Young Adult (2011).

replayability: 6
dialogue: 6
music: 6
ambience: 7
characters: 8
TOTAL: 33

I only have 10% battery so I'm going to blog until the computer dies. LIVIN' ON THE EDGE! I need a drink. Why am I not drinking yet during a blog/movie marathon? That's crazy. Hold on...

I knew when I first saw the DVD menu sequence that this movie was for me. The colorful cassette, the dirty stereo buttons, the grungy fingernails. I'm all over it. Charlize Theron is an amazing actress. I respect her a lot. This movie really makes me feel better about not being a typically pretty girl, getting to see Charlize tear off latex pasties, put hairpieces and fake lashes and tons of foundation on her face is encouraging to someone that doesn't do much beauty maintenance at all and looks ok. If I spent as much time getting ready as this chick, I might be fuckin' smokin', too! It could happen...

Like Jenna Marbles, the YouTube star? Out of makeup, she looks sort of nerdy and sweet, but then you get her in the wing-tipped liquid liner, the lashes and the foundation, and she's breathtaking. Beauty is an effort, as we've seen with drag queens. I recently saw a picture of a friend of mine in pasties. I was not only inspired by her ballsiness posting that on the internet, but it was also encouraging to see that her breasts were less-than-perfect and not as large as normally advertised. You can have cleavage no matter how small your breasts are. How cool is that? I used to be against artifice in physical appearance and I'm still not really ok with plastic surgery, but really, if whatever you're doing makes you feel sexy (fake hair, water bra, three pairs of false eyelashes), then do it! I'm flirting with the idea of extreme cleavage, myself. And I'm warming up to false eyelashes and heels. So off topic and I'm at 4% now, too.

It's sort of redundant posting about these movies because I'm only analyzing the ones that are on my top 20 list. Every sentence begins with "I love how..."

Ok, switched to the iPad so you don't have to worry about my battery percentage anymore, 'cause I know you were just biting your nails about it. Several people commented in reviews on this movie that Patton Oswalt basically plays himself, bla bla bla. And perhaps he is, but Patton Oswalt is awesome. It's ok to be a character actor. You don't have to be super versatile. Being super versatile is also a great trait in an actor, but being Patton Oswalt works for him. Babies ARE boring. Thanks for saying that, Charlize. I'm sure babies aren't boring to breeders, and I know and love a lot of breeders AND babies. I love my niece and my nephew and my Bella, but that's probably all the baby-love I've got in me.

Another woman in a life-crisis story. I love self-destruction, she says as she sucks down another swig of cranberry-vodka. I don't ever really remember caring in high school whether or not I was popular, but I still get sick satisfaction out of seeing stories wherein the popular girls and boys are total fuckups as adults. Only in fiction, though. I would honestly feel empathy for almost any of the popular kids from my own high school I saw heading down a dark, sad road. I'd still have a small smirk hidden in my empathy, but just a small one, really.

That's hearbreaking to realize that the song you thought was "your song" with someone is their song with someone else too, or that they associate it with that other person exclusively and not with you. But this is how music is...what I considered a love song at 18 I consider a love song now, for the most part. "Apart" breaks your heart just as much during the third big breakup of your life as it did the first.

I can't even imagine what it must have been like for the popular kids back in school. Was it like being famous? Is real life difficult after being the famous of popularity? I mean, how do you turn out without all that pain and angst in your formative years? I dated a former athletic popular kid once and he was kind of like Charlize in this movie. An addict, uncertain, weird, still thinking of himself as this invincible creature. I wonder if many former-popular people suffer from a distorted sense of reality.

There's NO WAY her freakin' car works after all this time! And there's also no way her room is still the same. I mean, does this really happen, ever? That people's childhood bedrooms are kept as a time capsule? For some reason, this movie makes me want to be stylish and pretend to be ok even when I'm not. Perhaps I'll have a breakdown like Kristen or Charlize. This is my mental health year, goddamnit, and I deserve to ruin a civilized garden party too!

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Bridesmaids (2011).

replayability: 7
characters: 8
music: 6
dialogue: 6
ambience: 6
TOTAL: 33

Last movie on my list of favorites...well, unless I count "Young Adult". Why not, right? Ok, not the last movie, but I want to finish this project tonight, so apparently I'm watching two movies. Gather up your cranberry-vodka cocktails, ladies, and let's DO THIS.

I happen to, for some reason, own this movie on BluRay and my mom has a BluRay player, so I'm watching this in highdef even though it's not Planet Earth, so why, but that's another rant entirely that can actually be summed up by saying that I don't really see the point in BluRay unless it's nature. Normally I don't want to see pores, but individual blades of grass? Yes, please.

