Despondency.

It's time I come out of the closet.

I suffer from depression. I've never been "diagnosed" with anything; I've always been a pretty accurate self-diagnoser. I believe some of it is linked to PTSD, but I've had symptoms my whole life and so have at least three of my female family members. What I mostly deal with is episodic depression, but it is cyclical and usually corresponds to the down-swing of my menstrual cycle (the one or two weeks after ovulation and preceding menstruation). I don't take drugs for this depression (again, self-diagnosis would suggest otherwise as I do imbibe caffeine, alcohol, etc of my own accord to indirectly treat my lows), but there are many things I do to distract myself during what can sometimes be up to two weeks out of my month.

And they are just that, distractions. Depression is not plinky-plunky music after taking a pill while the possible side-effects wash quickly over the screen ("in some extreme cases, using Happy Fun Ball can result in coma or death"). It's not like genital warts. It's like life. It's like anything in life. If you work out, you get to force yourself to do it for all eternity. If you want to eat right, you have to make good eating choices day after day. Slugging through the world when you're fucking sad can feel like that scene in "Melancholia" when Kirsten is dragging around all that murky crap behind her like a couture dress.

I've had a day like this today and I share it with you not because I want sympathy (in fact, don't feel sorry for me, it only makes me sadder) but because I know others feel it too and I believe it is ok to live with sadness. I function as well as I can day after day and this is unaided by pharmaceuticals (I don't even take birth control--I am the all-natural hippie y'all think I am in some ways) and some days this means a day of mad creativity and some days this means breathing in and out for the entire day.

I used to spend a lot of time wondering why and feeling bad about seemingly meaningless despair, but I've learned to be a little more forgiving. What's wrong with me? Brain chemistry. Hormones. Maybe I should eat better and exercise more (I should ALWAYS eat better and exercise more). There's always something that can be done, but sometimes it's difficult to do it. I've heard bipolar people say before that they'd rather ride out the depression in order to still take advantage of that mania at the other end, and though I don't consider myself bipolar, I do understand the sentiment. I'd rather be me enjoying the benefits of my creativity and warrior-like attitude two weeks out of the month and deal with feeling the opposite the other half of the time than to be levelly apathetic. I suppose, because I don't know any different.

I do know that I am a healthy human being and I do the best I can and I will continue to try to do the best I can, even when that means canceling plans and hiding in my bedroom watching a Bones marathon on Hulu (this blog is actually cutting into that, so I'll keep this short). I know a lot of people deal with a hopelessness I couldn't begin to comprehend. I still got dressed today, fed myself and my animals, and even went out in the sun a bit before it went down. I still consider myself a SURVIVOR in that "Run the World"-music-video way. This is the first time I'm admitting my depression publicly. So there it fucking is.

The Big Lebowski (1998).

ambience: 6
replayability: 7
characters: 7
dialogue: 7
music: 7

TOTAL: 34

I'm not sure I'll have a lot to say about this movie other than, "Huh hu, huh hu, I love that line." or "I still say that all the time"... I haven't seen this movie in a long while, but it used to be the first film I watched in a new apartment while I was unpacking my stuff to get cozy in the new space (along with "Mallrats" and "Breakfast Club") and I imagine I will do so again...

I get it..."The Dude" is like the "Tumbling Tumbleweed". A thing out of place in the "City of Angels". There's a new book out about "The Dude" cowritten by Jeff Bridges and a Zen Master. The premise is something about how the character of "His Dudeness" relates to a concept in Buddhism...maybe the Bodhisattva of laziness? I don't know; I haven't read it yet. Again, I like a movie that has space built within it...a movie wherein not much happens plot-wise. Something simple and airy; that's my bag.

How will I keep myself from transcribing all the quotes from this movie that have become part of the pop culture language amongst myself and my peers. "You're entering a World of Pain, man!" "You're out of your element, Donny." "You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole." "This aggression will not stand, man."

Michael wants to be Jesus for Halloween this year. That outfit might be hard to find. I wonder if bowling polyester outfits can be found in any color. bowlingoutfits.com?

