Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Into the Woods.

episode 87.
airdate: 19 Dec 2000.

Continuation from the last shot of the last episode...wheeling Joyce into operation. Waiting room. Riley, Xander, Dawn, Giles, everyone is with Buffy. The operation is taking a long time, I guess.

They got the whole tumor! Yeay! Everyone hugs, including almost Giles and Xander.

Riley and Buffy are having a romantic evening. Buffy is really trying to make him feel wanted. He still isn't satisfied, however, and sneaks out afterwards to get his vamp-fix. Spike follows him, because he's lurking outside, as per usual.  Spike sneaks into Buffy's house the next night while she's in bed and says he needs to show her something. He leads her to the dank gross house Riley is in with the vampires. The whole place is covered with humans being sucked on by vampires. The place is so gross. And there he is, topless with a vampire on his arm. She runs out. Spike was all excited to let her know that Riley was cheating, but then when he sees her face, so upset, he feels bad. I don't think he was expecting that.

Riley goes home but the Initiative boys are there (except they're Army now), making him an offer for a job in Belize. "Maybe civilian life is working out for you...maybe not." He has until midnight the next night to decide if he'll go.

Willow and Anya are fighting at the magic shop. Buffy barges in. It turns out that the humans were paying the vampires in that "den" to suck on them. Buffy wants to stop it from happening. She's all into it, irrational. When they get to the nest, Buffy sets the place on fire. Everyone is like, "What's the deal with B?" but they don't say anything. Riley stakes Spike (!!!). Turns out the stake is plastic and not wood. It was a threat. Riley asks Spike, "You actually think you have a chance with her?" "No, I don't." Then they drink together in camaraderie-love for Buffy. Buffy is training like a maniac in the back of the shop. Riley shows up and asks Xander and Anya to clear out so he can talk to Buffy. Xander tells Anya he has "stuff to take care of", then Anya goes home alone.

Riley wants to "have it out". Riley says he wanted to understand how it felt to be enthralled by a vampire, like she had. The vampires made him feel needed. "You keep me at a distance, Buffy." He's totally rational. That she doesn't let him in, she's too distant. And Buffy tells him this is it...this is who she is. Deal with it or leave. He tells her he's leaving at midnight unless she stops him before he goes. She thinks that's unfair. That it's an ultimatum. Which it totally is, but what choice does he have? She's the only reason he's there anyway. A bunch of vampires jump Buffy after she leaves Riley at the shop. She kills all of them real quick.

Then Xander comes out and confronts her. "You're acting like a crazy person." She keeps telling him to go away, but he pursues her and won't let her run. Makes her talk to him about what's up. "You gonna let him go?" He tells it like it is while she's being all defensive and even insults him..."Oh boy, is this NOT about me." He is SO the heart of this operation. He lays it all out...Buffy realizes she needs to get to him after what he says...She runs to Riley.

She doesn't make it in time...they're taking off just twenty feet above her head, but he doesn't look back, doesn't see her. Sad.

Xander goes home and tells Anya he's in love with her, to make it clear to her. To make sure she knows he appreciates her. It's so sweet. Glad they had that moment in there to counteract the pain. She'll get over it fast and Riley will find his soulmate in Central America. It'll all be ok.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Listening to Fear.

episode 87.
airdate: 28 Nov 2000.

This is another episode I dread because Joyce is going to be all brain-tumory and upsetting. But, I must trudge through. *deep breath*

Buffy and Dawn are keeping mom company (as pictured). It's all very sweet. Giles, Willow, and Xander are fighting vampires alone. Willow stakes two vampires all by herself. Riley doesn't show up, as he was apparently supposed to do. He's in a vampire den with a girl on his arm. He is hating himself...all very junky-like, of course.

Joyce has a weird little outburst when Willow was in the room with them all. Buffy explains that brain tumors can make you say weird things. Another crazy in the hospital says Dawn has "no data" and points at her. Ben tells them the mental ward is so overworked that they're sending a lot of patients home that need 24-hr care.

Later, Willow and Tara are camping out (why? I dunno.) watching the stars and Willow explains something I've always thought about. Like when they tell you looking at the stars is supposed to make you feel insignificant, but really it makes you feel like you're a part of space....something bigger. The opposite of insignificant. I agree with that. Then a meteorite crashes somewhere nearby. The crazy dude from the hospital (I hate writing the word hospital) shows up at the crash site. Joyce is freaking out and doesn't want to be at the hospital anymore. She's angry and wants to go home. Buffy convinces the doc to take her home while waiting for the operation that's two days away still. Riley, Anya, Giles, Willow, Tara, and Xander are checking out the crash site now. They find the crazy dude dead closeby. He has smelly goop in his mouth. Everyone (except Riley) decides to go into research-mode instead of exploring the woods. Riley stays back to investigate the "crime scene", but really he calls some old military friends. I see now that he is not "other". He needs to get back to his old life of commands and structure and ordered life. The demon that came away from the crash site (didn't mention him, but he's all slimy, wormy, and toothy) is gooping up all over the crazies Glory leaves behind after all the brain-sucking, and either they die of suffocation or of goop-poison, I don't know which.

