Buffy the Vampire Slayer: No Place Like Home.

episode 83,
airdate: 24 Oct 2000.

Opening: shuffling monks. They're moving fast..."Two Months Ago". Doing a spell. Chanting. Something is after them.

"Now": Buffy is fighting a butch vampire. She finds a glowy ball at the scene of the slaying, which is some sort of industrial area.

It's the grand re-opening of the Magic Box and Giles is wearing a wizard outfit. The shot is held for 8 whole seconds going between Giles in his silly outfit (complete with hat) and Buffy judging him. He takes off the cape and hat. Joyce is still getting headaches and they're worse.

Giles: It (the glowy orb thing) appears to be paranormal in origin.
Willow: How can you tell?
Giles: Well, it's so shiny.

Buffy goes to the hospital to fill a prescription for her mom when she sees the security guard that she met at the industrial area where she killed the vamp. He's uncontrollably crazy now. She also formerly meets Ben. And then we see Glory for the first time. Anya comes into the magic shop complaining about money. Buffy comes in shortly after claiming her mom's sickness is supernatural. Glory is already rambling about "The Key" in only her second scene. She's torturing a monk. He refuses to tell her anything. She goes a little nutty (ok, a lot nutty) and then sucks the brain out of a security guard she also has captive.

Meanwhile, Giles is overwhelmed by all the customers in the magic shop. Everyone is helping and Anya is really enjoying it. Anya suggests a trance to see all spells in the area to see if something is affecting her mother. Buffy does the trance thing all by herself. Insert calming "restless"esque music here. She achieves the trance and walks around her house to check the magic/spell status. Her mom is totally normal...no spells anywhere, but the picture behind her head with her, her mother and Dawn keeps changing with Dawn fading in and out. So she goes to Dawn's room and sees it changing from her room to what it was before (some kind of storage area). When she sees Dawn she tells her "You're not my sister." She thinks she is messing with her mom and confronts her. Dawn is scared. Giles calls as Buffy and Dawn are staring at each other, tells her the glowy orb is called the Dagon Sphere.

Spike is lurking outside Buffy's house. She punches him.

Buffy: What are you doing here? Five words or less.
Spike: (counting on his fingers with each word) Out. For. A. Walk....Bitch.

He's being all stuttery and cute. Obvs he was NOT there on a stroll because there are like 15 cigarette butts by the tree he was standing behind. *claps and squeals* I love Spike being into Buffy. Buffy encounters Glory who is FREAKishly strong. Giles, Willow, and Xander are exhausted after the long day at the magic shop, but Anya is all energized. Giles offers her a job. Xander calls Giles "Big G". I never noticed that before. Glory is really beating up Buffy. She rescues the monk and jumps out the window with him, escaping. The monk is dying. He tells Buffy she has to protect "The Key". That it's a portal. That it used to have no form at all. That they (he and some other monks) made the Key human and sent it to her to protect it. He tells her everything, that the monks built the memories of Dawn, but Dawn herself is now human and doesn't know she's not.

Wow, I didn't remember they reveal all this already. The day Glory is introduced we find out who Dawn is. So soon!

Buffy goes home. She goes to talk to Dawn, apologizes for the confrontation from before and treats her like a sister she loves.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Out of My Mind.

episode 82.
airdate: 17 Oct 2000.

Buffy is hunting in the cemetery. Riley is too, trying to help, horning in on her fun. Spike is there too, also fighting. She's annoyed by both of them.

Willow and Buffy are having an academic debate at school the next morning and Willow is all excited about it. Buffy is working hard at slaying and school. Getting her shit together. Giles has made a really great training area behind the magic shop for Buffy. I'm kind of jealous of where she is at just this exact moment in time, though I know it won't last. She's young, studious, fit, has the greatest friends ever...an annoying bf and sis, but you know...not everything can be perfect. It's just this moment in time that everything is right for Buffy. I've paused the episode just to soak it in for a sec. Trying not to focus on what's to come.

.........

Ok, I can't put it off anymore. Let's go. Harmony finds Spike. She thinks Buffy is after her because she tried to kill her. They decide to kill Buffy if Spike does the thinking. Joyce collapses. And it starts...*deep breath, Stephanie*. Dawn listens to everyone's heart and Riley's is super-fast. They're already in the hospital so they get him checked out. The doctors think he should stay, but he refuses. He's been all cracked-out lately. Buffy takes advantage of the fact that the Initiative is probably spying on Riley all the time by picking up his phone and saying that he needs their help into the receiver. It works.