This has been an ennui day...I tend to call this state I'm in "hopeless bleak despair" though it's not really that bad...I'm being dramatic. Anyway, I'm going to score this thing and just enjoy the rest. Happy Monday, all.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004).

I think you know within the first 5 seconds whether or not this movie is for you. The opening credits are phenomenal. They really manage to get you geared up for the elementary-school-in-the-'80s-miasma of the movie. Somehow the infinite coolness of Jack White can't even undercut the current of nerd-setting you're about to be immersed within for the next 90 minutes. I'm always reluctant to start one of my favorite movies, like the time between viewings somehow negates my positive feelings for the film, even though it never works out like I fear it will. Already, I'm seriously on board and worrying that my tornado-damaged (it looks REALLY gnarly and this is the first time I've attempted to watch it since that awful day) copy of "Napoleon Dynamite" won't make it the full running time and I'll have to drive to Family Video to rent it or *gasp* spend the $9.99 on Amazon to purchase the digital version. I really don't want to do that when I know it will be $5 at Vintage Stock tomorrow, but I probably won't be able to resist the siren-call of the dance scene at the end for another 16 hours, so everyone hold your breath and hope that my spit-and-rubbing-on-pants-disc-cleaning trick worked like it's supposed to...

What's so brilliant about this movie is the space built into it. The (is it Idaho?) landscape is lush but realistic, the sound design is sparse but feels like the zen of youth, and who films the inside of buses anymore? since "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" anyway? Fucking fantastic!

"What are you going to do today, Napoleon?"
"Whatever I feel like I want to do....gawd!"

I used to begin mixes with this sound bite. Now I think it's my notification sound when I have a calendar alert on my phone...gives me that little moment of rebellion before I decide to do what the iPhone tells me to do.

I love that Napoleon is all clandestine about throwing the action figure out the bus window, as if anyone would care that he's doing something so ridiculous. Tetherball is stupid, everyone knows that. Awkward humor is pretty much the only humor I get and regularly enjoy. This movie was made for me. So priceless that he puts his tater tots in the pocket of his pants.

Once, in high school, I was really nervous to go out with a cute boy. He asked me to watch a Pokemon movie with him at the cheap theatre and we were both super awkward and decided to meet there. When we got there we found that the movie wasn't showing anymore and instead of deciding to watch something else or do something else, we both just got in our cars and left without hanging out at all. So weird. That's what the moment where Napoleon slams his locker-door shut and runs away after giving Deb her craft-stuff back reminds me of...so funny and so sad.

I also relate to the fact that Napoleon always takes the phone into the other room even though he's having the most mundane conversation ever. I do that too. I feel like I can't talk on the phone if I can't go into a separate room and shut the door.

Napoleon looks pretty hot in his suit. I'd totally clumsily slow-dance with him. I know the kids in this movie are obviously teenagers, but the ambience reminds me of my elementary school, probably because the era the movie seems to be set would be about the time I was in 5th grade; plus this was THE most unpopular time of my life. I'm really having a flashback here, apparently. I might as well go with it: so, in the last entry about "Moulin Rouge" I described my penchant for opera-singing-show-and-tell. I also farted frequently in class, asked out, and subsequently got turned down by, four different boys (in the having-a-friend-do-it-for-me or via "Do you like me, Yes or No" note way, of course), and sucked at all sports forever--even tetherball. I had two or three friends, at most, and girls were mean to me of course, but hey, such is life. If you don't go through stupid humiliation and embarrassment in school, when will you create the character to become cool later in life?

I'm going to have to start drinking things like Napoleon drinks his Gatorade. He does it like he's a super-athlete, like a dance warrior. Love it.

Napoleon dancing for Pedro's "skit" is one of my favorite moments in a movie ever. EVER. I get all giddy when I see it...it's coming up!! I think the important thing to remember in life, the thing maybe this movie didn't mean to convey, but does for me, is that it's better to do what you love awkwardly than to fit in quietly. Be a Napoleon and not a Summer. Still an awesome movie.

ambience: 6
characters: 7
replayability: 8
dialogue: 7
music: 8

TOTAL: 36

Moulin Rouge (2001).