The military dudes show up and Riley explains the sitch to them. Joyce is being really crazy. Tells Dawn she's a thing and to get away from her. That she's a shadow, etc. Buffy is dealing with it really well. Taking care of everyone. You don't normally see caretaker-Buffy. Dawn is noticing a pattern: the crazy dudes calling her a "thing" or "not real" etc. Buffy comforts her. She's being very big about all of the Dawn-stuff. Giles just said "killer snot-monster from outer space". First laugh in the episode!

Poor Joycey. And Dawn. Can you imagine dealing with your mom and a brain tumor at age 14?! Poor thing. Buffy is downstairs doing dishes when she fucking cracks. Finally breaks down and cries...hard, with Spanish music playing. That's when you do it...when you're washing dishes. Fo sho. The wormy thing is on the ceiling tormenting Joyce. The military dudes figure out that the demon is gone. Riley realizes it's going to Joyce. Dawn is fighting it as Buffy is crying downstairs. Dawn is handling herself very well. Buffy goes upstairs after Dawn calls for her and fights the thing. Spike shows up. He has some story about needing some of the "junk" from their basement, but just as B is noticing he's slipping pictures of her into his jacket (obsession, like I said last night) the Queller (snot-monster from outer space) demon jumps out and attacks him. Buffy has a kitchen knife at this point and kills him real quick. Right after, the military dudes, and Riley, show up.

Cut to Ben getting into his car at night. One of Glory's minions is in the backseat. Ben seems familiar with him and it is revealed that he's the one that summoned the Queller demon "cleaning up Glory's mess, just like I've done my entire life". Joyce asks Buffy if Dawn is real. "She's not mine, is she?" Buffy tells her the truth. "She does belong to us, though." Buffy agrees. They both agree they'll take care of her. Joyce is being wheeled off to surgery now. Everyone is there. Heart. Breaking.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Shadow.

episode 86.
airdate: 21 Nov 2000.

Joyce is getting a CATscan. How awful. I totally get why Joss had to have some real life drama in the midst of all the usual supernatural, but it is so hard.

The Glory-minions are so creative with their worship-terms. "Your creamy-coolness." Everyone at the Magic Box is looking up stuff to do with Glory, not really having anywhere to look as they don't know much about her yet while SHE'S planning a visit to the magic shop. Riley goes to visit Buffy and the door is ajar. Spike is there smelling Buffy's sweaters. "It's a predator thing, nothing wrong with it." Spike mentions that they spent time together last night. "Sorry, Charlie, but you're just not dark enough." Riley doesn't even know Joyce is at the hospital. Riley is understandably upset that he didn't know, and especially that Spike did. He's real classy about it when he catches up with Buffy at the hospital; doesn't mention Spike. Joyce explains she has a "shadow" and that they're doing a biopsy to see what it is.

"Brain cloud."

Tara suggests that maybe "she" (Glory) is something that predates language, so that's why she's not in the books. Giles remembers the Dagon sphere is meant to repel "that which cannot be named". That's when Glory shows up to buy her stuff, but of course no one knows it's her because Buffy is the only one who's seen her and she isn't there. Buffy is pretending to be comforted by Riley's presence, though I suspect she just wants him gone. The doc says she has a brain tumor. As he's explaining it, Buffy spaces out so you don't hear most of what he says. She has a "nearly one in three chance of doing just fine". Ben interrupts and sort of diffuses the situation. Buffy has to bail and go talk to Giles. She tells Riley to tell Dawn they don't know anything yet. Heart. Breaking.

Anya notices the combination of things sold on a receipt to one customer and freaks out. They suddenly realize the "young woman would have to have enormous power"...oops. Oh god. Dawn tells Riley that Buffy doesn't "get all worked up" over him, like she did with Angel. She meant that she isn't crying all the time and "drama drama", but of course he takes this as lack of passion, which is true. When Buffy goes to talk to Giles they tell her (well, Anya accidentally starts it) about Glory getting the ingredients for a spell to transmogrify a cobra. Buffy goes to "kill it" without consulting anyone, of course. She finds Glory, but Glory beats her up, again. Arise, cobra, arise! It's a giant man-cobra. She tells it to go find the Key, then come back and tell her where it is.

