Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Go Fish

Episode 32.
airdate: 5 May 1998

Here's a nice palate-cleanser after the extreme emotionalness of the last episode and before the last two SERIOUSLY drama-filled episodes to end the season. This is just a nice traditional episode about fish-boys on a swim team, drugged by their coach with some kind of fishy steroids.

I'm not sure I'll have much to say about this episode except, yummy Xander in a Speedo. I'm not really into Speedos, but he looks nice topless and wet.

Buffy almost broke the nose/wrist of a swim-boy who tried to take advantage of her. The excuse of the swim-boy..."I mean, look at the way she dresses!" and the swim coach says, "Try to dress more appropriately from now on." I remember THAT from high school. Dressing innovatively and/or with some skin showing equals "asking for it" and being called a slut. Oh, I remember that very clearly.

Buffy's wearing her brown stretchy pants again!

Cordelia has this really sweet speech when she thinks Xander's a fish boy about how she'll give him bath toys and still date him, etc. Cuteness.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I Only Have Eyes For You.

Episode 31.
airdate: 28 April 1998.

This is one of my favorite episodes. There's a poltergeist spirit in the school. It's of a young boy who was in love with a teacher during the '50s during the time of the Sadie Hawkins' dance. She breaks it off with him because, you know, it's wrong to date a student and he flips out and accidentally kills her, then kills himself. People at the high school keep getting possessed by the spirit of the boy and girl and playing out the last moments of their lives throughout the episode. At the very end, Buffy goes into the school and Angel follows her in. Everyone is worried that Angel will kill Buffy in the poltergeist scenario, but instead, Buffy is possessed by the boy's spirit while Angel acts out the girl's part, but this time the story plays out differently because Angel's a vampire and can't die the way that the woman died. She, as Angel, comes back into the school and forgives the boy, therefore, the boy's spirit can finally move on from repeating the death scenario over and over again. It's really a very moving episode. By the end, you know the lines and you're watching like it's a play, with the added bonus of the quite literal Joss gender role reversal. And you get to see Angel and Buffy kiss again, which I guess was exciting for some, but of course it totally fucked Buffy up, since she's all trying to get over him and shit.

Pushing play:

Buffy has WAY too many crucifixes. And her suede go-go dress with the severe slit up the leg would never have flown at MY high school!

Oh, man, I forgot about how Giles is convinced at first that the poltergeist is Jenny. Buffy is all irrational hating on the boy-spirit just like Giles is all irrational thinking it's Jenny. The pain of losing their loves has made them both irrational, just like losing his love made the boy-spirit all crazy. Ah-ha!

And while Buffy is being all boy-hatey, she doesn't know she'll later be possessed by him. This is the first episode where we see Willow really getting into magic.

Xander: Oh, yeah, baby, it's snakealicious in here!

...he was, of course, referring to the cafeteria filled with snakes.

Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy, it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it.

Buffy: No, James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion and that's not something you can forgive, no matter why he did what he did, no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid. It is just something he's gonna to have to live with!

Xander: He can't live with it, Buff. He's dead.

(Buffy storms out.)

Cordelia: Ok. Overidentify much?

Buffy's going in! The plague of wasps parts for her entrance back into the school. James' spirit has been beckoning her throughout the episode. The parallel between James and the teacher-lady is eerily like Buffy and Angel's relationship...well, duh, but it's still really dramatic and powerful. I love it when Buffy calls Angel a bitch. This episode gives me chills.

And then we find out Spike's healed, but he's hiding it from Angel and Dru.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Killed by Death

Episode 30.
airdate: 3 March 1998

Buffy is sick...she's all sniffly and feverish. She ends up in the hospital seeing a demon that sucks the souls of (mostly) children who can only see him when they're feverish. The hospital looks really dark and dingy. Buffy hates the hospital because her BFF when she was 8 died in one.

Xander is all cute and stays at the hospital watching out for Angel. They have a confrontation when he shows and Xander's manly bravery, even though Angel could kick his ass in three seconds, is so heroicly hot.

Giles: Cordelia, have you ever actually heard of tact?
Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff...I'll pass.

One of my favorite Cordelia lines ever. She's terribly insightful. I love that Xander dates tactless blunt babes, even if they are meant to be audience surrogates. I like audience surrogates, apparently. I was dreading this episode, but it really has a lot of good moments between the not-Buffy characters. Xander is all stalwart and protective of Buffy, Cordelia acknowledges Xander's obsession with Buffy playfully and eventually accepts his want to protect her.

Buffy looks cute when she's feverish. She looks young and they've really underplayed her makeup and wardrobe. She looks beautiful and almost luminous.