I used to be OBSESSED with this movie. It came out the year I graduated (I think in June, so RIGHT after) high school. I saw it in the theatre almost as many times as I saw "The Matrix". I don't have a head for statistics, so I can't recall how many times, but I'd say at least 5 and that's a BIG deal for me to pay for a freakin' movie 5 times! I have avoided it for years, thinking that maybe this is one of those movies that should be left in the past. Today, I break the silence and we shall see if I am still in love with this movie. I did listen to "Bolero", the song played during the ending credits in the car on the way to Springfield the other night and it still transports me back to the second or third time I saw this movie in the theatre wherein my brother Sagan and I danced up by the screen theatrically. It was one of the most gleefully-free moments of my life (I have had a lot of wonderful moments like this--I can't understate the value of a friend who can abandon social mores long enough to prance off to have a moment with me, dancing, skipping, laughing. If you have been one of those friends to me, I will never forget you.).

Anyway, at the start of this movie I have no idea if what whisked me away to a happy place in this movie was merely the visuals (elephant houses, red hair, and corsets, oh my!), the music, or maybe just the overall Bohemian spirit of the thing. My aunt Diana says the plot of this movie directly mirrors the plot of the opera "La Traviata" and she was the star of this opera when I was in 1st grade, so she should know. I also had an immediate obsession with that opera when I first saw it in 1988. I even had an "opera" party and invited my entire 1st grade class after a very unskilled show-and-tell performance from "La Traviata": as you can imagine, no one got me then and only two people showed up to the party (friends for life, Sarah Rosenberg and Nicole Anderson!). This movie usually gets me all emotional...I'll stop stalling and start the damn thing...

Ok, within the first five minutes I know I will still fall in love with this movie. If only Nicole Kidman were a drag queen. Whew! I still get chills and tears in my eyes when Ewan first opens his mouth to sing "The hills are alive with the sound of music." Why don't they let him sing more in movies? Yum. So perfect that Kylie Minogue is the green faery. Welled up again at the presentation of Satine. I don't even normally care for Nicole Kidman, but I find her divine in this movie (except for all the squealing and flittering about...oh god, I forgot about all that weirdness).

I still want that elephant. Nicole's wig is so good. Jim Broadbent is just spectacular in this. I love how creepy he is doing "Like a Virgin".

Wow, ok, so I've written two measly paragraphs since I started watching the movie. I must be really sucked in...I'm at the "Roxanne" part. The music is so well-placed in this movie: in fact, all the editing, the timing of this film is just stupendous. It yanks at every emotional string within me exactly when it's supposed to. Baz is playing me like an instrument, making me cry every time he says, "Cry, bitch!" Using Queen and Nirvana against me in a cruel emotional game!

"Play the game, play the game, play the game....!!"

"Hindi Sad Diamonds" is, as far as I can remember, my first exposure to Indian-inspired music and it was my favorite in the movie. I used to play it over and over, along with "Bolero" (a song I've made up my own ballets to, dozens of times). The movie is nearing the end and I need room to sob, so I shall total and end this blog...

ambience: 8
characters: 7.6
music: 8
dialogue: 6
replayability: 6

TOTAL: 35.6

Best in Show (2000).

Just got done watching "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" for the first time since it came out in 2001 and man, I didn't get it the first viewing, but today...wow! That is just a phenomenal movie about self-acceptance and looking for validation in the wrong places and wow, it really effected me.

"Best in Show" is my palette-cleanser after the heaviness of "Hedwig...". Something just beautifully hilarious. I will laugh until I cry watching this movie. Christopher Guest is hit or miss with me. I wasn't totally in on "A Mighty Wind" or "Waiting for Guffman", but "Best in Show" kills me. I suppose I relate, because I spend most of my time with animals. I talk for my animals, I wonder what they're thinking, and I'm just as crazy as these wacka-do's, and this movie just SLAYS me. I love all the characters.

I love mockumentaries and this one is the ultimate for me, because I can completely believe that these people are for real. I'm barely 15 minutes into the movie and I've already laughed to the point of tears twice. The mundanity of life amuses me to no end. I love awkward comedy more than any other kind of comedy.