Maybe pores are ok now that I'm watching this, because it makes the actors look like real people. It's not as scary as seeing the local newscasters' pores. I mean, just skip Gary Bandy in highdef, God love him. This looks amazing, actually. Oh no, I can feel myself getting spoiled by this crispness just like I did with the "Retina" display on my iPhone. Damn pixel density!

It's so nice to see a real reaction from a BFF when the other gets engaged, instead of just squealing and jumping and immediate planning and scheming and more squealing. I love that she's driving a super-old Toyota too. It reminds me of my first car, a 1984 Honda Civic named Shirley. Melissa McCarthy is so spectacular. She really is. I can't imagine this world of fancy engagement parties and country clubs. I would feel just as out of place as Kristen Wiig. The joke with the dueling speeches at the engagement party runs a little long, though. This may not make the list, because I just don't know it well enough. I was blown away by this movie when I first saw it because it's a film about female friendships and weirdness and awkward humor. I was worried it would be a "Hangover" for girls, but it's so much better than that. The love interest is charming and their interactions are believable. The crux of the movie is the believable interactions between all the characters, besides that they're all super funny in a way that people usually aren't. I love that almost an entire Fiona Apple song is played while Wiig makes herself one perfect cupcake. OMG, I want a cupcake...even a sad cupcake.

Such a great touch that everyone really looks terrifyingly awful as they're sick at the dress place. It's so gross. And hilarious, though I usually don't do poop humor. They don't go to the reallyreally gross visual place, like a "hangover"-type movie would. It's more about their faces and how they feel as they're getting sick, which I find classy. A classy poop joke. I'm into that.

I still find it so weird that weddings are such a big deal. I tried not to make a big deal out of mine, but I still think I made too big a deal out of it. If I could do it over, I'd have less people there and think about it way less and make sure there was video footage of the reception, because Lord knows I don't remember a THING.

How perfect is Melissa McCarthy's speech to Kristen on the couch? So perfect. Inspirational, really. I would recommend this movie to anyone going through a hard time. Pick-me-up kinda movie.

I don't understand why Maya has to leave her apartment. They kind of dropped the ball on the fiance front. He's not there really, ever, and they don't already live together...what's that about? Don't freakin' marry someone you don't already live with, ok? That's crazy talk. I'm docking a point for that. I don't really dread any point in this movie except for the part when Kristen is mean to Love Interest Guy the morning-after. I usually have trigger-moments during movies that I have to skip or leave the room during, but "Bridesmaids" has a really great collection of wonderful moments. Very great movie overall.

There ain't nothin' wrong with a movie that ends with Wilson Philips' "Hold On". Nothin'.

Juno (2007).

replayability: 8.5

music: 6
dialogue: 9
atmosphere: 8.5
characters: 8.5
TOTAL: 40.5

Let me just start by saying that I don't normally enjoy the music of Kimya Dawson or The Moldy Peaches. If it weren't for the opening shots of Ellen Page and "the most magnificent living room set" she's ever seen, I would have been immediately turned off when that music started...but because of this movie, I no longer hate it with the fire of a thousand suns. I can tolerate it and even have a few of the Kimya songs from the soundtrack in my music collection.

I know a lot of people complain about the dialogue-heaviness in this movie, particularly the opening scenes with Rainn Wilson, but this is exactly the reason I love Diablo Cody. Dialogue-Heavy are practically the magic words when it comes to me and the movies I love. But not like Quentin Tarantino-dialogueheavy, but, well like this movie. I know kids don't talk like this, but it's definitely for me. "Young Adult" may need to be on my list too. It's so new that I didn't count it, but perhaps I should. I'm thisclose to being done with this project and I'm adding new movies.

I almost never watched this movie, because I knew it was about a teenage girl that decided to keep her unwanted child. I'm pro-"nipitinthebud"-girl all the way, baby. This movie is just too cute, though. And hey, it's called pro-CHOICE for a reason. Juno chose to have the kid and I can respect that because at least she knew she was "ill-equipped".

This movie was my introduction to The Kinks, I'm ashamed to say...and I still really only like "Well Respected Man". And Buddy Holly's "Dearest" is an excellent song, as well. I think I'm obsessed with all these teen movies because I need to constantly remind myself to be as alive as I felt as a teenager. I think most adults could use this advice. What's wrong with a little mismatched clothes, some inappropriate commentary in polite conversation, and just generally living in the emotionally underdeveloped moment? I'm into that, for sure. It's easy to forget to question how you feel and what you want at any given moment. I know I'm always writing this sentiment, but again, it's easy to lose track of LIFE. Full and vibrant life!

