to Dawn's room and she's crying on her bed. Buffy suffocates her. This is her current interpretation of "death is my gift". Glory changes to Ben: "Has Glory hurt you?" He's also remembering all the things Glory has done...they're merging. The magic that keeps the two of them separated is breaking down. Ben fights one of the minions and says "I'll take you as far as I can, then ditch you when she comes back." They're back at the beginning of Buffy's mind loop.

Xander and Spike go visit the demon-creepy dude from "Forever". He refuses to help them, but Spike realizes he's standing in front of "the very thing we need". He throws a fancy box into his fireplace, Xander stabs him, and Spike gets the box back. Dawn hits Ben over the head to try to get away, but then he's Glory again. Ben and Glory start arguing, turning back and forth rapidly. Dawn tries to sneak away as they're arguing, but Glory doesn't let her. Glory says she can make Ben immortal if he cooperates. He apparently decides to side with Glory.

Willow asks Buffy what happened in the part of the loop where Buffy is shelving a book in the magic shop. She says she "quit just for a second". It was this moment that she realized she can't beat Glory and she wanted it to happen. She wanted it to be over. She decides this is the moment she "killed Dawn" because some part of her wanted it. Willow decides to stop humoring Buffy: "Snap out of it! All of this has a name...it's called guilt and it's important, but it's not more than that...you've carried the weight of the world on your shoulders since high school...and you wanted out for one second. So what?" Buffy keeps asserting that she killed Dawn and Willow reminds her this hasn't happened and she can still prevent it if she comes back. Willow says she's going where Buffy is needed. "You coming?" She does. She cries. I cry. Willow comforts her.

They're all at the magic shop. Giles says once the ritual starts it cannot be stopped. Only the end of the bloodletting will close the portal once it has opened. "Buffy, the only way is to kill Dawn." says Giles.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Spiral.

episode 98.
airdate: 8 May 2001.

Buffy takes Dawn and runs while Willow tries to do a spell on Glory, but it barely slows her down. Glory gets hit by a semi-truck, then turns into Ben. Dawn is describing everything to everyone over at Xander's. Buffy says she doesn't know how they got away. She's feeling helpless. Everyone is making jokes and Buffy is not having it. Says "we can't fight her". She suggests they run. She's never suggested they run. Ever. This is big.

Ben really is so pretty. Fighting with a female minion this time. Ben is suggesting he get to the Key first and kill her so that he can be normal, so he can reclaim his body for his own. I get it. I would too. I'm not all honorable like all the Buffy-heros. A huge Winnebago arrives to pick everyone up with Spike behind the wheel, with sunglasses and foiled windows. It's ridiculous to think a vampire can drive in daylight, but the imagery is fun. The knights of Byzantium are back on the case after being absent for like five episodes. They have the one Glory de-brained and discover they can use him to lead them to the Key. So everyone is after Dawn. Xander is nauseous. I love it when characters are shut into small spaces and have to deal with each other. The de-brained are getting simultaneously crazier, including Tara. Buffy is shut up in the back of the RV by herself, utterly hopeless. She feels impotent. Dawn tries to comfort her. Buffy is shutting down, which is totally understandable. Dawn says "things can't get any crazier" and then they, of course, do. The knights are in pursuit, on horses. One of them is on the roof and Buffy fights him. Dawn is dressing Spike's wounds he got from grabbing a sword that penetrated the roof. Anya knocks a guy out of the window with a frying pan. Buffy is fighting two of them on the roof now. It's all very dramatic. Just when you think they're in the clear, Giles gets speared (he was driving) and the Winnie rolls and they're on foot. They make it to an abandoned building and hide within. Giles is badly hurt.

Now there's flaming arrows and more knights. They're coming in from all sides and Spike is fighting them too even though they're human, so it's very difficult for them. It really does seem hopeless. Willow does a spell to create a barrier. They have the general hostage. The knights have priests that are working on breaking through Willow's barrier. Buffy questions the general. If I were Buffy, I might consider surrendering Dawn. But Buffy has changed since she sacrificed Angel. She's not doing that again. Tara is freaking out, saying it's "time!" All the other crazies in the hospital are also declaring that it's "time". They all break out of their constraints and leave en masse. Buffy is apologizing to Giles. He doesn't look like he's going to make it. Tells her he's proud of her and she's everything a Watcher could ever hope for.

Buffy goes out to talk to the knights. Asks if they will let a medic come to help Giles. Xander says "in war there are rules" and they can bargain with the general. Buffy calls Ben. He comes. He does care for Giles. Xander is warming to Spike. The general tells Buffy she doesn't know what she's dealing with and then describes it all wordy-like: "great battle, beast, banishment, etc" Tells her Glory is trapped within the body of a man. No one knows the identity of the man. Dawn asks the general why she was created, what she does as the Key and the general tells her she will be used to open the barrier between dimensions so that Glory can go home to the dimension she was banished from. Buffy laughs because "Glory's master plan? to go home?" But the general describes that while the barrier is lifted between dimensions all kinds of beasts will crossover and hey, Apocalypse!