"All it means is that he's way stronger than he ought to be and feelin' no pain...his heart can't take it." says an Initiative dude to Buffy. She needs to get him there to them, but he's hiding. Buffy bribes Spike to go find Riley and she's super mean to him, slapping him and stuff. Uncalled for, really. I mean, I guess we're still not supposed to trust or like him. As she told him where to take Riley once he finds him (the doctor to fix him) he takes Harmony to hold him at crossbow-point to get the doctor to take the chip out of Spike's head.

Buffy finds Riley and he explains that he doesn't want to lose his super-strength. He's worried about what they'll do to him. "Best-case scenario: they turn me into Joe Normal." He knows that being normal isn't enough for Buffy. He's right, but Buffy doesn't know it yet. Sarah Michelle Gellar is so good at the wide-eyed-tears-that-don't-surpass-the-waterline thing. Buffy Speech. She convinces him to go. The doctor announces the chip is "out", then Buffy arrives with Riley. Spike decides this is the time to kill Buffy. Riley fights Harmony and Spike still can't hurt anyone because the doctor didn't really take the chip out. Spike and Harmony run away. Spike is going on and on about Buffy. They're going to reveal his crush on her soon. Maybe this episode? There's still 5 minutes left.

Yep. The dream. Lovesick Spike is the best!!

Du NU...du nu du NUUUUUU.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Replacement.

episode 81.
airdate: 10 Oct 2000.

This is an episode I dread because I don't like suave Xander. He creeps me out, plus I think a lot of the time suave Xander was played by Nicholas Brendan's real twin brother and something is just so creepy about twins, man.

Xander is looking for an apartment because of his drunk yell-y parents. A blacklight-crackle-faced demon is after Buffy and hits Xander with his sceptor-thing, thus splitting Xander into two parts, one suave and one goofy. The idea was to hit the Slayer and split her into a weak and a strong Buffy, so the weak one could be more easily defeated, thus killing them both. Goofy Xander is all suspicious of Suave Xander, following him around and stuff. Suave Xander gets a promotion, gets the apartment, and makes up with Anya (she was mad at him before for not getting the apartment--before the split). Willow's hair is so cute all short and flippy. Goofy Xander catches up with Willow while Suave Xander gets to Giles, Riley, and Buffy. They each think they have the right one, and they do, of course, but they don't know that yet.

Michael is saying he wishes he could be split into his good and bad parts so he could get rid of all the self-doubt, etc. He's saying this as Goofy Xander is lamenting that the other Xander is living his life better than he is and maybe he should just let him have it. Willow is comforting him. I told Michael I would want to be married to the goofy version of him. The point of all of this is that you can't get rid of all the "bad" parts of yourself. The best version of you is the WHOLE version of you.

The confrontation occurs in the apartment with Anya, each trying to convince her that they're the real Xander. Giles figures out that they're both Xander. Buffy catches up to the Xanders and explains the thing to them. Then the demon comes in to finish his goal of splitting Buffy. She beats him up real quick.

They start acting more like regular Xander the longer they're together. Giles: Clearly, he's a bad influence on himself. Willow ends the spell. The last scene is everyone helping Xander pack up the basement and Riley tells Xander how much he's in love with Buffy. Then says, "But she doesn't love me." Poor Riley. He just doesn't fit with this show. It makes total sense that Buffy would attempt to date a normal guy after Angel, but she's just not supposed to be with a normal guy. Riley is a good guy and I'm totally over hating him, but he's not interesting enough for Buffy. Not quirky or broody enough. She doesn't need normal. She needs intense. This is why Xander is perfect. He's got the sweetness, the take charge save-the-worldness (the intention is there, even if he doesn't have the brute force), and the goofy nerdiness.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Real Me.

episode 80.
airdate: 3 Oct 2000.

This episode came out on my 18th birthday! Who was the "real me" back then? Well, I was a willing doormat girlfriend. A senior in high school. My BFF had recently dropped out. I was a little pudgy, mostly antisocial, angry for the first time in my life, newly vegetarian...I can safely state that I feel a lot better about life now, 12.5 years later. Yeay! On with the episode...