Oh my gawd, there's a cacophony of children screaming! Ok, so this episode was cute...except for the cacophony of kids screaming, of course.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Passion

Episode 29.
airdate: 24 February 1998.

Oh, shit...it's time for "Passion". I'm not ready!

This is the one where Angel kills Jenny and tortures Buffy by leaving her pictures he's drawn of her and her mother. NOW they think of finding a spell to revoke Angel's invitation into both Buffy's and Willow's house; and Cordelia's car, apparently. Giles sums it up: "since Angel's lost his soul, he's regained his sense of whimsy." Angel kills Willow's fish and puts them in an envelope. He's so obsessed with Buffy. His character evil versus good really makes sense. He's creepy stalker protective guy when he's good and creepy stalker murderer guy when he's evil.

At least Xander's wearing plaid pants...that's one of the only comforting things about this episode of torture and scary Angelness.

So, after killing Jenny he sets the stage for Giles at home. There's champagne and opera music playing and a note luring him upstairs and roses and candles. They've never done it and he's super excited because he was expecting her to come over and they'd just recently made up after everyone found out about Jenny being part of the Gypsy tribe...then he finds Jenny dead in his bed. Heart-wrenching to see Giles' face go from happy and hopeful to total dejection.

The score in this episode is beautiful and haunting. And the shots are gorgeous; there's a breathtaking shot where Buffy and Willow find out about Jenny via a phone call from Giles that's shown from Angel's P.O.V. through the window of Buffy's house. They really put some production value in this episode. And the shot where Angel breaks Jenny's neck in front of a big pretty window is also very sticky-in-your-mind. Even Michael, who hasn't seen Buffy even 1/4 as much as me talked about that shot.

Giles takes some sweet revenge. He burns down Angel/Dru/Spike's lair and bludgeons Angel's face with a flaming torch. It's delicious catharsis. And then Buffy has to save Giles and punch him in the face and then hug him and cry. It's sweet.

This episode is really showing Joss' chops and is probably the most cohesive and beautiful episodes so far. It has made my chest physically hurt. Everything came together in this episode, in other words; shots, music, dialogue, even Angel's silly voiceover about passion in the intro and ending is poignant and moving...

"If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace...but we would be hollow."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

Episode 28.
airdate: 10 February 1998.

They are intermittently not playing the little "Chosen One" explanation intro at the beginning of the episodes. They did it with the last one, but not the two before, and not this one.

This is the one where Cordelia dumps Xander and Xander enlists Amy to put a love spell on her, but it backfires and infects every female in the school EXCEPT Cordelia. Needless to say, things get feverish and out of hand as everyone throws themselves at Xander.

Ooh, I forgot the reason Cordelia dumps Xander is because her friends are rejecting and making fun of her because of Xander.

And Angel, being evil and all, is going to torment Buffy especially much. He leaves her flowers with cryptic notes...just a little prelude to the evil that Angel will bring upon Giles in "Passion" which is only a few episodes away.

Xander catches onto the fact that girls are hitting on him, that it's a spell, after only girl #2. Jaunty Xander theme! Slow motion Xander walking down the hallway...I wish he would have been wearing his flannel pants and '70s shirt thing. Oh no, Amy just turned Buffy into a rat! Even Drusilla and Joyce are under the spell. At one point Xander has to save Cordelia from the mob of women attacking her and later Cordelia has to save Xander from the mob of women attacking him...and then they're hiding in Buffy's basement again, where they first kissed.

Buffy acknowledges to Xander that she remembers everything that happened and he didn't take advantage of her, even though he could have.

And then Cordelia tells off her friends by calling them sheep and her and Xander get back together! Yeay!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Phases

Episode 27.
airdate: 27 January 1998

Time for an Oz-centric episode to get the awful taste of Angel out of our mouths. Werewolves! Giles and I are both giddy.

Buffy always looks like such a thug in a black beanie. Best effect on the show so far: watching Oz turn from werewolf to himself again. Sort of uncharacteristic of Buffy to start blaming the werewolf who's a person 28 days out of the month. I wonder if that gay bully on Glee was modeled after the gay bully on Buffy.

Oz is gonna lock himself up when Willow comes over. Apparently, watching this episode has made me as monosyllabic as Oz himself. Weird menstruation parallels...not sure how that makes sense, as it's Oz and he's a boy. Maybe Joss' regular feminization of boys thing.

..."a werewolf in love".

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Surprise and Innocence.

Episodes 25 and 26.
airdates: 19 and 20 January 1998.