You know what's "gender neutral"? Everything. Including people, essentially--if we'd get out of our own ways and let everyone be however they are, but it would be so impossible to raise a child without gender "norms" invading them from all angles of society. I just immediately like someone when they question these norms. Not that this movie does that, so I'm off topic...

I hate the parts where you're nervous husband-dude is going to molest Juno. It's such a weird plot development. I guess there had to be a catalyst for him leaving his unfulfilling life, but it makes me so uncomfortable even still. Sonic Youth does suck. There, I said it. Except for "Bee Bee's Song" and that Carpenters cover from this soundtrack.

I love the father/daughter talk in this and every other movie wherein there's a touching, yet humorous father/daughter lecture, like in "Pretty In Pink" and shit. Sage dad advice. Good stuff.

I love how Cody freaks you out in the last 20 minutes of the movie, making you think she's going to keep the baby after all, but then she doesn't, 'cause she's smart. I also love how Juno's BFF appears to be a popular cheerleader, but it's never brought up as an issue that she's so close with weirdo Juno.
Michael Cera used to be so cute and sweet. Wonder if he still is.

"I know people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but I guess normalcy just isn't our style." Cute.

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The Big Lebowski (1998).

ambience: 6
replayability: 7
characters: 7
dialogue: 7
music: 7

TOTAL: 34

I'm not sure I'll have a lot to say about this movie other than, "Huh hu, huh hu, I love that line." or "I still say that all the time"... I haven't seen this movie in a long while, but it used to be the first film I watched in a new apartment while I was unpacking my stuff to get cozy in the new space (along with "Mallrats" and "Breakfast Club") and I imagine I will do so again...

I get it..."The Dude" is like the "Tumbling Tumbleweed". A thing out of place in the "City of Angels". There's a new book out about "The Dude" cowritten by Jeff Bridges and a Zen Master. The premise is something about how the character of "His Dudeness" relates to a concept in Buddhism...maybe the Bodhisattva of laziness? I don't know; I haven't read it yet. Again, I like a movie that has space built within it...a movie wherein not much happens plot-wise. Something simple and airy; that's my bag.

How will I keep myself from transcribing all the quotes from this movie that have become part of the pop culture language amongst myself and my peers. "You're entering a World of Pain, man!" "You're out of your element, Donny." "You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole." "This aggression will not stand, man."

Michael wants to be Jesus for Halloween this year. That outfit might be hard to find. I wonder if bowling polyester outfits can be found in any color. bowlingoutfits.com?

This has been an ennui day...I tend to call this state I'm in "hopeless bleak despair" though it's not really that bad...I'm being dramatic. Anyway, I'm going to score this thing and just enjoy the rest. Happy Monday, all.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004).

I think you know within the first 5 seconds whether or not this movie is for you. The opening credits are phenomenal. They really manage to get you geared up for the elementary-school-in-the-'80s-miasma of the movie. Somehow the infinite coolness of Jack White can't even undercut the current of nerd-setting you're about to be immersed within for the next 90 minutes. I'm always reluctant to start one of my favorite movies, like the time between viewings somehow negates my positive feelings for the film, even though it never works out like I fear it will. Already, I'm seriously on board and worrying that my tornado-damaged (it looks REALLY gnarly and this is the first time I've attempted to watch it since that awful day) copy of "Napoleon Dynamite" won't make it the full running time and I'll have to drive to Family Video to rent it or *gasp* spend the $9.99 on Amazon to purchase the digital version. I really don't want to do that when I know it will be $5 at Vintage Stock tomorrow, but I probably won't be able to resist the siren-call of the dance scene at the end for another 16 hours, so everyone hold your breath and hope that my spit-and-rubbing-on-pants-disc-cleaning trick worked like it's supposed to...

What's so brilliant about this movie is the space built into it. The (is it Idaho?) landscape is lush but realistic, the sound design is sparse but feels like the zen of youth, and who films the inside of buses anymore? since "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" anyway? Fucking fantastic!

"What are you going to do today, Napoleon?"
"Whatever I feel like I want to do....gawd!"

I used to begin mixes with this sound bite. Now I think it's my notification sound when I have a calendar alert on my phone...gives me that little moment of rebellion before I decide to do what the iPhone tells me to do.

I love that Napoleon is all clandestine about throwing the action figure out the bus window, as if anyone would care that he's doing something so ridiculous. Tetherball is stupid, everyone knows that. Awkward humor is pretty much the only humor I get and regularly enjoy. This movie was made for me. So priceless that he puts his tater tots in the pocket of his pants.