Giles is guiding Buffy on some meditation/fighting techniques. It's all calm and peaceful and Buffy is balancing on one hand until Dawn knocks some crystals over. Remember, this is only the second shot with Dawn and nothing has yet been explained except that Buffy acts annoyed with her and we know they are sisters somehow. Dawn is all angsty writing in her diary. If this were today, she'd be all angsty writing in her blog and getting tons of reinforcement online from peers that are also all angsty writing in their blogs. In this way, I think things have improved...of course teenagers were being angsty on LiveJournal (I was a teenager being angsty on LiveJournal) already back in 2000. How many times can I write the word angsty which Blogger doesn't think is a word so it's all dotty-underlined in red, alerting me to the number of times I've used it: 6, in case you were wondering...

Anyway, I think the 14-year-old Dawns of today may, hopefully, have the opportunity to let out some of that angst on Tumblr and stuff...and feel less alone, etc. Giles doesn't like driving an automatic; "I loathe this sitting here, not contributing!" I feel the same way, Giles. That's why I always go with a manual.

Everyone is annoyed with, or pretty much ignores, Dawn except Tara and Willow. They're on their way to the Magic Box (magic shop) when they find it dark and the shopkeeper is dead inside. A crazy guy outside the shop tells Dawn she doesn't "belong here". Giles is all interested in the shop because of the "profit margins". A unicorn valued at 12.95 is missing from a case and Giles says, "What kind of an unholy creatures fancies cheap, tasteless statuary?"

Harmony. She's planning to kill Buffy with her "minions", a bunch of clueless vampires. They're the ones that robbed the magic shop and killed the shopkeeper for Harmony.

Dawn has a crush on Xander...wonder if Joss knew at this point that they would be together later in the comics. If so, ew. Willow is moving in with Tara...already? Tramp. Tara is explaining how she feels like an outsider, empathizes with Dawn. Buffy is jealous of Dawn, Dawn is jealous of Buffy. Harmony is so pretty. Xander and Harmony fight when Dawn accidentally invites her in.

"Real Me" is primarily about Dawn who is not real, but also Harmony who is not totally real as a vampire and also Buffy who is not totally real because she's a Slayer. Or something. Maybe? A play on a few of the females' mystical nature. Dawn gets herself kidnapped after throwing a fit and going outside. Buffy goes to beat up Spike for information, maybe the first time she's done that since the chip. Ooh, they upped the budget on vampire dustings. Buffy uses a unicorn horn to slay, which was fun.

Giles buys the magic shop. Buffy: How bored were you last year? Giles: I watched "Passions" with Spike...let us never speak of it.

Commentary (by David Fury and David Grossman) notes added 5.12.13: They wrote Dawn younger than she is because she was originally going to be 9. It totally explains he supreme annoyingness, but I wish they would have fixed that aspect of the writing. They just said they can't hear the audio of what they're watching. See? that's how it should be for the viewers too! This is a pretty boring commentary. They don't remember much about many of the scenes, etc. Ugh, they ALWAYS talk about how Sarah doesn't like to laugh onscreen. She does it well in the scene in this episode, but it undermines her performance to hear the writers and directors talking about her reluctance to do it CONSTANTLY. 

I never realized that all of the top three (Xander, Willow, and actually Buffy) are only children. This commentary is borrrrrrring. They're sometimes just being completely silent and alternating between that and explaining plot points as they're trying to guess what's going on because they don't remember the episode at all, apparently. Should I cut out now? Yeah, I think so. Onward to season 4!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy vs. Dracula.

Episode 1 of season 5; 79 overall.
airdate: 26 Sept 2000.

If I remember this episode right, it's pretty cheesy...fluffy.

Buffy already has to get up in the middle of the night to kill things in order to sleep through the night next to boring Riley...oops.

There's a beach scene...possibly the only one ever. I guess I get why they had to address the Dracula issue, but it seems a little like Joss might have been humoring one of the writers...it doesn't really fit into the narrative. Giles is doing a lot of archiving and labeling things. He tells Willow, in secret, that he's planning to leave Sunnydale. Going back to England. He's trying to make sure they have everything they need (his books archived into the computer, etc) for when he leaves. It kinda hurts in the chest area thinking about Giles leaving.