"If you get tired, pull over. If you get hungry, eat somethin'." I think of that line every time I go on a road trip.

I love how the vibe from each couple is so different, and yet they're all versions of extreme human familiarity. I feel awkward and uncomfortable when I see the Terrier parents. I want to hang out with the Shih-Tzu parents. I'm laughing the entire time the Weimeraner parents are onscreen and its like watching bad reality TV when Rhapsody in White's parents are talking.

I love it when the Shih-Tzu boys are talking to the Terrier couple at the party the night before the show. The boys completely throw water on the awkwardness of the Terrier couple, I think because both couples have a promiscuous half but the contrast lies in the fact that the Shih-Tzu counterpart is comfortable with his partner's former life while the Terrier-parent-other-half is very insecure about his wife's past. If only more time had been spent with these four.

atmosphere: 8
characters: 9
music: 5 (really, not applicable--so I give it middle-score)
dialogue: 8
replayability: 9

total: 39

five ways to enjoy new music in an oldschool way.

In our digital-20teen-era, we often forget to sit down and truly let our music wash over us in the way that we did back in our more analog childhoods/adolescencies (is that the plural of adolescence? is now!). As the end of the year approaches, you might find yourself worn down by all the Christmas music and extra food-intake. Can’t think! Yams in the brain! What to listen to besides Bing Crosby (honey-voiced-perfection though he is) and that terrible Paul McCartney Christmas song? Thou shalt not fear; I’m here to help.

1. Five “disc” shuffle: Remember when you were a teenager settling in for an evening playing MarioKart after school and you didn’t want to listen to the annoying MarioKart noises, so you put five CDs in your boombox and changed the setting to “5-disc shuffle”? No? So often in our digital age, we shuffle our entire libraries--gigabytes of music, and while this can be a formidable way to rediscover your music collection, sometimes what you REALLY need is to shuffle your five current favorite albums. For this task, create a playlist with five albums in their entirety and then shuffle it. Takes you right back to 1996, doesn’t it?
2. Listen to a record: There’s something so deliciously chill about setting a needle on a record. From your comfy chair, read the lyrics in real time to the warm sound of the grooves on your LP. It truly is a divine experience and can feel like meditating to concentrate your entire brainspace to an album one side at a time. A really cool thing about LPs these days is that they often come with a code to download the mp3-version on your computer so you can have a warm and crackly record without sacrificing the ability to take it with you on your phone or iPod. Acquiring records is a great way to collect music you really love in a tangible form that’s still very relevant. As it’s often said by audiophiles, an LP delivers a truly singular sound, so invest in a record player if you don’t already have one.
3. Go for a drive: I know, I shouldn’t suggest wasting gas, but this is still a way that I like to enjoy my latest mixes. If your car gets great gas mileage, jump in it and drive, baby! Amble mindlessly via feet with music in your ears if you don’t have access to an Earth-friendly car. I find this is a great way to clear your head on a stressful day...just you and the music.
4. Block party playlist: Remember back in the days of radio (What, it still exists? Ok, fine.) when DJs used to play “Block Parties” consisting of three songs each of an artist? Create a playlist by choosing three songs randomly of your top five artists or use the “Three of a Kind” feature in the iOS app “Groove”. 
5. “Radio”: I put this word in quotes because I must confess I haven’t listened to the real-live radio in YEARS. I fear that it’s all Pitbull and Taylor Swift, so I steer clear all judgmental-like. Please correct me (mixtressrae@yahoo.com) if I’m wrong. That said, how I’m defining “radio” here is any playlist not compiled specifically by you such as Songza (app or songza.com), soma.fm (app or somafm.com), any other internet radio app/site, or even the ACTUAL radio, if there’s a station you enjoy in our area (seriously, if there’s something good on the radio and I’m missing it, email me). Letting a DJ pick out the tunes for you can be very enjoyable as long as you get to pick the genre you’re in the mood for at any given time. I’ve mentioned it before, but if you haven’t tried Songza, do it right now! You won’t regret it!

I hope everyone is enjoying our last days on Earth (just kidding--I don’t believe in Apocalypses unless they’re on Buffy the Vampire Slayer) with some great tunes.