Once, in high school, I was really nervous to go out with a cute boy. He asked me to watch a Pokemon movie with him at the cheap theatre and we were both super awkward and decided to meet there. When we got there we found that the movie wasn't showing anymore and instead of deciding to watch something else or do something else, we both just got in our cars and left without hanging out at all. So weird. That's what the moment where Napoleon slams his locker-door shut and runs away after giving Deb her craft-stuff back reminds me of...so funny and so sad.

I also relate to the fact that Napoleon always takes the phone into the other room even though he's having the most mundane conversation ever. I do that too. I feel like I can't talk on the phone if I can't go into a separate room and shut the door.

Napoleon looks pretty hot in his suit. I'd totally clumsily slow-dance with him. I know the kids in this movie are obviously teenagers, but the ambience reminds me of my elementary school, probably because the era the movie seems to be set would be about the time I was in 5th grade; plus this was THE most unpopular time of my life. I'm really having a flashback here, apparently. I might as well go with it: so, in the last entry about "Moulin Rouge" I described my penchant for opera-singing-show-and-tell. I also farted frequently in class, asked out, and subsequently got turned down by, four different boys (in the having-a-friend-do-it-for-me or via "Do you like me, Yes or No" note way, of course), and sucked at all sports forever--even tetherball. I had two or three friends, at most, and girls were mean to me of course, but hey, such is life. If you don't go through stupid humiliation and embarrassment in school, when will you create the character to become cool later in life?

I'm going to have to start drinking things like Napoleon drinks his Gatorade. He does it like he's a super-athlete, like a dance warrior. Love it.

Napoleon dancing for Pedro's "skit" is one of my favorite moments in a movie ever. EVER. I get all giddy when I see it...it's coming up!! I think the important thing to remember in life, the thing maybe this movie didn't mean to convey, but does for me, is that it's better to do what you love awkwardly than to fit in quietly. Be a Napoleon and not a Summer. Still an awesome movie.

ambience: 6
characters: 7
replayability: 8
dialogue: 7
music: 8

TOTAL: 36

High Fidelity (2000).

This is probably my favorite movie of all time (we'll see by the time I'm done rating these movies--the stack is dwindling). I love the book.

The only thing that could make the movie better would be if the music were more my taste, but the aura of High Fidelity is totally and completely perfect. I AM ROB GORDON. Well, I'm not as much of a pushover (and I hope I'm not as much of an asshole), but my music habits are very similar. The concept of "top five" leeches into my existence on a daily basis. I find it indispensable. It's so much more quintessential than a top 10. It forces you to commit to FIVE. Genius.

Perfect use of Jack Black, too.

Ok, this movie could also be better if a female was a main character and NOT just an object of Rob's affection. And if there were gay characters...I'll dock "atmosphere" a point for that. I dig that Rob puts on music before he even checks his messages when he gets home from work, a place wherein he listened to music throughout his entire workday.

I get goosebumps every time I watch the scene when Rob is reorganizing his record collection "autobiographically". That is so fucking ambitious and awe-inspiring. I'm boring and I do alphabetical then chronological within artist. Well I did do, before my CDs flew away. Now, iTunes organizes for me. The distinctly specific comfort Rob describes at reorganizing his record collection is no longer a comfort I get to enjoy. However, I am starting to collect vinyl, so perhaps someday I'll have a wall covered in floor-to-ceiling shelving full of vinyl. What I really want is mixtapes. I wonder if I could get friends and strangers to donate their mixtapes to me, since I only have like twenty of my originals. If you're reading this and you have old mixtapes gathering dust in your garage, email me (mixtressrae@yahoo.com). I will send you stamped self-addressed boxes for you to fill up and send me your beautiful old cassettes. Seriously.

Joan Cusack NEEDS to be in every one of John's movies. And vise versa. She is just a gem.

I want to live in Rob's apartment. It's so cozy and dark and full of personality. Like a little cave-like sanctuary. I will have that again one day.

This is one of the few movies that I still like the middle and end. I'm IN with this movie up until the end. Usually, plots blow their load in the first act, but not High Fidelity. And it doesn't end when you think it will...it doesn't end when they get back together. And I think that's awesome. And their relationship isn't this divine thing that fixes itself and ends up perfect. It's not crazy or terrible, just good. I love it. Real.

Rob doesn't even describe the "art of making a tape" until the end of the movie...love it. It truly feels like getting a glimpse of a real person's life instead of a neatly packaged plot which doesn't happen in life! I hate neatly packaged!