Buffy is sort of obsessed with slaying right now. Dracula shows himself. He's very Anne Rice: pale, pretty, long hair, alluring. I love that Buffy always uses their summers off as real time. It's always actually been as long in their world as it was in ours. So, they've had a summer off school, etc. Buffy tries to slay Dracula but he disappears in vapor, to reappear and then disappear again as a bat. When they're telling Giles, Anya, and Tara back at Giles' they're all starstruck and the girls all think he's sexy.

Ok, maybe the reason for the weird Dracula episode is to show that the world is slightly off as a precursor to Dawn who'll show at the end of the episode. Dracula can also, apparently, turn into a wolf. He shows himself alone to Xander in order to bewitch him into servitude, his "eyes and ears in daylight", with the promise of becoming immortal. Odd. Poor Xand-y.

Riley ends up in Spike's crypt for some reason...oh, he wants info on Dracula. Apparently, they're old foes and Spike laments that Dracula's fame outed the vampirekind secrets. Riley is being all threatening to Spike. He's obviously very insecure after no longer being Initiative dude whilst Buffy is still his "super honey".

Dracula enters Buffy's bedroom and bewitches her. He calls her "kindred", a "creature whose darkness rivals" his own. He actually is really pretty. He bites Buffy and it's all sexy and she has to wear a scarf the next day. It's nice seeing her in her old room. Xander is all twitchy and hilarious: "like any of that is enough to fight the Dark Master...bater." Xander eats a spider. Riley pulls off the scarf, outing her to everyone. She's "under the thrall of the Dark Prince". They decide Buffy can't be alone with him so she's going to stay with Xander-the-bug-eater while Willow and Tara do a protection spell at Joyce's house (it turns out she was the one that invited him in for coffee in the first place). Xander takes her to Dracula of course, then Giles and Riley break in. Buffy is having trouble fighting Dracula. She's fighting the "thrall". Dracula is talking a lot of sexy at Buffy about what her "body is capable of" etc. Dracula offers her his blood...

Riley finds out about Xander and knocks him out. Giles falls into the "chick pit" aka Dracula's three sisters. They seduce him. Dracula convinces Buffy to drink. She really does want to. He says the thing Tara said to her in the dream: "You think you know what's to come...what you are. You haven't even begun." She has a vision while she's drinking of the First Slayer and other stuff. She finds her strength after the blood drinking and fights him. Riley rescues Giles. He tries to go back and he says, "No sir. No more chick pit for you." Cute.

They catch up to Buffy after she's staked him. Xander makes a cute speech about how he's sick of being everybody's "buttmonkey". Dracula re-solidifies, Buffy stakes him again, he tries to reassemble again...she says, "I'm standing right here!" and he stops. So she hasn't bested him. He's still in the world, but this makes him decide to leave her alone.

Giles tries to tell Buffy he's going to leave but she tells him she wants to train with him. She wants him to be her Watcher again, because she's questioning her identity. She tells him she's been patrolling ("hunting") a lot lately. She wants to know more about her power, her darkness, the origins of her Slayerness, etc. She tells him she needs him, to be her Watcher again. It's so sweet. He's so touched.

Then, Dawn.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Restless.

episode 78.
airdate: 23 May 2000.

In the month of April I will be FINISHING this Buffy project. I'm doing April's Camp NaNoWriMo and that's my goal. So there's my public announcement so that I will stick to it, damnit! Ok, here we go with the last episode of season 4 so that I can watch/blog seasons 5, 6, AND 7 in the next 30 days. Woo!

Riley is going away for the episode and they're all at Joyce's house. They're all cuddling in to watch videos and they fall asleep before the FBI warning is over.

We enter Willow's dreams. Tara is there and Willow is painting a spell on her back. Tara is telling her she doesn't know everything about her and that "they'll find out" about Willow. Willow looks out the window at a desert, then suddenly she's in school and Oz and Xander are there. They might be in the high school. Harmony is suddenly there and Willow is about to star in a play. Joss really makes it feel like a dream. Nothing makes sense and the transition between settings is exactly how it is in dreams (like walking into a completely different world like walking into another room or just appearing elsewhere with no transition whatsoever). The threads that hold everyone's dreams together are an elusive yet pursuing tribal chick and a weird dude that's obsessed with cheese. Suddenly Willow is in the outfit she was wearing in episode one after Buffy rips off her "costume" (the way she dresses now). The pursuing tribal chick catches up to her and suffocates her.