Xander confronts Riley alone about his going in to kill that vampire gang alone the night before. He's real classy about it and asks if Riley is ok. "If she needs me..." Buffy apparently didn't hear that the snake's purpose was to find the Key. Buffy is going to Giles every time she needs someone and not Riley. He's drinking in the bar again. Poor thing. How many times have I written those two words about Riley? He sees the vamp chick from the night before and goes somewhere with her. She drinks his blood. He feels wanted, for a second, then he kills the vampire.

Creepy snake with arms breaks into the magic shop and stares at Dawn, then turns around and leaves. Buffy figures out the snake's purpose (she was in the shop when it happened) and goes after it on foot. Giles catches up in his car and helps Buffy in pursuit. Buffy swiftly jumps on the cobra-man's back with a chain and strangles it when she catches up, thanks to Giles. He's such a stud. She's pretty studly herself, with all the giant-snake stranglin'. Ok, wait, the strangling doesn't work so Buffy punches it to death, and then punches some more way after it's dead.

Riley is being a little overly sensitive, but I do understand. He's a full-time gf kinda dude and Buffy is soooo not. And he's got no one else. It makes sense, but from Buffy's POV, she's not doing anything wrong, just being herself.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Fool for Love.

episode 85.
airdate: 14 Nov 2000.

Buffy is fighting a regular vampire and he turns her stake around and stabs her with it. What? She gets all vulnerable and Riley saves her. He also has "combat medical training", so he fixes her up. She decides (of course) to keep it from her mom, not to worry her. Riley takes over patrol with Willow, Xander, and Anya. He's being all military-stealthy while everyone else is eating chips and making jokes. So funny. One of my favorite scenes ever.

Buffy is having an existential crisis because she was almost bested by a regular vampire. She is studying old Watcher diaries to try to figure out why Slayers get killed. Giles explains that as a Watcher who also keeps a diary about his Slayer, after the final battle, a Watcher might be too emotionally compromised to tell a complete story. That's why they think of Spike, a surviving vampire who has killed two Slayers. So Buffy decides to talk to Spike. Ask him how he killed the Slayers. So this is a Spike-flashback episode.

She offers him money to tell his stories. At the Bronze. Spike is left-handed. 1880: he's a poet and in love with a pretty lady in an Austen-like land of aristocracy. Someone steals his poem and reads it aloud so they can laugh at him. Cecily, his love interest, rebuffs him. Tells him "you're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me." Heart. Breaking. OMG. He is crying, tearing up the poem, when Drusilla appears. She "sees him". His "strength". "You walk in worlds the others can't even begin to imagine." I would totally fall for her in that moment. I get it. She turns him. It's hot.

The guys are still hunting when they find the vamp that staked B. He goes into a crypt and you can hear other dudes in there. Riley declares they can "kill 'em just as dead in the morning".

Back to the flashback: Angel, Dru, Darla, and Spike. Spike is more like Spike now. Angel is threatened. Spike is all unruly and Angel is joyless. I love Spike's nails. They're all black at the beds and gradiate into regular nails. Very sexy. If only more men realized that painted nails are freaking hawwwt. Spike kills a Slayer in the Boxer Rebellion in 1900. She's an accomplished sword-wielder. Hero shot as Spike struts off with flames behind him. "Best night of my life...and I've had some sweet ones."

Riley is breaking the rules! He went back by himself to kill the vampire-clan. With dynamite and a death wish. Buffy and Spike are sparring. He explains if there's no intent to hurt, he has no pain from the chip. Then he starts telling the story of 1977's Slayer he killed. He's all punk and fighting her on a subway. The fight he had with her is interspersed with the sparring with Buffy. He's telling B she's a little in love with the fear and uncertainty, the darkness. "Death is your art...every Slayer has a death wish...even you." He's taunting her. He tries to kiss her. She tells him he's "beneath" her and throws the money at him. He cries. Heart. Breaking. Has a new lust for the kill. Goes over to her house with a shotgun. He's been obsessed with killing Buffy since he met her. Another flashback to Dru. The reason she left him is because of his obsession with Buffy. The one he couldn't kill.

Joyce tells B that she has to go stay at the hospital overnight for tests. B goes to the back porch to cry when Spike shows up. His rage melts when he sees her crying and he simply goes and sits by her in companionable silence patting her on the back after asking her "what's wrong?" and "is there something I can do?" God, it is so fucking sweet. That is EXACTLY what you need in a time like that...someone to sit next to you, just BE with you. Spike is SUCH a lovesick puppy that he didn't even lose it all with the loss of his soul. I love his character arc so much and this is the season when he evolves the most. Another of my favorite scenes ever. This HAS to be on my top ten Buffy episodes of all time list. Fo Sho.