High Fidelity (2000).

This is probably my favorite movie of all time (we'll see by the time I'm done rating these movies--the stack is dwindling). I love the book.

The only thing that could make the movie better would be if the music were more my taste, but the aura of High Fidelity is totally and completely perfect. I AM ROB GORDON. Well, I'm not as much of a pushover (and I hope I'm not as much of an asshole), but my music habits are very similar. The concept of "top five" leeches into my existence on a daily basis. I find it indispensable. It's so much more quintessential than a top 10. It forces you to commit to FIVE. Genius.

Perfect use of Jack Black, too.

Ok, this movie could also be better if a female was a main character and NOT just an object of Rob's affection. And if there were gay characters...I'll dock "atmosphere" a point for that. I dig that Rob puts on music before he even checks his messages when he gets home from work, a place wherein he listened to music throughout his entire workday.

I get goosebumps every time I watch the scene when Rob is reorganizing his record collection "autobiographically". That is so fucking ambitious and awe-inspiring. I'm boring and I do alphabetical then chronological within artist. Well I did do, before my CDs flew away. Now, iTunes organizes for me. The distinctly specific comfort Rob describes at reorganizing his record collection is no longer a comfort I get to enjoy. However, I am starting to collect vinyl, so perhaps someday I'll have a wall covered in floor-to-ceiling shelving full of vinyl. What I really want is mixtapes. I wonder if I could get friends and strangers to donate their mixtapes to me, since I only have like twenty of my originals. If you're reading this and you have old mixtapes gathering dust in your garage, email me (mixtressrae@yahoo.com). I will send you stamped self-addressed boxes for you to fill up and send me your beautiful old cassettes. Seriously.

Joan Cusack NEEDS to be in every one of John's movies. And vise versa. She is just a gem.

I want to live in Rob's apartment. It's so cozy and dark and full of personality. Like a little cave-like sanctuary. I will have that again one day.

This is one of the few movies that I still like the middle and end. I'm IN with this movie up until the end. Usually, plots blow their load in the first act, but not High Fidelity. And it doesn't end when you think it will...it doesn't end when they get back together. And I think that's awesome. And their relationship isn't this divine thing that fixes itself and ends up perfect. It's not crazy or terrible, just good. I love it. Real.

Rob doesn't even describe the "art of making a tape" until the end of the movie...love it. It truly feels like getting a glimpse of a real person's life instead of a neatly packaged plot which doesn't happen in life! I hate neatly packaged!

I love that Laura says no to Rob when he proposes to her. And I love that he explains the "other woman" as being a "fantasy". It's one of the only examples of a realistic relationship in film I have ever seen. I thought it was primarily the dialogue and Rob's relationship to music that drew me to this movie, but it's also Rob and Laura and all the genuineness between them. Y'all know I'm not a sappy girl; this is a love story I can get behind!


replayability: 10
character average: 9
atmosphere: 9
music: 8
dialogue: 10

TOTAL: 46

Top 5 Podcasts.

Top 5 Podcasts.

Today, I’m going to give you a little break from my weird tastes in music and share with you a different kind of aural pleasure, my weird tastes in podcasts. It surprises me how little of my friends and family are listening to podcasts, as they are extremely delightful little nuggets of people talking in your head that you can pretend are your friends. There’s a huge world of podcasting out there to every taste imaginable, so go out there and find something you love if none of my favorites interest you. 

Podcasts are the radio shows of our time. If you’re not much of a music-listener (first of all, what's wrong with you?), podcasts can get you through road trips, commutes, and those obsessive Thursdays cleaning the house. They are almost always free and available on iTunes or the websites for the particular podcasts you’re seeking. Here are my Top 5:

Nerdist (nerdist.com/podcasts or iTunes): This podcast is mostly comprised of interviews with celebrities. The host Chris Hardwick is the most engaging interviewer I’ve ever heard. He is open-minded and able to talk with his guests about anything they want to talk about and he seems to know EVERYONE in Hollywood. If you’re a nerd like he is, you can listen to a podcast with Brent Spiner, Liam Lynch or the Wachowskis. Comparatively, if you’re into more mainstream culture, he interviews Tom Hanks, Larry King, and Joan Rivers. 