Surprise-

I really dislike Angel and Buffy together..have I mentioned that? So, I'm just gonna rip these last two episodes wherein she loses her virginity to him and he turns evil off like a Band-Aid, right now. You ready? I might have to drink heavily during this one, so don't mind my increasing deterioration of vocabulary.

Surprise starts with a Buffy nightmare. She's dreaming about Drusilla killing Angel on her birthday. Willow is speaking French to a monkey, too, just for inexplicable dream-ness.

Angel's topless again. And I'm drinking every time Buffy and Angel kiss in these two episodes. Drink. And again. And again. I'm counting every time they actually stop long enough to stare into one another's eyes (drink again) and talk. OMG, again!

Willow and Buffy talking about whether or not B will lose her V-card. It's a short convo, not super over-the-top like a lot of TV shows deal with the subject, though the fact that Joss turns Angel evil after they do it and makes him the cruelest person ever means that he's making a HUGE deal of it, but at least the deal is metaphorical.

Oz asking Willow out!!! Love it! Ok, I really love Willow as a lesbian and I also loved her with Oz and I am not one of those people that doesn't believe in bisexuals, but I'm just a little put-off by the way they treated the issue. After Tara, Willow is gay. I don't like that after her obvious attraction to both Oz and Xander, she just becomes gay. That's not how that works. It would have been a MUCH better explanation to just say that Willow is attracted to men and women. And they could have done this by simply never calling her a lesbian, or showing her attraction to men occasionally, but they don't. That's just my mini-beef with the series.

Xander calls Giles a "funky party weasel"! Cute.

First sighting of Spike in a wheelchair. Drusilla is getting pieces of a big butch vampire to reassemble for evil Apocalypse-ness, for her birthday.

Oh shit! This is the episode where you find out Jenny is not Jenny. She's part of the Gypsy tribe that cursed Angel.

I love that Oz is immediately, on their first date, introduced to the entire world of demon-ness and is not at all surprised by it. "Actually, it explains a LOT."

Angel just gave Buffy the claddagh ring and Michael just threw up a little bit in his mouth. Drink. Giraffe pants! Oh, man! She's going to lose her virginity shortly after wearing giraffe pants! I love that characters on this show actually rewear outfits.

Perfect Drusilla moment: she's dancing in a red satin dress to "Transylvanian Concubine" by Rasputina. Awesome!

There's a sense of real foreboding for me as Buffy and Angel run through the rain...there's only scant moments before they do it. And it's going to be gross. I hate the way Buffy kisses. She's sooo into it and there's a lot of head bobbing. This is the end of the really-in-love Buffy. It never happens again. Drink. Ohh, Angel's convulsing!

Innocence-

Angel is definitely evil again. He kills a woman, Drusilla can feel it...I'm excited that Buffy will now be the tortured soul she remains throughout the series (just because she acts tortured better than acting in love), but I hate it when Angel's evil. He's just too good at being a total dickface. The claddagh ring on Angel's finger is now pointed away from him as well. That's a nice little detail.

Willow catches Cordelia and Xander kissing. She has to go to the bathroom and cry a little for the final closure before she's ready to move on.

Oh, Angel's a dick. The quintessential asshole after sex. Sarcasm. Insults. It's positively horrific to watch. It's surprising that David Boreanaz hasn't been cast in more asshole roles. He's too good at it. Seething.

Buffy finds out about Jenny. Giles finds out about the sex. Everything is all effed up.

Oz's sweetness almost cancels out Angel's total dickness. Almost. And he's already helpin' out with the Scoobs! I love Oz so much!! More than Xander, really.

There's a lot of water (rain, lakes, sprinklers in malls) in these last two episodes. It must be a rebirth thing. Buffy lost to her virginity, Angel is now Angelus, Jenny is found out, Oz and Willow are starting, Cordelia and Xander were found out...lots of changes.

Commentary (by Joss Whedon) notes added 5.20.13: Joss is talking as if it's his first commentary. Hmm. Interesting. He calls this the most important episode he ever did. It exemplifies the emotional resonance that horror can have. Joss brought emotional resonance to horror for quite possibly the first time ever. The idea of Spike and Drusilla as villains is about two younger (looking) characters that could overlap in the lives of the Scoobies a bit more than the Master did in season 1. 

Joss talking (and I've wanted to hear his explanation on this for awhile) about the fact that he didn't want to kill the girl for having sex, though he punishes "the shit" out of her instead. He believes that Buffy and Angel were very much in love and what they did wasn't wrong, yet in horror you have to make consequences for everything in order to find the horror, find the emotional resonance. 