It's so smart that Joss is constantly drawing parallels between the vampires and Buffy. It's become a cliche that the Slayer falls for the vampire, but in this case (the premiere example, mind you) it makes total sense. She does love death. She loves the kill, the violence. She tortures herself with guilt, but to be as good as she is at her birthright, she HAS to be a bit in love with it. Riley knows it, to an extent. Spike knows it. And they are really foreshadowing her own death at the end of the season too. She doesn't have that death wish yet, but this is the season where she's trying to find herself. And the build to her sleeping with Spike is already starting. After her mom dies and everything goes to shit all around her and Spike proves himself to her over and over again that he cares about her, will even sacrifice himself for her (doesn't give up Dawn's identity in that ep where Glory tortures him almost to death), etc. It makes sense. There's a build-up. It's GOOD writing, man! So good.

And even the attempted-rape scene, as upsetting as that is...I think it's a valid commentary. To remind you that Spike does NOT have a soul...which is why he then seeks it out. Because he does care. Because he can't live with himself after what he tried to do. And you know his story, so you WANT to forgive him. And you do. And then you hate yourself for forgiving him, so you have to ask yourSELF what the fuck is going on that I'm forgiving an attempted rapist?! Putting yourself in his shoes and still knowing it is wrong and you'd never....It's NEVER excusable, but I get that in a relationship built upon abuse (from both sides, in this case) and darkness, there could be a confusing moment, a question of consent. She acts like she hates him the entire time she's fucking him, and really she hates herself the entire time she's fucking him. And for Spike's character, being soulless and recently losing Buffy, it makes sense that this happens, though she doesn't forgive him for a year and he never forgives himself. His love-sickness is more obsession than actual love and always has been. This is the moment he has to choose to change. A soulless creature can WANT to change.

Perhaps in this scene, Joss wants men to be put in Spike's place. If they've ever had that moment of almost overpowering a woman when they didn't realize what they were doing...the self-loathing that follows. The pain of seeing Buffy victimized, which you NEVER see in the show. Perhaps this scene is meant for men to see how this feels for a woman. How it is NEVER ok, even when the chick can kick your ass, even when you've had sex with her many times before. It makes the scene so much more intense when you know everything they've both been through to get to that moment. Everyone in season 6 reaches their darkest moments, and this is Spike's. I don't think he's trivializing rape here at ALL. People are more complex than their actions...and he didn't go through with it. And he will attempt to atone for it for the rest of his life.

There are consequences all over the place for every action in Buffy and this is why it's one of the best shows ever. Anyway, I'm getting YEARS (though for me, it will be only weeks) ahead of myself here. The arc of Spike/Buffy is very complex and interesting. His path is never clear-cut, but always nuanced and fascinating.

Commentary (by Doug Petrie) notes added 5.12.13: The point of having Buffy get stabbed by a typical vampire in a typical situation is to remind us how intrinsically dangerous Buffy's job really is. 

I think Spike's nature is really true throughout his existence. He tries in life to be good so badly with the same fervour he emloys becoming bad as a vampire. 

Doug talks about Spike's accent here. As a human, he had an aristocratic high-class accent and then as a vampire he employed (on purpose, presumably) more of a cockney working-class accent to differentiate himself from Angel. Never noticed Spike getting his eyebrow scar from the first Slayer he killed in China. Ha! I was right that Angel has a soul during the Boxer Rebellion. That he's trying to deal with what's happened to him and hasn't told his mates when Spike kills that first Slayer. This episode is essentially the story of Spike. It tells the story of the scar, the accent, and the coat. And no matter how far he's come, he's still William the Bloody when Buffy tells him he's beneath her and throw money at him like he's her whore. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Family.

episode 84.
airdate: 7 Nov 2000.

Tara and Willow at bedtime. Tara is saying she doesn't feel useful to everyone. Buffy is telling Giles everything about Dawn. This is later that night from the episode before. Buffy has accepted that it is her duty to take care of Dawn. Buffy decides not to tell any of the others. It will be just her and Giles that know. They already know that Glory (though they don't yet know her name) is looking for the Key as well. I don't think I mentioned that before.

Everyone is helping Buffy move out of the dorm back to her mom's. I didn't even realize she wasn't already living back at her mom's because they haven't shown her in the dorms at all this season.

Tara's bday is the next day. Xander is lookin' good these days. He's more confident since "The Replacement", but still his dweeby self. He's becoming fully actualized. Love his eyebrows. *Xander love*

Ok, now Buffy is beating up Spike. Is this another fantasy of his? Yep. While he's doin' it with Harmony. Poor Harm.