Buffy comforts Dawn. The general tries to sway Ben. Tells him he can stop everything, save everyone's lives if he just sacrifices one life. Ben starts to change and demands to be let out. Not in time, he changes to Glory. Glory kills the general real quick and starts beating everyone else up. She takes off with Dawn. Willow breaks the barrier and Buffy tries to go after Dawn but they're gone and all the knights are dead. Buffy sits down and goes into catatonia...credits.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Tough Love.

episode 97.
airdate: 1 May 2001.

Buffy goes to tell a professor she has to drop his class, all her classes, actually. He understands.

Ben is in trouble at work, he's fired actually, because he doesn't show up very often, hasn't in two weeks in fact. Glory is taking over for longer periods of time, I guess...getting stronger.

Glory is taking a bath while blindfolded minions serve her Mimosas and chocolates and describe everything they saw when they spied on Buffy and her friends/family. Buffy is at a meeting with Dawn's principal. Apparently she hasn't been going to school. Buffy is asking Giles what to do, suggests Giles be the disciplinarian for Dawn. Giles says she needs to step up and deal, be the grown-up. Buffy is being all super-serious now.

Glory thinks she knows who the Key is now. She's going to "collect" her now. Tara and Willow have an argument, their first...about magic. Tara says she's "frightened" by how proficient Willow is getting with magic. Willow is overly sensitive, because she really can't be trusted entirely with the magic stuff. Willow storms out. Buffy and Dawn are fighting too. Buffy reveals to Dawn that Social Services will take her away if it doesn't work out with Buffy being "legal guardian". Buffy is terrible at folding towels. It really may not work out (I'm kidding of course--folding towels is really not important, so much...how, anyway. It is important that you do it.).

Glory shows up at the fair and sits next to Tara. One of the minions shows at the magic shop and Giles threatens to tie him up and he squeals, revealing that Glory has gone to get the Key. Mentions she's a "witch". Willow goes to find Tara. Glory breaks Tara's hand. She tastes Tara's hand-blood and realizes she's not the Key. Now she wants Tara to tell her who the Key really is. Threatens to eat her brain if she doesn't tell. Tara is saying nothing and Glory is getting all crazy. Just as Willow is running to her, Glory eats her brain and disappears. Tara's crazy now. Willow is sad and blames herself for not being there. They take her to the hospital to fix her hand. The doc says she has to spend the night in the psych ward. Buffy gets to the hospital last because she dropped Dawn off with Spike.

*Pausing for a sec. Man, this writing for 6 hours a day thing is really sucking the brains outta ME, that's for sure. Camp NaNoWriMo is harrrrrrrd. And this is only the third episode. I'm supposed to do one more. And my fingers hurt from all the typing. And I haven't left the house all day and barely left yesterday. I'm sucked into Buffy writing world. Ok, bitching over. I hear NaNoWriMo is hardest at the beginning of week 2, right?

Dawn is feeling hopeless. Blames herself for what happened to Tara. She doesn't even know what she is. Blames herself for how injured Spike is too. She must be something "so horrible to cause so much pain and evil". Spike says he knows evil and she isn't it.

Xander and Buffy try to calm Willow. Willow tries to leave to take on Glory. Buffy tries to stop her. Talk her down. Willow pretends to be dissuaded. Buffy is fooled and leaves Willow alone. Willow goes to the "off limits" section of the magic shop. She finds a book called "Darkest Magick". Glory is gloating when Willow arrives. Her eyes are black and she'd gliding through the air. "I owe you PAIN." Buffy is back at Spike's comforting her. She tells Dawn she calmed Willow down after she wanted to go all "paybacky on Glory". Spike's like, "and you believed her? Riiiiiight." Buffy goes to Glory's. Willow is kicking Glory's ass a little, but not enough. Buffy gets there just in time. Fighting. They get away.

Buffy, Willow, Dawn, and Tara are hiding out at Tara's. Willow is going to take care of her, indefinitely. Glory shows up. Tara calls Dawn "pure green energy"...then, credits.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Intervention.

episode 96.
airdate: 24 Apr 2001.

Giles, Buffy, and Dawn are doing dishes after a meal he made them. Giles asks her how she is and suggests they get back into training and B says she feels uneasy about slaying lately. She doesn't like how the slaying is making her into "stone". She laments not being there for Riley or Dawn. Giles tries to reassure her, but it doesn't work. Buffy doesn't want to lose her "heart". "Maybe being a Slayer means being too hard to love at all." Giles suggests a quest, spirit guide-type quest. A sacred place in the desert. She doesn't want to leave Dawn, but Dawn tells her she'll be ok.

Spike is admiring Warren's work at making his Buffy-bot.

Glory is telling the minions to investigate who's new in Buffy's life, who's precious. Giles is taking B to the desert for her quest. He does a funny gourd-shaking ritual. Spike is having fun with his new toy. Real Buffy is following a cat through the desert to get to the entrance of her quest-spot. "Hello kitty." Peaceful desert music, like from "Restless". Dawn steals Anya's earrings. The beginning of her kleptomania.