People didn't love Oz at first? That doesn't make sense to me at all. Something about wanting Willow to be with Xander, but Oz! You have to love Oz. I like the image of Giles and Xander together having to carry the rocket launcher in its box and then Buffy wields it by herself when she uses it. That's hot. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Bad Eggs

Episode 24.
airdate: 12 January 1998.

Bad twangy music while Xander and Cordelia makeout. This episode they all have to take care of eggs together as a surrogate for real babies. I had to do this with a bag of sugar. And this being "Buffy", some of the eggs have parasites in them that infiltrate your flesh and control your actions and make you feed a big mother parasite and bla bla. It looks like the face-hugger alien.

I don't have much to say about this episode. I haven't seen it as many times as the others, because, like I say, I usually skip it.

Xander thwarts the whole evil-egg thing by boiling the egg. I wonder how many kids thought of THAT. ;)

That's so crazy to think that this episode was made more than 13 years ago. Wow. I'm old.

Willow's possessed. Cordelia's possessed. I think Giles and Joyce are too, eventually.

Thank gawd it's 2/3 of the way over. Perhaps this will be the last time I watch this episode...for a reallyreally long time. This is such a bad episode. I just hate this hokey possessed by slimy thing, thing. Or at least, if you're going to be possessed, be possessed with a witty and evil demon, not a zombie-makin' one.

Fourth Jonathan sighting.

So, Buffy is fighting all of her friends and family (except Xander) while simultaneously fighting two vampires and a giant slimy squid-thing. Pretty impressive. Xander had to knock out Cordelia, but he seemed genuinely upset about it. This is something about Joss that's pretty admirable, really. Sometimes, when a girl is possessed you CAN hit her, but you still need to be upset about it. Some shows would go out of their way with unrealistic plot twists in order to avoid boys hitting girls.

Oh, totally off-topic, but I decided one-a-day for Buffy-blogging is not even possible as an average. I usually only get around to it once a week and then I watch a whole disc, which is four episodes, and like how you're supposed to put a cat's litter-box where they like to pee, I think my new goal will be 4 per week. That's more doable. Then I don't have to feel guilty that I'm not doing more, which will probably make me watch MORE. Really, I would watch more if I wasn't blogging about it during. It makes me not enjoy the eps as much when I can't just scrunch up on the couch and zone out. I have to be actively thinking...but I am determined to write more, and even if these blogs are total crap and no one's reading them, and both of those things are probably true, I will still trudge on.

Ok, crisis averted. Episode endeth. Merciful ending to my two least favorite Buffy episodes ever. I can now forge onward with the brilliance that awaits me. The non-"Ted" and non-"Bad Eggs" utter brilliance!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Ted

Episode 23.
airdate: 8 December 1997.

I hate this episode AND the one immediately following it. I usually skip them. This is the one where John Ritter is Joyce's boyfriend and he's a super-controlling robot. I hate mean mom-boyfriends. Mine's had a few. I especially hate it when they think they can be a dad-type and make rules for you. Lame-os. Let that be a lesson to you boys out there: if you EVER date a mom of a teenage kid, do NOT start makin' rules and takin' names right away. Just be cool for a year or so, and then ease into the dad-role-thing.

I'm so sick of Buffy and Angel. Why doesn't Buffy ever date a boy I like? Except Spike, of course, but that's all dirty and wrong and that's not as exciting for me as it is for some girls.

Ugh, and the whole mom-doesn't-believe-the-daughter when she tells her about the stepdad-type crap?! And girls, if you are EVER a mom of a teenage kid and your daughter tells you your boyfriend threatened/hit/sexually abused her, believe her and do something about it fucking immediately!! She might be lying to get attention, but most likely NOT, and don't take that chance. Believe her!

Debut of the brown stretchpants of season 2! Buffy wears these a lot!

This is the first thing I ever saw John Ritter in, therefore, I have to hate him. Taste aversion. Ted hit Buffy and she beat the crap out of him and he fell down the stairs and seemed dead, but ya know, he's a robot, so he's not really dead. Buffy tells the police the truth and they're very condescending towards her.

No, wait, I was wrong in the last post: Buffy also looks cute in overalls. Xander is very rational and comforting to Buffy, something he is VERY good at.

Cute little 1997 Apple laptop. Ted put tranquilizer in the cookies. Cordelia is full-time with the Scoobies now. Now that she's making out with Xander.

Ted's back! This is like a horror movie that's a little too real. Oh no: Ms. Calendar just shot Giles in the back with a crossbow, accidentally. Ladies, also: if a man you're dating EVER refers to himself as "Daddy", get out now! Now! Do not pass go, do not collect $200...get. out.