There's a stereotypical douchebag hick dude in the shop. Turns out he's Tara's bro. Then the dad comes in. And Amy Adams is a cousin. I knew I vaguely recognized her when she first started getting big. There's a lot of awkwardness with the Tara-fam. Ok, Tara's room is Tara's room. And Willow is still in her dorm, so I suppose I was wrong about them living together after all. God, I love her room. Stereos, art, black, glitter, candles, crystals. Tara is so cool. Tara is about to turn 20 and her dad thinks she's going to turn into (something?) on her 20th birthday. She calls him sir and she's real weird around him. He tells her she's coming back with him in the morning. "How do you think your friends are going to feel when they see your true face?"

Glory is so cool. She's telling an ugly demon to kill Buffy for her. That's not why she's cool. I just like her.

Tara is doing a spell on everyone. Riley is drinking at Willey's, the demon bar. He meets a vampire. Buys her a drink. She asks him to go somewhere more private, but he refuses. He's sad about Buffy leaving him in the dark about stuff.

Harmony tells Spike the demon dude is going to kill Buffy (she overhears someone talking about it at the mall or something). Spike goes under the guise of wanting to watch B die, but of course he's going to help her.

The cousin runs into Tara calling her a bitch and saying she needs to leave her friends alone. Tara reveals that the spell she did was so her friends would be blind to the demon side in Tara. Turns out they can't see ANY demons, because when the fork-tongued types show up to kill Buffy, Willow answers the door (they didn't knock, but she heard something) and doesn't see them. Now the demons are lurking around the shop wondering why no one can see them. Buffy is training in her workout room when the demons come in. She fights them. Now everyone is fighting them. Spike shows up and he realizes they can't see them, but of course he can, because he wasn't part of the spell. Buffy can't see Spike either. Michael just pointed that out, but I'd never realized that before. Tara comes in and realizes what's going on and breaks the spell. They defeat them. Tara explains the sitch. Says she's a demon...well the dad says it. "The women in our family have demon in them."

She tries to go with her family but Willow protests. Buffy stands up for her. Then they all do. For the first time Tara feels accepted by all of them. Anya asks what kind of demon she is and the family is all like "What does it matter?" Spike punches her to "settle this" and he's hit with intense neurological pain. There you go. Not a demon. Spike realizes what's going on: "a bit of a spin to keep the ladies in line?" Then they all have the birthday party at the Bronze. Then Tara and Willow slow-dance and it's suuuuuuuuuuper cute...and they float.

The end.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: No Place Like Home.

episode 83,
airdate: 24 Oct 2000.

Opening: shuffling monks. They're moving fast..."Two Months Ago". Doing a spell. Chanting. Something is after them.

"Now": Buffy is fighting a butch vampire. She finds a glowy ball at the scene of the slaying, which is some sort of industrial area.

It's the grand re-opening of the Magic Box and Giles is wearing a wizard outfit. The shot is held for 8 whole seconds going between Giles in his silly outfit (complete with hat) and Buffy judging him. He takes off the cape and hat. Joyce is still getting headaches and they're worse.

Giles: It (the glowy orb thing) appears to be paranormal in origin.
Willow: How can you tell?
Giles: Well, it's so shiny.

Buffy goes to the hospital to fill a prescription for her mom when she sees the security guard that she met at the industrial area where she killed the vamp. He's uncontrollably crazy now. She also formerly meets Ben. And then we see Glory for the first time. Anya comes into the magic shop complaining about money. Buffy comes in shortly after claiming her mom's sickness is supernatural. Glory is already rambling about "The Key" in only her second scene. She's torturing a monk. He refuses to tell her anything. She goes a little nutty (ok, a lot nutty) and then sucks the brain out of a security guard she also has captive.

Meanwhile, Giles is overwhelmed by all the customers in the magic shop. Everyone is helping and Anya is really enjoying it. Anya suggests a trance to see all spells in the area to see if something is affecting her mother. Buffy does the trance thing all by herself. Insert calming "restless"esque music here. She achieves the trance and walks around her house to check the magic/spell status. Her mom is totally normal...no spells anywhere, but the picture behind her head with her, her mother and Dawn keeps changing with Dawn fading in and out. So she goes to Dawn's room and sees it changing from her room to what it was before (some kind of storage area). When she sees Dawn she tells her "You're not my sister." She thinks she is messing with her mom and confronts her. Dawn is scared. Giles calls as Buffy and Dawn are staring at each other, tells her the glowy orb is called the Dagon Sphere.

Spike is lurking outside Buffy's house. She punches him.