Now Xander's dream shows him watching "Apocalypse Now" with everyone. Joyce attempts to seduce him. Xander's dream reminds me the most of my dreams because when he opens the door of Joyce's bathroom he ends up in his basement and then he's in a playground with Giles and Spike swinging on a set. Anya finds she can steer by "gesturing emphatically" in the ice cream truck. I think about that all the time. Xander keeps ending up back in the basement. Then he ends up in the school and Giles tries to tell him how to solve the situation, but everyone starts talking in French...bad dubbed French. Then he's in "Apocalypse Now". Principal Snyder is there. Even in their dreams though, they're all connected and they're figuring out how to fight it as the "creature" pursues them in each of their dreams. Perhaps this is because they're still connected via the conjoining spell they used to defeat Adam. In the end of Xander's dream his dad is yelling at him from upstairs. "That's not the way out." The tribal chick rips out his heart.

Now we're in Giles' dream. Olivia is with he and Buffy in a carnival and Buffy is acting like a 5-yr old. Spike is posing for a photo shoot in his crypt. Olivia is pregnant and crying. Everyone is doing research in the Bronze. The dreams are sequential, so Willow and Xander are still dying: "sucking chest wound here". Everyone is looking to Giles for help, so he sings about it. So cute. He does figure it out, too, mostly. "I know who you are and I can defeat you..." She still scalps him as he says, "you never had a Watcher." So we know she was a Slayer.

And she's killing them in the ways they were contributing to the conjoining spell. Willow was Spirit, so that's why she's being suffocated. Xander is Heart, and now he doesn't have one. And Giles is brain, but she cut it out. She's taking away the things they brought to the union.

Now for Buffy's dream. She's in her childhood bedroom with Tara staring at her unmade bed. "Didn't Faith and I just make this bed?" Tara says, "You think you know what's to come. What you are. You haven't even begun." after showing her the "Manus" tarot card. She is Hands and Feet in the spell. Suddenly the bed is made. Buffy knows she needs to find them. As she leaves the room Tara says, "Be back before Dawn." Joyce is living in the walls of the school. This reminds me of a dream I have had too. She sees Riley and he's talking about world domination ("filing things, giving things names") with Adam as a human. Buffy washes her face with clay. She also had clay on her face in Giles' dream. Riley keeps calling her a "killer". Buffy is in the desert and the Israeli music is really peaceful and pretty. Tara speaks for the primal Slayer. The First Slayer. She tells her she's supposed to be alone. I'm not sure if the First Slayer is trying to kill Buffy necessarily, or just her friends...oh, wait, now she's stabbing her. Buffy tells her she's ignoring her until she goes away, then they all wake up. How cool is that?

They all talk about what happened: "the spirit of the first Slayer tried to kill us all in our dreams". Joyce says, "Oh, you guys want hot chocolate?"

COMMENTARY: I'm going to watch the commentary now because that is a DAMN good episode.

Willow's dream: Turns out what Willow was writing on Tara's back was a love poem by Sappho. When Willow finds Tara in between the red curtains that's a vaginal reference. Totally should have gotten that!

Xander's dream: All roads lead to his basement because of the sense of failure/something dangerous there. Joss is talking about the images having resonance by themselves. That is the coolest part of this episode. There's so much space with the music and the long shots/images. Xander talking about being a conquistador/comfortador...Joss talks about this being because Xander needs comfort/love in a way that he never got growing up. He also talks about when everyone is speaking French this is because he feels stuck while everyone else is moving on with their lives. Whoa. That's cool. Didn't get that either. I'm so slow.

Giles' dream: Giles can't decide if he wants to have his own life or be a mentor. Does he want to be a rock star or a Watcher?

Buffy's dream: Tara is her spirit guide. Riley can't handle when Buffy becomes primal (when she puts the mud on her face). Buffy defies the notion of climax and defies the notion of the tragic tale of the Slayer. When you stop taking a dream seriously, you wake up.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Primeval.