Giles and Jenny kissin' at the end. Michael made me blog it, 'cause he thinks it's cute.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: What's My Line Parts 1 & 2

Episodes 21 and 22.
airdates: 17 Nov and 24 November 1997.

Part 1:

This story arc is about your future and careers, etc. Career Week. "It's a whole week of 'What's my line?' only I don't get to play." says Buffy, who is cranky because she will never get to have a big girl career; she will always primarily be the Slayer. Spike is working on ancient translations of gnarly-looking texts in order to find a cure for Drusilla. She's all weak for some reason, I can't remember. Spike is already showing signs of being seriously obsessed with Buffy.

Xander's aptitude test indicates that he should be a prison guard, Cordelia gets motivational speaker or professional shopper, Buffy got police officer, and Willow is sooo special she gets taken into a back room somewhere and the CIA or some shit tries to recruit her. This is where she meets Oz finally, 'cause he's a super smarty pants too.

Spike actually sicks a team of bounty hunters on Buffy, which I think isn't very characteristic of him because he likes to do the killing himself.

Ohh, I am SOOO excited about Oz!!

There's a lot of emphasis on Buffy's ONEness of Slayerdom. Because Kendra's entrance is in this episode, the Slayer that was called when Buffy died for a second in season 1. First time Giles yells at Xander. I hate it when he does that.

At first when you see Kendra you think she's part of the Order of Taraka, the assassins sent to kill Buffy. Buffy is super-scared of these bounty hunters, so she goes to Angel's house and hides out. Kendra's a bad ass mother effing Slayer, bitch! When I first heard Kendra's accent, I thought it sounded really terrible and fake...some kind of weird fake Jamaican thing, but later I read that she was actually coached by a linguist and it's a very specific accent of some kind. Just to give the actress credit for all you folks watching along with me that are thinking her accent is crap. ;)

Oh, no, Cordelia let the worm guy into Buffy's house. Ew. Angel's trapped in a cage with a sun-facing window. First Slayer-to-Slayer fight.

Part 2:

Kendra is so hot. Killer abs, too. Buffy is very jealous and bitchy towards her, of course. Her territory is threatened.

"A very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale" says Kendra. This "very dark power" is Drusilla, I think. Once her strength is restored, she's pretty scary. But she's so pretttty. Juliet Landau is a ballet dancer in real life, I think. A little skinny, but that's a ballet dancer for ya. I especially love her makeup. She has a very calculated smoky eye. I want to achieve that!

Willow is one of the only people in the universe that looks good in overalls. She looks freakin' cute.

Xander and Cordelia's first kiss! Third Jonathan sighting! Angel's topless again. This only makes twice, shockingly. Don't worry, I'm counting. So far, the best drinking game would be to drink an entire beer every time Giles gets knocked out. Though, you'd have to watch a lot of episodes at once to get drunk. I should start counting things that take place more often.

The complicated restoration of Drusilla involves draining Angel. Willow just staked a vampire...first time?

Oz and Willow are so cute! Slaying is not a job, it's who you are. That's the message.

At the very very end, you see Drusilla rising from the ashes of the burnt-down church and carrying Spike out. She's in vamp-face, which I am not sure if she ever has touted before, since she's been so weak and stuff.

Commentary (by Marti Noxon) notes added 5.21.13: I went back today and made a few of my older Buffy entries more homogenized and uniform to the more recent ones and I noticed that I started this episode guide blog early 2011, had an entry two days before the tornado (after watching Bridesmaids for the first time that night, actually) then the next entry wasn't until 8 months later (!!!!). 8?! And a lot of those entries from pre-tornado didn't have tags or high resolution pictures, etc etc. So, NOW I'll be obsessed with making those entries better. And then I'll become obsessed with making all my previous entries better...oh boy. Hey, perhaps tomorrow on the two year anniversary of the damn tornado I can distract myself with large pots of coffee and lots of blog editing. There's a plan!

Marti is just talking about filming and writing...I'm just not into writing about the minutiae of writing FOR a TV show. I like to write about the themes of the show and insights into metaphor and all that stuff. So these episodes are all about how B doesn't get to choose her profession, her profession was chosen for her. My mom used to tell me to find out what I want to do with my life or it will be chosen for me, but I didn't become a Slayer. And it's not like I didn't choose either. I'm only 30. I fought to get my job at the library and I've learned a lot about life in the 9 years I've been there. I hope to make money as a writer someday when I figure out how to do that. The funny thing is that I knew I wanted to be a writer as a teenager, but I wasn't focused and didn't do anything with it. All I can do is try harder every day...keep writing. Keep being passionate.