Buffy: What are you doing here? Five words or less.
Spike: (counting on his fingers with each word) Out. For. A. Walk....Bitch.

He's being all stuttery and cute. Obvs he was NOT there on a stroll because there are like 15 cigarette butts by the tree he was standing behind. *claps and squeals* I love Spike being into Buffy. Buffy encounters Glory who is FREAKishly strong. Giles, Willow, and Xander are exhausted after the long day at the magic shop, but Anya is all energized. Giles offers her a job. Xander calls Giles "Big G". I never noticed that before. Glory is really beating up Buffy. She rescues the monk and jumps out the window with him, escaping. The monk is dying. He tells Buffy she has to protect "The Key". That it's a portal. That it used to have no form at all. That they (he and some other monks) made the Key human and sent it to her to protect it. He tells her everything, that the monks built the memories of Dawn, but Dawn herself is now human and doesn't know she's not.

Wow, I didn't remember they reveal all this already. The day Glory is introduced we find out who Dawn is. So soon!

Buffy goes home. She goes to talk to Dawn, apologizes for the confrontation from before and treats her like a sister she loves.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Out of My Mind.

episode 82.
airdate: 17 Oct 2000.

Buffy is hunting in the cemetery. Riley is too, trying to help, horning in on her fun. Spike is there too, also fighting. She's annoyed by both of them.

Willow and Buffy are having an academic debate at school the next morning and Willow is all excited about it. Buffy is working hard at slaying and school. Getting her shit together. Giles has made a really great training area behind the magic shop for Buffy. I'm kind of jealous of where she is at just this exact moment in time, though I know it won't last. She's young, studious, fit, has the greatest friends ever...an annoying bf and sis, but you know...not everything can be perfect. It's just this moment in time that everything is right for Buffy. I've paused the episode just to soak it in for a sec. Trying not to focus on what's to come.

.........

Ok, I can't put it off anymore. Let's go. Harmony finds Spike. She thinks Buffy is after her because she tried to kill her. They decide to kill Buffy if Spike does the thinking. Joyce collapses. And it starts...*deep breath, Stephanie*. Dawn listens to everyone's heart and Riley's is super-fast. They're already in the hospital so they get him checked out. The doctors think he should stay, but he refuses. He's been all cracked-out lately. Buffy takes advantage of the fact that the Initiative is probably spying on Riley all the time by picking up his phone and saying that he needs their help into the receiver. It works.

"All it means is that he's way stronger than he ought to be and feelin' no pain...his heart can't take it." says an Initiative dude to Buffy. She needs to get him there to them, but he's hiding. Buffy bribes Spike to go find Riley and she's super mean to him, slapping him and stuff. Uncalled for, really. I mean, I guess we're still not supposed to trust or like him. As she told him where to take Riley once he finds him (the doctor to fix him) he takes Harmony to hold him at crossbow-point to get the doctor to take the chip out of Spike's head.

Buffy finds Riley and he explains that he doesn't want to lose his super-strength. He's worried about what they'll do to him. "Best-case scenario: they turn me into Joe Normal." He knows that being normal isn't enough for Buffy. He's right, but Buffy doesn't know it yet. Sarah Michelle Gellar is so good at the wide-eyed-tears-that-don't-surpass-the-waterline thing. Buffy Speech. She convinces him to go. The doctor announces the chip is "out", then Buffy arrives with Riley. Spike decides this is the time to kill Buffy. Riley fights Harmony and Spike still can't hurt anyone because the doctor didn't really take the chip out. Spike and Harmony run away. Spike is going on and on about Buffy. They're going to reveal his crush on her soon. Maybe this episode? There's still 5 minutes left.

Yep. The dream. Lovesick Spike is the best!!

Du NU...du nu du NUUUUUU.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Replacement.

episode 81.
airdate: 10 Oct 2000.

This is an episode I dread because I don't like suave Xander. He creeps me out, plus I think a lot of the time suave Xander was played by Nicholas Brendan's real twin brother and something is just so creepy about twins, man.

Xander is looking for an apartment because of his drunk yell-y parents. A blacklight-crackle-faced demon is after Buffy and hits Xander with his sceptor-thing, thus splitting Xander into two parts, one suave and one goofy. The idea was to hit the Slayer and split her into a weak and a strong Buffy, so the weak one could be more easily defeated, thus killing them both. Goofy Xander is all suspicious of Suave Xander, following him around and stuff. Suave Xander gets a promotion, gets the apartment, and makes up with Anya (she was mad at him before for not getting the apartment--before the split). Willow's hair is so cute all short and flippy. Goofy Xander catches up with Willow while Suave Xander gets to Giles, Riley, and Buffy. They each think they have the right one, and they do, of course, but they don't know that yet.