The minions are watching everyone. After lots of sex with the Buffybot, Spike is passed out and Buffybot goes to slay. She's been programmed to be just like B. The real Buffy is still waiting on a rock for her quest. Anya and Xander see Buffybot in the cemetery (they were patrolling for B while she's questing). Spike shows up and tries to diffuse the "Buffy's being weird" vibe going on. Vampires show up and Buffy stakes them, protecting Spike a lot. The minions see this. They send X and A home and then do it again. Xander observes that Buffy is still spacey from the quest. They see Buffy having sex with Spike. Xander and Anya get back to Xander's and tell Willow and Tara "Buffy is boinking Spike." Xander decides to go find Buffy and talk to her.

Real Buffy's quest finally starts. Xander shows up at Spike's and confronts him; minions show up and kidnap Spike. Buffy's spirit guide comes in the form of the First Slayer. "You're afraid that being the Slayer means losing your humanity." Tells her she loves with her "entire soul. Love is pain and the Slayer forges strength from pain. Love will bring you to your gift." Buffybot notices Spike is gone and goes to Willow. Willow is trying to accept that B had sex with Spike. Xander returns and tells everyone the minions took Spike. They're all looking to Buffy(bot) for answers and she says "I fight with weapons."

Real Buffy is asking questions of the guide. "Death is your gift." She doesn't accept this. But the guide leaves. The minions arrive with Spike, displaying him as the Key. Glory sniffs him and says the Key cannot be a vampire. The minions say B treated him as precious. Glory tortures him. Xander, Anya, Willow and Buffy(bot) are at B's house getting weapons when they suggest she go upstairs and get more weapons and change. After she goes they say they need to intervene about the doing it with Spike thing. Real Buffy gets home just then (obvs in a different outfit). Xander says "we care about you and we're worried about you". Buffy is confused, of course. Buffybot gets back from changing, only she didn't change. Xander says, "Hey, I know this! They're both Buffy!" Buffy immediately says, "No, she's a robot." They put it together. They update Buffy on the sitch with Glory/Spike.

Spike is chained up now and there's more torture. She's almost killing him, for information. He says he'll tell her who the Key is.

Buffy is taking charge and Giles is there now as they search for where Glory lives. Glory is giving Spike water because he said he'd talk. Spike says the Key is Bob Barker. He tells her he's not going to tell her anything. He starts mocking her. He does this so she kicks him so hard he's off his chains and he runs. He's very weak. He gets to the elevator just as everyone shows up. There's a fight: minions versus B and X. Who the hell is watching Dawn this whole time?

Giles and Buffybot show up to help with the fighting. Spike is barely conscious in the corner of the lobby. Buffybot saves Giles and starts short-circuiting. They all get out and Willow is working on the bot. Xander and Giles have taken Spike home. Buffy decides she needs to know if Spike squealed. Willow decides what's wrong with the Buffybot is "an easy fix". Xander sympathizes a bit with Spike because he was really "thrashed".

Buffybot shows up at Spike's. He looks terrible. "Why did you let that Glory hurt you?" "Because she wanted to know who the Key is..." "Well, I can tell her..." (Buffybot turns to go). Spike yells "No!" and stops her. Says she can never know, because the "not-so-pleasant" Buffy would be in too much pain if Glory got to Dawn. He'd rather Glory kill him than to see Buffy that hurt.

Wasn't the bot. Real Buffy is touched and kisses Spike. He realizes it's her. He asks about the bot as she's walking away and Buffy says she's "gone...gross and obscene...not even real". She almost walks out after saying this, then says "What you did for me and Dawn, that was real. I won't forget it." I know it's wrong, but I just rewound that scene and watched it again. It's a bit redemptive, yes?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Forever.

episode 95.
airdate: 17 Apr 2001.

Buffy is looking at coffins. For once in her vampire slayer life, she's doing it for a normal human reason and not searching for the undead. Picking something out for her mother. That would be so upsetting, choosing the thing she has to be in forever, which is exactly what Dawn just said. Fishbone pigtails though, Dawn? Like you have time to do that to your hair with all the crying? That's not terribly believable.

Dawn is upset that Buffy is dealing with all kinds of funeral arrangements and all that stuff, not showing a bunch of emotion. Which is understandable, when you're the one that has to deal with the specifics. Save the grief for later, though I'm more like Dawn. When the tornado hit my mom (and many other go-getter-types I know) sprung into action and took care of shit while I withdrew into myself and imploded. I wasn't able to deal with normal life stuff for months. I was barely able to go to work five days after...and all the feelings of PTSD and loss and grief surrounding the damage to my life and hometown was all intermingled with the death of my dad that happened two months after. I made some unwise decisions (like getting a ridiculous warranty on the new car I had to buy, even buying a brand new car PERIOD) just because I needed to choose the options that required the least thinking. I know I will never be the together-type in these situations, so I get where Dawn is...totally.