Episode 77.
airdate: 16 May 2000.

Buffy can't find Riley because he's with Adam. Adam explains to Riley that he has a chip too and Adam has activated it. He seems to be relatively under Adam's physical control. He speaks when Adam tells him to speak and sits when Adam tells him to sit. I'm trying not to dislike Riley this time, I really am, and it's (mostly) working, but he is SUCH the mindless tool sometimes, man. Adam is telling Riley they're "brothers" and stuff. Giles is hungover. Willow goes to get her laptop at his place and it's all awkward. Buffy is home alone. She feels isolated from her BFFs and picks up the phone, but doesn't call anyone. Instead she starts packing weapons. Xander is moping in bed. Anya comforts him in the blunt tactless way she knows how.

Buffy is caving-it, alone, in search of Adam. She finds his lair. He's not there. He's in the Initiative with Riley. Walsh is a reanimated corpse. So is that other authority/scientist-dude that was close with Walsh. And Forrest is reanimated too, only he has verbal skills, unlike the other two. Buffy finds Spike in Adam's lair. I should start calling my house my lair. Sounds so cool. Forrest is talking about how being a modified corpse is the best thing that ever happened to him. Walsh injects Riley with something. It's all very cryptic. Everyone (Xander, Willow, Buffy, and Giles) meets on campus: neutral territory. It comes out that Spike is the one that told them all the stuff. "Well, piffle, let's all move on" says Giles, and they agree, but they're still fractured. Buffy realizes the whole plan of the Initiative/Adam, somehow.

Spike is still whining about the chip, but Adam's still stalling. The Feisty Four are back at Giles' trying to find a way to defeat Adam.

"So, all we need is combo-Buffy. Her, with Slayer-strength, Giles' multilingual-know-how and Willow's witchy power." says Xander. And that's the ticket! Xander saves the day, again! They're going to do an "adjoining spell". They infiltrate the Initiative by repelling, since they can't use the elevators anymore without Buffy's retinal passwords and shit. Gives Willow and Buffy time to talk things out. They make up. Then there's a suuuuuuuuuper cute hug with Buffy, Willow, and Xander. Spike is whining about the chip again. Adam isn't going to follow through after all, so Spike tries to run. Forrest tries to kill him. Buffy is trying to tell the Initiative authorities what's up, but they're being all territorial and dumb and they try to hold Buffy/Willow/Xander/Giles hostage, but Buffy kicks their asses instead. All locks in the Initiative have been disengaged by Adam, except the exits. "Demon open house" as Xander observes. They have to fight their way to a quiet place for Xander/Giles/Willow to do their spell and Buffy to get to Adam. The zombies attack Buffy as she realizes Riley is under their control. Riley is visibly trying to help Buffy. He eventually cuts the chip out of his shoulder. Fighting fighting fighting. Riley is helping Buffy after removing the chip. He kills the zombies as Buffy escapes to find Adam.

Buffy and Adam fight. Adam has an assault rifle arm. The spell takes effect. Buffy gets all yellow-eyed and awesome. Gives me chills. Buffy is all-Neo-ing it up now. It's soooooo freaking awesome! She bicycle kicks Adam and rips out his heart as her eyes turn red. "You cannot even begin to grasp the source of our power." So freaking rad, man! Spike is killing demons. Everyone is exhausted. Man, that was cool. You have to watch it. The symbolism of Buffy only being able to defeat Adam through the literal combination of her with her friends is just freakin' precious, as per usual.

Commentary (by David Fury and James Contner) notes added 5.12.13: So far just explaining major plot points, but this is the culmination of the season (for all intents and purposes, though "Restless" is the actual last episode of the season), so I will stick out the commentary for at least half the episode, but if they remain boring, I will cut them loose because my time is too valuable. That's a joke; my time being valuable, not that I'll skip out on this commentary if it bores me. I'll give it twelve minutes...they're still just explaining the plot and minor details of shooting. 30 seconds...will you interest me, David and James? Nope.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Yoko Factor.

Episode 76.
airdate: 9 May 2000.

Last three episodes of the season. Let's do this, kids!

Spike and Adam are still ally-ing. Spike is trying to convey to Adam that Buffy is seriously efficient at eliminating "big bad"s. Adam decides that if Spike helps dislocate Buffy's friends from her, he can more effectively eliminate her. So, Spike is the Yoko Factor. And he's good at it too.