Michael is saying he wishes he could be split into his good and bad parts so he could get rid of all the self-doubt, etc. He's saying this as Goofy Xander is lamenting that the other Xander is living his life better than he is and maybe he should just let him have it. Willow is comforting him. I told Michael I would want to be married to the goofy version of him. The point of all of this is that you can't get rid of all the "bad" parts of yourself. The best version of you is the WHOLE version of you.

The confrontation occurs in the apartment with Anya, each trying to convince her that they're the real Xander. Giles figures out that they're both Xander. Buffy catches up to the Xanders and explains the thing to them. Then the demon comes in to finish his goal of splitting Buffy. She beats him up real quick.

They start acting more like regular Xander the longer they're together. Giles: Clearly, he's a bad influence on himself. Willow ends the spell. The last scene is everyone helping Xander pack up the basement and Riley tells Xander how much he's in love with Buffy. Then says, "But she doesn't love me." Poor Riley. He just doesn't fit with this show. It makes total sense that Buffy would attempt to date a normal guy after Angel, but she's just not supposed to be with a normal guy. Riley is a good guy and I'm totally over hating him, but he's not interesting enough for Buffy. Not quirky or broody enough. She doesn't need normal. She needs intense. This is why Xander is perfect. He's got the sweetness, the take charge save-the-worldness (the intention is there, even if he doesn't have the brute force), and the goofy nerdiness.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Real Me.

episode 80.
airdate: 3 Oct 2000.

This episode came out on my 18th birthday! Who was the "real me" back then? Well, I was a willing doormat girlfriend. A senior in high school. My BFF had recently dropped out. I was a little pudgy, mostly antisocial, angry for the first time in my life, newly vegetarian...I can safely state that I feel a lot better about life now, 12.5 years later. Yeay! On with the episode...

Giles is guiding Buffy on some meditation/fighting techniques. It's all calm and peaceful and Buffy is balancing on one hand until Dawn knocks some crystals over. Remember, this is only the second shot with Dawn and nothing has yet been explained except that Buffy acts annoyed with her and we know they are sisters somehow. Dawn is all angsty writing in her diary. If this were today, she'd be all angsty writing in her blog and getting tons of reinforcement online from peers that are also all angsty writing in their blogs. In this way, I think things have improved...of course teenagers were being angsty on LiveJournal (I was a teenager being angsty on LiveJournal) already back in 2000. How many times can I write the word angsty which Blogger doesn't think is a word so it's all dotty-underlined in red, alerting me to the number of times I've used it: 6, in case you were wondering...

Anyway, I think the 14-year-old Dawns of today may, hopefully, have the opportunity to let out some of that angst on Tumblr and stuff...and feel less alone, etc. Giles doesn't like driving an automatic; "I loathe this sitting here, not contributing!" I feel the same way, Giles. That's why I always go with a manual.

Everyone is annoyed with, or pretty much ignores, Dawn except Tara and Willow. They're on their way to the Magic Box (magic shop) when they find it dark and the shopkeeper is dead inside. A crazy guy outside the shop tells Dawn she doesn't "belong here". Giles is all interested in the shop because of the "profit margins". A unicorn valued at 12.95 is missing from a case and Giles says, "What kind of an unholy creatures fancies cheap, tasteless statuary?"

Harmony. She's planning to kill Buffy with her "minions", a bunch of clueless vampires. They're the ones that robbed the magic shop and killed the shopkeeper for Harmony.

Dawn has a crush on Xander...wonder if Joss knew at this point that they would be together later in the comics. If so, ew. Willow is moving in with Tara...already? Tramp. Tara is explaining how she feels like an outsider, empathizes with Dawn. Buffy is jealous of Dawn, Dawn is jealous of Buffy. Harmony is so pretty. Xander and Harmony fight when Dawn accidentally invites her in.

"Real Me" is primarily about Dawn who is not real, but also Harmony who is not totally real as a vampire and also Buffy who is not totally real because she's a Slayer. Or something. Maybe? A play on a few of the females' mystical nature. Dawn gets herself kidnapped after throwing a fit and going outside. Buffy goes to beat up Spike for information, maybe the first time she's done that since the chip. Ooh, they upped the budget on vampire dustings. Buffy uses a unicorn horn to slay, which was fun.

Giles buys the magic shop. Buffy: How bored were you last year? Giles: I watched "Passions" with Spike...let us never speak of it.