Spike shows up with flowers and Xander is mean but Spike says they're not for Buffy, they're for Joyce. "She was decent, didn't put on airs, and she never treated me like a freak." After Xander runs him off, Willow picks up the flowers and notices there isn't a card, so they really weren't for B.

The funeral. Dawn goes to stay the night with Tara and Willow after the funeral. Buffy just stays at the graveside. God, I'm crying again. Day turns to night and Angel shows up by her side. She reaches back wordlessly and takes his hand.

Dawn wants to do a spell to bring her mom back. Zombie Joyce! Anya and Xander have intense life-is-fleeting sex. Tara explains to Dawn that bringing back Joyce isn't possible. "We don't mess with life and death." It's possible, but too dangerous and something about wiccans taking an oath. Dawn throws a fit because they won't let her do it. B sits and talks with Angel all night. Buffy is scared of tomorrow because everyday living resumes after she took care of funeral, etc. Buffy is beating herself up over not getting home ten minutes earlier, that she didn't start CPR until the 911-peeps told her to. She's worried about taking care of Dawn. Angel is super sweet, offers to stay in town as long as she needs. They kiss.  It's very heated and they can't consummate it, of course, so she tells him to go but thanks him for getting her through the night. They sit together until dawn.

A minion confronts Ben as per usual and Ben accidentally reveals that the Key is a person and then stabs the minion. Dawn decides to stay after Tara and Willow leave for class. Willow does a little mojo to pull a book out from the others on the bookshelf and Dawn quickly finds a resurrection spell. Later Dawn pretends to dust at the magic shop while she's looking for the ingredients for the spell. She slyly gets Giles to reveal where the "off limits" books are, where she then finds what she needs to resurrect her mom. Later at the cemetery, she collects dirt at the graveside and Spike sees her. He warns that if the spell calls for more than dirt, she's in zombie territory. Spike assures her he won't tell, he'll help.

Giles is drinking at home listening to the music he and Joyce listened to the night of "Band Candy" when they had sex.

Dawn asks Spike why he's helping her if he's not looking for credit with Buffy (he tells her not to tell Buffy) and he says he doesn't like to see the Summers women in pain.

The minion didn't die and gets back to Glory telling her the Key is a human.

Spike takes Dawn to a weird spell-dude's house for an ingredient for the spell. He cautions against the spell. Creepy spell dude plucks a hair from Dawn's head and declares, after inspecting the hair, her mother a good candidate, good DNA. They have to steal a demon egg from the nest of the demon. Spell dude describes the spell. He warns that her mother may not come back the way she was and if the spell goes wrong to tear up the image of her mother that needs to be used for the spell. Spike is always saving Dawn's ass. If he wasn't there, she would have been killed by the demon whose eggs they're stealing, might have been victimized by creepy spell dude. The demon has three heads. Spike has to fight it while Dawn steals the egg. It breaks and she has to go back in to steal another and Spike gets a chunk bitten out of him in the process of defending her the second time without a weapon. Dawn does the spell at home alone in her room.

Tara notices the spellbook is gone. The one that Willow pointed out to her. Willow acts guilty and Tara calls Buffy. Buffy goes upstairs as Dawn is finishing the spell. Buffy confronts her. Dawn tells B she needs her mom. Buffy reassures her she has her. Joyce is walking towards the house...all you see are her zombie feet walking. Dawn tells B she doesn't feel anything and B breaks down. Dawn is reassured by Buffy showing emotion and being real with her. "Who's going to take care of us?" says B.

There's a knock on the door. Buffy runs to the door: "Mommy?" Dawn tears up the picture just as B opens the door. They hug and cry. And now I'm crying again. Damn you, Joyce Summers!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Body.

episode 94.
airdate: 27 Feb 2001.

Shit. Ok. I have to do this. Every time I watch this episode two things happen: one, I cry the entire 42 minutes and two, I promise myself I won't ever make myself watch it again. This time I might mean it...at least for a decade or so. It's so painful. Before I press play, I'm just going to write the majority of what I think about this episode intellectually before I become a blubbering mass of emotion. The rest of this blog once I start the episode might just be gibberish. Anyway, Joss did an incredible job on this episode. There is no score. It's all raw emotion dealing with real live super-fucking heart-wrenching death. The death of a parent. It's horrifying and raw and painful and the lack of music makes it hit home. And the way each of the different characters deals with the death in their own ways. Oh, man. Ok, I can't even talk about it intellectually now. I'll just have to stomp through the thing. *another deep breath*

We have to watch the last scene from the last ep again, damnit. She discovers her mom on the couch and says her name over and over. "Mom. Mom. Mom....Mommy?" Oh, god.