Warnings: This podcast is full of joyous expletives and is typically upwards of an hour (sometimes even closer to two hours) long.

Further Listening: Check out the Nerdist website for more of their podcasts. There’s a whole host of weird topics and fun shows to listen to such as “Sex Nerd Sandra”, “Nerdist Writers’ Panel”, and several juicy comedy podcasts.

Pop Culture Happy Hour (npr.org or iTunes): This podcast contains a delightful group of well-informed NPR editors talking about all aspects of pop culture from the dark dungeons of bad reality TV to German Art Song (yes, really). They regularly do in-depth analyses without spoilers of new movies and end each episode with “What’s Making Us Happy This Week”. It’s a very positive, intelligent and entertaining half hour of weekly pop culture entertainment. You’ll like this if you work with me at the library (this show is highly-regarded by librarians, according to their Facebook page).

Further Listening: As you can imagine, NPR has a lot of well-respected podcasts. Simply go over to npr.org and explore.

Stuff You Should Know (howstuffworks.com or iTunes): It is widely agreed upon in Podcast Land that this is THE podcast to listen to, no matter who you are. Hosts Chuck and Josh delve into ALL SUBJECTS IMAGINABLE, while being humorous and freakin’ lovable! This is the podcast to listen to on a family road trip across country, because I can almost guarantee everyone will love Chuck and Josh as much as I do. Seriously, if you listen to ONE of these podcasts, choose this one.

Further Listening: howstuffworks.com has a plethora of informative podcasts such as “Stuff You Missed in History Class”, “Stuff to Blow Your Mind”, “Tech Stuff”, etc. They’re all very accessible (unlike NPR, which I find to be a little snotty at times) and informative. 

Stuff Mom Never Told You (howstuffworks.com or iTunes): Another from the How Stuff Works conglomerate, this podcast deals mostly in feminist topics and issues that are more women-centric. These two feisty females (Molly and Cristen) are just as informed and almost as lovable as Chuck and Josh.

Sound Opinions (soundopinions.org or iTunes): Hosts Greg and Jim (longtime Chicago radio heavyweights--they’ve written books and everything) discuss new music, old music, interview bands, and even have occasional exclusive performances from the artists they interview. Their tastes are varied and they truly try to cover all genres, but their lean is heavy on soul. Their tastes rarely match my own, but I do find new music from this podcast often.

*Honorable Mention: Feast of Fun (feastoffun.com or iTunes): This is a podcast I’ve just started listening to, but I think it will become one of my favorites. Two sassy gay boys interview pop culture icons. They have a HUGE number of drag queens on their show, and for those of you that know me you know that I’m OBSESSED with drag right now, so this podcast is constantly in my ears this fall. Incredible amounts of fun here, if you’re into campy comedy and not taking life too seriously.

Warnings: Lots of debauchery on these podcasts (cursing, sex-talk, etc). If you find love in this podcast, you’ll have to subscribe for a fee to get all the episodes.

If any of you know of an awesome podcast that should be on this list, let me know (mixtressrae@yahoo.com). Ooh, better yet, if you want to start a podcast with me about music, drag queens, and/or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, hit me up for sure!

In celebration of All Hallow’s Eve (yes, yes, weeks ago, but as ShAaron Needles says, "Every day is Halloween, ghouls!"), I want to talk a bit about a new(ish--the term was coined in 2009) genre of music that embodies the essence of the dark and spooky fall months.  It’s called “Witch House”.  When you boil this genre down to its “simplest terms and most convenient definitions” it is both a brain, a prom queen...wait, that’s The Breakfast Club...

Put simply, Witch House is the newest iteration of goth music.  The ethereal miasma of Ambient Dream Pop meets the electro-industry of Dark Noise.  It is simultaneously futuristic and covered in cob webs.   