Commentary (by David Fury and David Grossman) notes added 5.12.13: They wrote Dawn younger than she is because she was originally going to be 9. It totally explains he supreme annoyingness, but I wish they would have fixed that aspect of the writing. They just said they can't hear the audio of what they're watching. See? that's how it should be for the viewers too! This is a pretty boring commentary. They don't remember much about many of the scenes, etc. Ugh, they ALWAYS talk about how Sarah doesn't like to laugh onscreen. She does it well in the scene in this episode, but it undermines her performance to hear the writers and directors talking about her reluctance to do it CONSTANTLY. 

I never realized that all of the top three (Xander, Willow, and actually Buffy) are only children. This commentary is borrrrrrring. They're sometimes just being completely silent and alternating between that and explaining plot points as they're trying to guess what's going on because they don't remember the episode at all, apparently. Should I cut out now? Yeah, I think so. Onward to season 4!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy vs. Dracula.

Episode 1 of season 5; 79 overall.
airdate: 26 Sept 2000.

If I remember this episode right, it's pretty cheesy...fluffy.

Buffy already has to get up in the middle of the night to kill things in order to sleep through the night next to boring Riley...oops.

There's a beach scene...possibly the only one ever. I guess I get why they had to address the Dracula issue, but it seems a little like Joss might have been humoring one of the writers...it doesn't really fit into the narrative. Giles is doing a lot of archiving and labeling things. He tells Willow, in secret, that he's planning to leave Sunnydale. Going back to England. He's trying to make sure they have everything they need (his books archived into the computer, etc) for when he leaves. It kinda hurts in the chest area thinking about Giles leaving.

Buffy is sort of obsessed with slaying right now. Dracula shows himself. He's very Anne Rice: pale, pretty, long hair, alluring. I love that Buffy always uses their summers off as real time. It's always actually been as long in their world as it was in ours. So, they've had a summer off school, etc. Buffy tries to slay Dracula but he disappears in vapor, to reappear and then disappear again as a bat. When they're telling Giles, Anya, and Tara back at Giles' they're all starstruck and the girls all think he's sexy.

Ok, maybe the reason for the weird Dracula episode is to show that the world is slightly off as a precursor to Dawn who'll show at the end of the episode. Dracula can also, apparently, turn into a wolf. He shows himself alone to Xander in order to bewitch him into servitude, his "eyes and ears in daylight", with the promise of becoming immortal. Odd. Poor Xand-y.

Riley ends up in Spike's crypt for some reason...oh, he wants info on Dracula. Apparently, they're old foes and Spike laments that Dracula's fame outed the vampirekind secrets. Riley is being all threatening to Spike. He's obviously very insecure after no longer being Initiative dude whilst Buffy is still his "super honey".

Dracula enters Buffy's bedroom and bewitches her. He calls her "kindred", a "creature whose darkness rivals" his own. He actually is really pretty. He bites Buffy and it's all sexy and she has to wear a scarf the next day. It's nice seeing her in her old room. Xander is all twitchy and hilarious: "like any of that is enough to fight the Dark Master...bater." Xander eats a spider. Riley pulls off the scarf, outing her to everyone. She's "under the thrall of the Dark Prince". They decide Buffy can't be alone with him so she's going to stay with Xander-the-bug-eater while Willow and Tara do a protection spell at Joyce's house (it turns out she was the one that invited him in for coffee in the first place). Xander takes her to Dracula of course, then Giles and Riley break in. Buffy is having trouble fighting Dracula. She's fighting the "thrall". Dracula is talking a lot of sexy at Buffy about what her "body is capable of" etc. Dracula offers her his blood...

Riley finds out about Xander and knocks him out. Giles falls into the "chick pit" aka Dracula's three sisters. They seduce him. Dracula convinces Buffy to drink. She really does want to. He says the thing Tara said to her in the dream: "You think you know what's to come...what you are. You haven't even begun." She has a vision while she's drinking of the First Slayer and other stuff. She finds her strength after the blood drinking and fights him. Riley rescues Giles. He tries to go back and he says, "No sir. No more chick pit for you." Cute.

They catch up to Buffy after she's staked him. Xander makes a cute speech about how he's sick of being everybody's "buttmonkey". Dracula re-solidifies, Buffy stakes him again, he tries to reassemble again...she says, "I'm standing right here!" and he stops. So she hasn't bested him. He's still in the world, but this makes him decide to leave her alone.

Giles tries to tell Buffy he's going to leave but she tells him she wants to train with him. She wants him to be her Watcher again, because she's questioning her identity. She tells him she's been patrolling ("hunting") a lot lately. She wants to know more about her power, her darkness, the origins of her Slayerness, etc. She tells him she needs him, to be her Watcher again. It's so sweet. He's so touched.

Then, Dawn.