After credits, a scene of Thanksgiving or Xmas dinner at the Summers' house. Everything is all jovial and it cuts off abruptly, back to Buffy. Shaking her mom now, yelling at her. Not believing what's happening. Calls 911. They talk her through CPR. She does it. You hear her rib crack...the woman on the phone tells her she might have cracked a rib. "She's cold." She puts the phone down and stares out the window. She hangs up and there's a closeup of the numbers as she tries to remember how to call...Giles. She simply says, "You have to come. She's at the house." Then she goes to the door to wait for paramedics. You see Joyce wake up after the paramedics revive her and a few cuts to her mother at the hospital telling her "Thank God you found me in time." etc. but it abruptly stops and you're back in the real world where Buffy's mom is not waking up.

The paramedics have to tell Buffy her mom is dead. "She died a good while before you found her. There's nothing you could have done. She probably felt very little pain." The paramedics get called away. She's alone with her mom and Dawn is at school.

I paused for a sec. Had to hug my husband and get some wine so I can drink my feelings away. We're only 10 minutes in. Shit. She's just staring at her mother and then goes into the kitchen. You hear wind chimes out an open window. Buffy throws up in the hall. It's a beautiful sunny day. She opens the back door and hears someone practicing a tuba and kids playing nearby. Goes to get a paper towel to clean up her vomit. Everything feels so real. She even just stares at her vomit soaking into the towel. Giles comes in asking her if its "Glory". All ready for action. Buffy just stares at him, says the coroner is coming and she has to tell Dawn. Giles is standing int he doorway, is confused, looks over and sees Joyce. He goes to her and calls "Joyce Joyce!" Buffy is trying to tell him he can't, it's too late, and then she yells "We're not supposed to move the body!" and then she puts her hand over her mouth because she called her mom "the body". Giles realizes what's happened and goes to her. I'm jealous I never had a Giles.

Second act shows Joyce being zipped in a body bag, then cut to Dawn crying. Turns out she's crying at school in the bathroom over a boy issue. She goes to art class and is standing next to the boy she likes. Kind of flirts a bit with him. You can see Buffy through the window. She comes into the classroom, then gets Dawn out of class. Then you see Buffy telling her from the boy's perspective. From inside the classroom. You see Dawn react in the hallway from the windows of the classroom. Everyone from class watching, walking slowly to the window.

After every commercial break (and I actually have commercials interrupting this, because I'm watching it on Hulu on my iPad) they show Joyce again. Dead. Now we see Xander and Anya going to pick up Willow and Tara. Willow is staring at all these clothes trying to get dressed. Willow is obsessing over what to wear, what her clothes say about how she feels about the situation. Tara is trying to comfort her. Willow crying. No one can handle Willow crying. Their first onscreen kiss. Anya is asking Xander what is expected of them. Xander hugs Willow. All four of them stand there awkwardly. Anya is asking inappropriate questions. Willow decides she has to change again. Xander wants to know if Glory did this to Joyce, but Tara says Giles told her he's pretty sure it was natural. Xander is getting amped up, wanting something to fight. Willow puts her dukes up and Xander kisses her on the forehead. Anya is asking all these questions: "are we going to see the body?" Then Anya cries because she doesn't understand. She brings it home and there's more crying. Xander punches the wall and his hand is stuck in the wall. Anya and Willow pull him out. They all stare at his bloody hand.

They finally go. They've pulled themselves together a bit. They're all at the morgue. The doctor that did Joyce's operation did the autopsy. Anya hugs Giles. The doctor comes out and says she had an aneurism near the site of the tumor. That it was very sudden, she may have felt some nausea, then probably passed out as it happened. Dawn wants to see her mom. She says she has to pee but she goes to see her mom instead. Willow, Xander, and Anya go to find food and drinks for Buffy and Dawn, so Buffy is alone with Tara. Awkward. Tara reveals her mom died too. Her mom died when she was 17. Buffy says she's sorry. Tara tells her she had thoughts and reactions she couldn't understand or explain to anyone else, that sometimes she felt like she was going crazy or a horrible person. Tells her if she ever needs to talk...

Dawn enters the morgue. Bodies on trays. She somehow walks right to her mom. In the background you see another body waking up, a vampire. Dawn turns around. Everyone gets back from getting armloads full of snacks. Buffy goes to find Dawn. She hears Dawn scream and has to slay. As she's fighting the vampire, the sheet gets pulled off of Joyce. Buffy decapitates the vampire after a slow start, just as Dawn is standing up to look at their mother. Dawn asks if she's cold and Buffy says "It's not her. It's not her. She's gone." Dawn asks, "Where'd she go?" and reaches out to touch her and then....credits.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Crush.

episode 92.
airdate: 13 Feb 2001.

Everyone is at the grand (re)opening of the Bronze after a remodeling (after the troll destroyed a bunch of stuff). They all decide not to talk about Glory for the entire night, which is very meta, because we're not going to talk about her for the entire episode.

Spike sits by B and starts just chatting away with her and she asks him why he's there talking to her. She's so mean to him.