“The melodies are hooky and sweet, but each track has a throbbing undercurrent of menace that pulls you in like a riptide. It's hard to pinpoint exactly from where this pervading element of darkness springs...” -- Lindsay Zoladz from pitchfork.com

The above quote was in description of Witch House’s most eminent artist’s debut, Grimes’ Geidi Primes, but is also indicative of the entire genre, in my opinion.  This music can set the stage for a haunted night in PeaceChurch cemetery, or put you to bed at night if you’re already a spooky girl like me.  It is truly fascinating to allow yourself to be entombed in the dichotic soundscapes, the surreal beauty of the almost angelic vocals mixed disjointedly with the torrid doom that seems always on the precipice of descending upon you with alarming ferocity.  It tricks you into falling in love with the witches and ghosts living within the whorls of your grey matter.  I can’t get enough of this genre.  I’ve been spiraling down the rabbit hole since I first discovered Grimes early in the year and discovered more related artists through a fabulous station/playlist on songza.com called “Haunted House”.  Start here if you’re remotely intrigued with this genre.

Here are a few artists that fall within the witchy distinction that I recommend (all can be found on Spotify):

Grimes*

Purity Ring*

Glasser

Blouse 

Fever Ray

Crystal Castles

oOoOO

White Ring

Modern Witch

There isn’t enough of this music!  If you know of any additional artists (or if you already love this genre) within the murky cemeteries of Witch House, please let me know: mixtressrae@yahoo.com

*Available at the Joplin Public Library for checkout!

The Matrix (1999)

I never noticed Cypher was betraying them from the beginning until this watching. I really don't pay that much attention to movies, apparently. I usually just sit back and enjoy the pretty words/pictures. It's going to be difficult for me to give this movie any less than tens across the board because every shot is meticulously beautiful. The only complaint I have is that it's a typical hero/Christ story and that the "One" is male. If Joss Whedon had written the screenplay with the Wachowskis, this movie would be fucking unstoppable.

Agent Smith is perfect. How is Hugo Weaving not the biggest star ever? I mean, he lipsyncs better than most drag queens I've seen in person, has the vocal cadence of I don't know--God?, and the versatility of a contortionist. He's pretty much my favorite character in these movies. Ugh, I hate Morpheus, though. He's soooo tiresome. Fucking believers, man! What's their deal? And he's SUCH a drama queen. He's so patronizing and cryptic and self-righteous. Of course, I didn't feel this at first before I knew what was going on with this movie. So, ok, obviously, he's the audience surrogate and I need to let him do his dramatic thing and shut up about it already.

I think the pills are really just DayQuil and NyQuil. I've always loved the idea of questioning reality. I'm very much a pluralist in the way that I believe that we are only as good as our perceptions and our perceptions cannot...wait, I have to watch Neo unplug...our perceptions cannot be assured as reality. We can never see through someone else's eyes, truly. That's the true true. Sorry, I know...

So, was the pill just a symbol? No, it made him hallucinate...ok, so it loosened his perceptions of what he thought of as "reality". I wonder if fat people in the Matrix are really just people with bad self-esteem, because if everyone is really just a "battery" no one would be overweight. So, is no one overweight IN the Matrix?

Morpheus: Your appearance now is what we call residual self-image: the mental projection of your digital self.

God, I love that line! What would be the mental projection of YOUR digital self?

I don't really mind the doofus-ness of Keanu Reeves. Never have. Yes, I find him attractive. He's pale, skinny and dark-haired. That's my type. But, I don't mind his daftness simply because some of us are like this, but aren't actually daft. I choose to believe Keanu is this type.

Ok, so essentially Morpheus speaks in zen koans. I suppose I see his purpose, but I still respect a direct-talker.

I heart the Oracle! So, when the Oracle tells Neo he isn't the one, that he has "the gift, but it looks like you're waiting for something" this supports my theory that everyone is "The One", we just haven't, most of us, self-actualized yet. I hope that was an intended message by the Wachowskis, because I like it!

How many times have you handed someone a cookie and said those famous "right as rain" words? I've said it dozens! Ok, I'm calling it. Scores below. It's almost midnight and this might be the only "winter" night we have this year (if last winter is any indication) so I'm going to cuddle up without the computer for the movie's last half hour.


replayability: 8
music: 10
character average: 7.3
atmosphere: 8
dialogue: 7

TOTAL: 40.33