Apparently, B is in L.A. visiting Angel for some reason. I think it has something to do with Faith. Giles is singing "Freebird". Hot. Spike shows up. He knows where "files" are in the Initiative. He nurtures a bit of animosity between Giles and Buffy with subtle wordplay. Tells him she treats Giles "like a retired librarian". Giles is boozing it up as Spike tells him this. Riley goes to see Buffy. She looks exhausted. She's back from L.A. too, btw, and keeping secrets. It's officially her thing now, and forevermore. Spike makes up some stuff about Xander joining the Army and the others talking about it, in order to get him to think they're talking about him behind his back. The way he does it is so crafty, too. I would believe him. Buffy and Riley's former BFF are both investigating a cave and fighting when they run into Adam. Buffy tries to get Riley-BFF to leave, but he doesn't and he gets skewered, of course.

Giles is still drinking. Spike is doing his Yoko mojo with Tara and Willow. Macbooks used to look so silly with the upside-down apple. Angel is in town. He runs into Riley. Jealousy crap. Fighting ensues. Buffy comes home after her fight with Adam and she's wounded. Angel goes to see her. Riley shows up moments later and more jealousy follows. Riley acts all protective. Angel is sweet, and jealous, which is impossibly sweet. "Oh, and Riley? I don't like him." Then he leaves.

Then Buffy says something a lot of people should say when there's jealousy involved: "Have I ever given you any reason not to trust me?" Riley says, "no". She replies, "Then why with the crazy?" She tells Riley that Forrest (Riley-BFF's NAME!) is dead. Everyone is together at Giles'. They start fighting a bunch after all the resentment Spike nurtured that has been growing all season. I love Giles' apartment. It's so cozy and studious. That's (almost) exactly how I would live if I was Giles. And of course I secretly wish to be Giles. Tara and Anya hide in the bathroom while everyone is fighting. Buffy yells and then she says mean, hurtful things and then storms out.

The last shot is Riley showing up in Adam's cave. Adam tells him he's been waiting for him.

To be continued...

I am an Aspergirl, Part Three.

What I meant yesterday when I said I don't understand how career, marriage, children is ever a fulfilling life, what I meant was: For me, I don't get that these are goals. I mean, I get how a career is a goal, but I don't get how children and marriage are goals. I never dreamed of my wedding until I was engaged. I couldn't imagine children as a goal unless I was already with my lifepartner and making the decision then. I guess what I mean is that these aren't givens to me like they seem to be for NTs (neurotypical people). I didn't want to belittle someone who has the wife/kid/career thing and loves it. I love my husband and I love my furbabies (two dogs, a cat and a ferret) and I love maintaining a home. But I didn't have husband as goal before the one that became mine was around for YEARS. And I realize this is different  than the way most people feel.

Also, I looked up stuff on schizotypal personality disorder today. It seems like it shares a lot of traits/aspects with Asperger's. Both are eccentric personalities. Schizophrenia is a continuum like everything else and apparently it goes:
*mild schizo = schizoid
*moderate schizo = schizotypal
*severe schizo = schizophrenia

Some things that don't fit (for me) about schizotypal are: onset in adulthood (I'm pretty sure anyone that's ever known me can attest that I've always been weird), magical thinking (I like fantasy worlds, but I don't believe in magical things or have superstitious behavior, unless I'm very distressed and even then I know I'm doing it just to make myself feel better, not as a result of a belief), and I don't think everything in the world is about me (I think they call that delusional ideation or something like that) and I don't think I have wrong perceptions. I do have odd thinking and eccentric appearance and rituals and I am a loner, but I'm pretty sure my ideations are pretty sane...just weird.

Anyway, it doesn't ultimately matter what I'm labeled. I don't care what it's called, only that I can use a word to better understand myself and accept where I am more readily. I don't think disorders are detriments. I think awareness/acceptance of ALL people should be more widespread. If I can throw the word Asperger at someone and they all of a sudden GET something about me, I want to be able to use that resource, for the same reason that I announced my engagement on Facebook. Because I like shorthand. Because I've always had trouble explaining myself and any vocabulary I can use to "compulsively disclose information", I fucking will!