Willow is still getting headaches from the teleportation spell. Buffy sees Ben and goes over to talk to him. She thanks him for hanging with Dawn at the hospital and then proceeds to flirt with him. He's super cute, so I would too if I were in her situation.

A train comes into town and everyone on it has been massacred, including a train attendant dude who goes to investigate.

When Buffy gets home, Giles is there babysitting Joyce and Dawn, apparently. As he's leaving, Buffy asks Giles what he thinks about how Dawn's doing. He says she's coping very well. Buffy consults his advice on the fact that her and Joyce have been really lenient with Dawn lately and Giles thinks they should treat her normal.

Harmony tries to seduce Spike, but he's "never in the mood". Harmony suggests a game, so he has her dress up like the Slayer. That works.

Dawn goes to see Spike in the morning/afternoon. She likes hanging with Spike because he talks to her straight. Doesn't tiptoe around things. Buffy goes to find Dawn when she finds she's not home after school. It's dark now. He's telling stories to Dawn about killing people back in his bad days. Buffy breaks in and starts yelling at Spike for hanging out with Dawn. Dawn wants Spike to finish the story. He edits the ending in Buffy's presence. Dawn sort of has a crush on Spike. Buffy tries to tell Dawn Spike is a monster. Dawn tells B that Spike has a crush on HER, and she's all flabbergasted. How did she not notice this?

The next day Xander and Buffy go to check out the train massacre. Buffy tells Xander about Dawn thinking Spike's in love with her. Xander laughs. Xander is jealous that Dawn has a bit of a crush on Spike. Joyce is entertaining Spike and Dawn at home. Spike is being all charming, like he does. Spike knows info on the train thing and takes Buffy to where the vamps are holed up. They're doing a stakeout. When they enter the nest the vampires just run. They had nothing to do with the murders, as they'd obviously been there awhile. Buffy confronts Spike about the crush. She acts very disgusted. He's a bit more confident than he has been in the past. He tells her he can be good. She rejects him definitively.

When Spike gets home, Dru is there seeking reconciliation.

Dru wants to be a family again with Angel and Darla. There's a whole Angel plot thing going on. Darla came back from the dead as a human but Dru made her a vamp again and now they're trying to turn Angel bad again. Dru had to kill all those people on the train because Angel (as Angelus maybe? She called him Angelus, but I don't remember the details) set her on fire. Possibly Darla too. Dru knows about Spike's chip. She tries to seduce him, of course. Harmony shows up, confronts her for breaking Spike's heart. Spike throws Harmony out, violently. Then he kisses Dru after saying "I'm back". Buffy tells Joyce and Willow about Spike's crush. Willow thinks she needs to talk to him again and make it really clear there's no chance with her, ever.

Spike and Dru are dancing at the Bronze. they pick a couple to kill together. Dru breaks the neck of the girl in the couple real quick so Spike can feed on her. He has a moment where he almost can't do it, then he does. Meanwhile, B is at Spike's crypt. She doesn't break in violently this time. She goes down to the underground part of the crypt and discovers a little shrine he's got going to her: drawings, the mannequin dressed in her clothes, etc.

When she goes back upstairs Spike is there with Dru. Dru knocks her out with a cattle prod. Then he knocks Dru out with the cattle prod. When B and D wake up, they're both tied up. Spike tells Buffy he loves her and that he's going to kill Dru to prove it to her.

This is a bad way to show "love". Buffy tells him he can't love without a soul, but Dru tells her, "We can you know, if not wisely." He tells her how seriously important Dru is to him and how much it means to kill her for Buffy. He threatens to untie Dru and let her kill B if she doesn't admit there's some teeny tiny possibility that "there's a chance". She won't do it. And he won't let Dru kill her. He starts yelling. Blames Dru for cheating with the chaos demon. Admits he knows his feelings for Buffy are wrong, but he can't change them. Decides he really should just kill them both. Harmony shows up as he's saying this and hits him with a crossbow. Misses the heart. Past, present, and future are all there. Harmony intends to kill Spike. They fight as Dru frees herself and starts attacking B. Spike gets Dru off her and undoes her chains. Dru leaves. Harmony does also. Buffy knocks Spike across the room and leaves.

Spike chases her back to her house. She tells him to leave her alone, leave town, etc. He tries to follow her into the house, but she's revoked her invitation. She shuts the door on him.

I used to hate her for that, but I completely get it now. He's, like I keep saying episode after episode, obsessed with her and it isn't really love. Or if it is, it isn't a good kind of love. He can't think about anything but her, and that's never healthy. Yes, Spike can be insightful and compassionate, and his "love" is very loyal in its tunnel-vision-ness, and he would do anything for Buffy, but it's not right. It's not a good thing, and even though I'm sure B is attracted to him and knows their sex would be freaking fantastic, she can't reinforce him. She really needs to shut him out entirely, even though it hurts to see him rejected. This is exactly what most women don't do when men are unnaturally possessive of them. I mean, he tied her up and let his ex knock her out with a cattle prod. He tried to KILL his ex in front of her in order to show her how much he cares about her! I used to think that was sweet. What the hell was wrong with me? I still kind of do, that's the sick part. But I understand why I shouldn't. You have to know your worth is more than being treated like an obsession. Obsession isn't good for any party involved and Spike needs to learn a different way to love. Ultimately, we find that he cannot do this without a soul. Even though he's a total mess, I still think Spike is one of the most interesting characters on this show. I don't really have a crush on him anymore, and that's progress (!), but I think he's terribly interesting nonetheless.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Blood Ties.

episode 91.
airdate: 6 Feb 2001.