I love that Laura says no to Rob when he proposes to her. And I love that he explains the "other woman" as being a "fantasy". It's one of the only examples of a realistic relationship in film I have ever seen. I thought it was primarily the dialogue and Rob's relationship to music that drew me to this movie, but it's also Rob and Laura and all the genuineness between them. Y'all know I'm not a sappy girl; this is a love story I can get behind!


replayability: 10
character average: 9
atmosphere: 9
music: 8
dialogue: 10

TOTAL: 46

The Matrix (1999)

I never noticed Cypher was betraying them from the beginning until this watching. I really don't pay that much attention to movies, apparently. I usually just sit back and enjoy the pretty words/pictures. It's going to be difficult for me to give this movie any less than tens across the board because every shot is meticulously beautiful. The only complaint I have is that it's a typical hero/Christ story and that the "One" is male. If Joss Whedon had written the screenplay with the Wachowskis, this movie would be fucking unstoppable.

Agent Smith is perfect. How is Hugo Weaving not the biggest star ever? I mean, he lipsyncs better than most drag queens I've seen in person, has the vocal cadence of I don't know--God?, and the versatility of a contortionist. He's pretty much my favorite character in these movies. Ugh, I hate Morpheus, though. He's soooo tiresome. Fucking believers, man! What's their deal? And he's SUCH a drama queen. He's so patronizing and cryptic and self-righteous. Of course, I didn't feel this at first before I knew what was going on with this movie. So, ok, obviously, he's the audience surrogate and I need to let him do his dramatic thing and shut up about it already.

I think the pills are really just DayQuil and NyQuil. I've always loved the idea of questioning reality. I'm very much a pluralist in the way that I believe that we are only as good as our perceptions and our perceptions cannot...wait, I have to watch Neo unplug...our perceptions cannot be assured as reality. We can never see through someone else's eyes, truly. That's the true true. Sorry, I know...

So, was the pill just a symbol? No, it made him hallucinate...ok, so it loosened his perceptions of what he thought of as "reality". I wonder if fat people in the Matrix are really just people with bad self-esteem, because if everyone is really just a "battery" no one would be overweight. So, is no one overweight IN the Matrix?

Morpheus: Your appearance now is what we call residual self-image: the mental projection of your digital self.

God, I love that line! What would be the mental projection of YOUR digital self?

I don't really mind the doofus-ness of Keanu Reeves. Never have. Yes, I find him attractive. He's pale, skinny and dark-haired. That's my type. But, I don't mind his daftness simply because some of us are like this, but aren't actually daft. I choose to believe Keanu is this type.

Ok, so essentially Morpheus speaks in zen koans. I suppose I see his purpose, but I still respect a direct-talker.

I heart the Oracle! So, when the Oracle tells Neo he isn't the one, that he has "the gift, but it looks like you're waiting for something" this supports my theory that everyone is "The One", we just haven't, most of us, self-actualized yet. I hope that was an intended message by the Wachowskis, because I like it!

How many times have you handed someone a cookie and said those famous "right as rain" words? I've said it dozens! Ok, I'm calling it. Scores below. It's almost midnight and this might be the only "winter" night we have this year (if last winter is any indication) so I'm going to cuddle up without the computer for the movie's last half hour.


replayability: 8
music: 10
character average: 7.3
atmosphere: 8
dialogue: 7

TOTAL: 40.33

my top 16 movies...

are as follows (in chronological order):

Carrie
The Breakfast Club
Real Genius
The Crow
Clueless
Empire Records
Mallrats
Velvet Goldmine
The Matrix
High Fidelity
Best in Show
Moulin Rouge
Napoleon Dynamite
The Big Lebowski
Juno
Bridesmaids

That's wayy too many movies. I need to narrow it down to a top 10. To do this, I'm going to watch all 16 and rate them on a scale of one to ten on the following five parameters:

1. atmosphere/setting/cinematography
2. characters: this will be achieved by rating each of the main characters on the one to ten scale and then averaging their scores.
3. dialogue
4. music
5. replayability

Each movie has the potential of achieving 50 points. If there's a tie for 10th place, the two movies in question will have to be rewatched/rescored to break the tie. I will blog about each one as I watch it (or take notes and post the blog later, either way). Hopefully, hilarity will ensue and I will be reminded of why these are my favorite movies. If anyone would like to join me, I'll be watching them in the order above. I'm watching "Carrie" tonight, but text/msg/email me if you want to come over for popcorn and join in the movie analysis for any of the films below "Carrie" on the list.