It's Buffy's birthday again. 20. Glory is a crazy hellgod. Being not from this dimension she has to eat brains to sustain her form in the human world. Willow and Xander start asking about finding the Key before Glory does. Remember, they still don't know about Dawn. Only Giles, Buffy, and Joyce do. Buffy reveals she and Giles know, but didn't want to put them in danger by telling them. She decides it's time to tell them after Xander points out they always put themselves in danger.

"There's something that you need to know about Dawn."

The knights of Byzantium are chanting when the Glory-minions show up to fight them. The knights mostly kick their asses. Glory shows up and kicks their asses. Willow and Tara are doing a spell to protect the Magic Box, alert them to the presence of any hellgods in the vicinity. Everyone is acting weird around Dawn.

Glory is torturing one of the knights to ascertain the whereabouts of the Key. He doesn't know and refuses to tell her anyway, so she eats his brain.

Buffy is opening presents. Dawn gives her a homemade frame with shells they found on a trip to the beach. The picture inside is from the trip to the beach too. Everyone gets all mysteriously quiet. Dawn notices everyone is weird around her and confronts them all about it; no one says anything helpful.

She goes to her room and slams the door, then sneaks out, runs into Spike. He's there with a present for Buffy. She tells him she's headed to the magic shop to break in and steal things. Spike decides to go with her. She wants to find a book Giles hid in her presence. The book is Giles' journal/notes on the Key. Dawn reads it aloud. She finds out she's the Key, obviously. "Guess that's you, niblet", says Spike.

Party has mostly wound down when Dawn shows up having cut her own arms. "Is this blood? Am I real? Am I anything?" Buffy and Joyce tell Dawn the truth about everything. They're very forthright. Buffy finds out Spike is the one that got Dawn into the magic shop and goes to beat him up, as per usual. He tells her he went along to protect her. "If kid sis wants to grab a midnight stroll, she'll find a way sooner or later. I just thought she'd be safer with Big Bad looking over her shoulder." He defends Dawn and suggests that Buffy shouldn't have kept her in the dark so long.

One of the minions confronts Ben. Tells him he needs to stop defying her. Ben tells him Glory can't "lay a finger" on him and they know it.

Dawn is burning her old journals alone in her room. She was suspended in school. She destroys her room. When Buffy and Joyce find the fire, Dawn is gone. Buffy calls a meeting and assigns everyone a side of town (in twos) to look for Dawn. For some reason, Spike is at the meeting. Does this mean he's finally been let in? Anyway, her and Spike are the twosome for their part of the search. Why wouldn't she put Spike with one of the less physically-able peeps? She divided them up as to who would want to hang with who the most, it seems. Well, except Xander/Giles, but they're just hilarious together. Narrative pairings, really, then.

Can you imagine having all these memories of your life, but they're not real? Everyone else is wondering the same things. Buffy tells Spike he was right about telling Dawn earlier, but Spike makes her feel better by telling her she's not only a ball of energy, but also a fourteen-year-old "hormone ball", so she may have reacted this way no matter how she found out or when.

Dawn's wanderings lead her to the hospital. She goes to the mental ward and all the patients know it's her, ironically. The ones that Glory debrains are the ones that know who the Key is. Dawn starts asking them questions about what she is. She runs into Ben and he comforts her over a cup of hot chocolate. Dawn reveals everything to him. Ben tells Dawn to get away from him because "she always knows". Then you see Ben turn into Glory for the first time. Glory wants to know what Ben was doing with Dawn and takes her somewhere more deserted in the hospital. Glory asks her if she knows where the Key is. Dawn asks her what it looks like and she says it's a "bright green swirly shimmer". She presses Glory for more information on the Key. It's been around for a really long time. Glory gets angry after all the questions. Gets a little crazy. Thinks about eating Dawn's brain when Buffy and everyone show up (after they reconvened, Buffy decided to check the hospital).

She's thisclose to killing everyone when Willow does a teleportation spell on Glory. Buffy tells Dawn she loves her because she's her sister and her blood is Buffy's blood. Makes her feel a little better. Willow has a wicked nosebleed from the spell. Dawn tells Buffy Ben was there...but he must have "left before Glory came". She doesn't remember Ben is Glory.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Checkpoint.

episode 90.
airdate: 23 Jan 2001.

Everyone is having a meeting at Joyce's. The Watchers Council are coming. Glory is in need of a brain. Her minions bring her one. She's overly confident about killing the Slayer.

Quentin (Watcher head dude) is very intimidating, on purpose. Makes everyone twitchy. Condescending as all getout. They close the Magic Box "for the duration of the Council's review". God, they're such asses. They're not going to give up any of their "information" on Glory until she passes their "tests".

Buffy has some interesting insights during history class about Rasputin, but the professor humiliates her with his tiny penis, metaphorically of course. Later, Spike "helps" Buffy with the staking. Michael just asked, "Is this the day that they wear matching outfits?" Ha, they are! The minions come to Ben requesting information on Buffy and her friends and their habits. Buffy barges into the magic shop to see the entire force of the Council. About the "exhaustive examination of your procedures and abilities". Calls her friends "civilians". Giles stands up for Buffy valiantly. They threaten shutting down the Magic Box and deporting Giles. She pretty much feels like she has to comply. Giles says it's a "power play". Buffy is whiney and feels helpless, just like the last time the Council was in town.

The Council is doing an exhaustive interview process with all of Buffy's friends, including Spike. Another test involves blindfolding Buffy and barking Japanese commands at her, which Giles then translates for her. Buffy goes home after a long day of Council shit and Glory is there. She's there to talk, not to fight. Glory meets Dawn. Glory threatens her with the killing of her mom, sis, and friends. Buffy brings Dawn and Joyce to Spike's crypt, asking him to look after them. Joyce and Spike immediately bond over "Passions".

There's a big final psychological meeting at the Magic Box with the Council. Buffy has to fight some knight-type dudes with swords, all ninja-like. Turns out they're the "Knights of Byzantium". There's a bunch of them. They want to destroy the Key, but they're not aligned with Glory. She kills the first three, but not the last (after unmasking him and realizing he's human).

Buffy announces "there isn't going to be a review". She tells them that people have been lining up to tell her how unimportant she is. Glory telling her she could squash her like a bug...but she doesn't. It's about power, and SHE has it. She throws a sword at one of the Council dudes who interrupts her. She tells 'em off right good. mmmmm-hmmm. She makes her demands: the Magic Box stays open, Giles stays and is officially reinstated as her Watcher to be paid retroactively from the month he was fired, and they tell her everything they know about Glory.

"Glory isn't a demon....she's a god."

Wha?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Triangle.

episode 89.
airdate: 9 Jan 2001.

Xander and Anya are talking about Buffy's relationship debris. Buffy's kicking ass at a convent and asked the nun she saves from vampires lots of questions about how one becomes a nun, etc. Giles is getting ready to make a trip to England to check out some books at the Watchers' Council, since they are coming up with nothing in Giles' library on Glory. Anya and Willow are fighting about taking care of the shop while Giles is gone. No one seems to trust Anya.

Joyce is healing. Dawn talks to Buffy about relationship stuff, comforts her a bit after Riley leaving. Everyone misses Riley. Spike is rehearsing giving Buffy some chocolates. Trying to be sweet. He has a mannequin dressed in her clothes with a blonde wig. Obsession, like I said. He ends up yelling at the mannequin and hitting it over the head with the chocolates and starts over. More Anya/Willow fighting.  They're putting Xander in the middle of everything all the time. They run Xander and Tara off. Their fighting ruins a spell Willow was trying to do and conjures a huge troll. During a conversation between Tara and Buffy at school, Tara tells her about Xander clearing out at the magic shop earlier, and Buffy gets all hysterical thinking Anya and Xander are in trouble. They "have a miraculous love". Spike sees Xander at the Bronze and sits and talks to him. Tara and Buffy go to the shop and see the damage the troll caused and go after it. Anya and Willow are gone looking for him too. Xander is confiding in Spike. The troll shows up at the Bronze. Willow and Anya show up. Willow says "I wish Buffy were here." and then Buffy shows up with Tara immediately after she says it.

It is revealed that Anya dated the troll. She turned him into a troll after he cheated on her. There's a bunch of people in the Bronze just watching it happen. There's a bunch of destruction before the troll takes off and Spike helps make some disaster victims more comfortable and "you want credit for not feeding on helpless disaster victims?!" He's trying to impress her, which I used to think was cute...but really it's kinda scary.

Willow and Anya go back to the magic shop to find a spell to re-trap the troll. Anya is jealous of Willow and Willow is jealous of Anya. They kind of work it out. The troll shows back up and Xander shortly after who tries really hard to kick the troll's ass. They're destroying everything in the magic shop. I hate that. The troll gives Xander the choice between Anya or Willow...he's planning to kill one of them. Xander refuses to choose. The troll breaks his hand or wrist or something. The troll says something to Buffy about how Xander and Anya won't last and this gives Buffy extra oomph to kick the troll's ass. And then she cries after Willow sends the troll to "troll land".

Giles comes home and tells Joyce and Buffy that the Watchers don't know anything yet, but they're looking into it. Joyce says something about Dawn being the Key and Dawn overhears part of it, but not enough to know she's the Key, just that they're talking about her being something.