Buffy the Vampire Slayer: This Year's Girl.

episode 71.
airdate: 22 Feb 2000.

Episode opens with Buffy and Faith making Buffy's bed in the old house talking all cryptic, obviously a dream. "With little sis' coming." Cut to Faith still in the coma, then lightning...ooh, ya scared?

They're all still hanging/hiding out in Xander's basement. RileyBFF (can't remember his name) is lecturing Riley on staying together with the "family"/military. Faith is dreaming about hanging out with the Mayor and Buffy killing the Mayor then coming after her. Turns out she's been in a nightmare loop, Buffy stabbing her over and over again. Yeesh. Finally, she closes the loop and bests Buffy, and that's when she wakes up. Riley also escapes from his hospital situation. Riley is still all existential, of course. Buffy tells Riley about how she quit the Council once upon a time. She's weird when she's all nice and counsel-y. I don't like sweet and sugar Buffy.

Faith has to deal with what's happened since she's been asleep; mainly the high school being all crispy. She spies on the gang at Giles' house. She sees Buffy all cuddly with Riley, and that pisses her off (rightfully so) because the whole reason Buffy stabbed Faith effectively putting her in the coma was to save Angel, who she's no longer, obviously, with. She also sees someone calling Buffy to tell her that Faith is awake. The next morning Faith shows up on campus for an ass-kicking.

Willow's contribution? hits her with a backpack and calls her a bitch. Spike is snarky and cute, as always. "Can't any one of you Scooby Club try to remember that I HATE you all?"

The Mayor has left a VHS tape for Faith to view along with some weird metal device. He really did care about her, though he tells her there won't be a place in the world for her anymore after she awakens, whatever that means. There's someone Buffy's not protecting...her mother. But she does theatrically jump through the second-floor window, somehow. Destruction of Joyce's house, again. Take the fight outside, girls, come ON! Faith deploys mysterious device the Mayor gave her. Mom/Joyce comes into the room after the cops show up and "Faith" is knocked out on the floor. She asks her daughter if she's ok and "Buffy" says, "Five by five."

DuNuh. DuNUh. duNUUUUUUHHHH!

Commentary (by Doug Petrie) notes added 5.15.13: Hit my ten minute limit and haven't written a thing, so onto the next episode.

LIVE THROUGH THIS: OUT EDITION.

LIVE THROUGH THIS. THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS, LGBT EDITION: I want to do a mental health-themed zine. One of the things that shouldn't be something we have to cope/deal/come to terms with, is being gay, lesbian, transgendered, asexual and bisexual, but in our still close-minded society, we unfortunately, do. I would love to have some stories/insight/thoughts from close friends/family that are out.

Any input in any form (drawings, maps, rants, poetry, ANYTHING from any perspective/place in the process) would be greatly appreciated. I will use your content for my zine, but you can be anonymous or use an alias should you feel more comfortable disclosing under invisibility cloak. Below are some questions. You can choose to answer these questions directly to use as an interview in the zine (only answer those you're comfortable answering, of course, and feel free to reword/add questions as ye see fit), or just use them as a jumping-off point for anything you want to say. 

I want to have this zine out on the Summer Solstice so your deadline to submit content is JUNE 13 and submissions can be sent via email: mixtressrae@yahoo.com

Please consider sharing your experience with others even if all you do is spend ten minutes replying to this blog with a random thought or two. 

Thank you SO much in advance,

Stephanie

QUESTIONS/THOUGHTS:

When did you know you were gay/lesbian/transgendered/bisexual/asexual?

What was the process of accepting yourself like? 

How did you overcome the hurdles our society throws at people that are "different"?

When did you "come out"?

Who did you tell first?

Was it a big revealing, did you come out slowly, or have you chosen to make it a non-issue and just not bring up your sexuality to others?

How did your family/close friends react?

What do you wish the general population would realize about the LGBT community?

What advice would you have for someone who wants to come out/recently came out?

LIVE THROUGH THIS.

LIVE THROUGH THIS. THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS: I want to do a mental health-themed zine. Talk about how people with diagnoses, depression, coping/sensory issues, Post Traumatic Stress (a LOT of us in Joplin are still dealing with this), etc deal in life. I would love to have some stories/insight/thoughts from close friends/family that I know have found/are in the process of finding ways to live in this world.

Any input in any form (drawings, maps, rants, poetry, ANYTHING from any perspective/place in the process) would be greatly appreciated. I will use your content for my zine, but you can be anonymous or use an alias should you feel more comfortable disclosing under invisibility cloak. Below are some questions (most of them center around the word "diagnosis", which I am using as a stand-in for any issues of depression, coping, PTSD, etc). You can choose to answer these questions directly for me to use as an interview in the zine (only answer those you're comfortable answering, of course, and feel free to reword/add questions as ye see fit), or just use them as a jumping-off point for anything you want to say.

I want to have this zine out on the Summer Solstice so your deadline to submit content is JUNE 13 and submissions can be sent via email: mixtressrae@yahoo.com

Please consider sharing your experience with others even if all you do is spend ten minutes replying to this blog with a random thought or two.

Thank you SO much in advance,

Stephanie

QUESTIONS/THOUGHTS:

Do you have a diagnosis (self or formal)? What is this diagnosis?

Do you find strength in your diagnosis? Do you disregard your diagnosis?

How have you come to define your diagnosis?

How have you learned to work around discomfort surrounding symptoms of your diagnosis?

How does it feel on your worst days?

How does it feel on your best days?

How have your loved ones responded to your diagnosis?

What do you wish the general public understood about you/people under similar circumstances?

What advice have you for others under similar circumstances?

albumWEEK

Originally posted in Current, Etc publication last issue (well CURRENT issue until Thursday):

ALBUMweek.

During the month of February I undertook a sort-of music boot camp. Each week, I had a particular way of enjoying music that I confined myself within for the entire 168 hours of that week's regular listening periods. I endeavor to tell you in a four part series my results for each week here in these Current, Etc pages. I do not promise these four parts will be in sequential order, or even in a row, depending on how pressing future music topics will be, but for today I'll share with you my rediscovery of THE ALBUM.

Listening to an album in order, in one sitting, is becoming a lost art. I recently realized I don’t know music I’ve discovered/downloaded in the last five years as albums. I know it as songs floating in and out of shuffles/mixes. Conversely, I don't think artists conceive of their music in album form as often as was done in the '70s-'90s.

The album has had a relatively short shelf-life in the grand scheme of music, if you consider The Beatles' Revolver (1966) as the birth of the album (and lots of rock critics do). THE ALBUM being a collection of songs with a conceptually-thematic atmosphere that lures you into an aural landscape for approximately three quarters of an hour, transfixed. Ultimately, I discovered that while the album did have a short run and many albums are very important to me, it’s really always been fragmented. We pick and choose the songs we love, the sides we pick up the needle for again and again. The attention span of a human does not normally last 45 minutes. For an album to make it into your pantheon of things to sit still for, it has to be spectacular! It is rare that an album makes it, without the need to skip, replay, multitask. ALBUMweek made me realize I hardly ever quiet my mind enough to experience music as its divine creators intended.

In undergoing this project, I wanted to recapture the feeling of letting my self dissolve into the sound of the album (I've been on shuffle for too many years). I felt like I did restore something deep within the earth of my mind. I defiantly reclaimed the ability to pay attention to music. Picture a woman wearing ridiculous plaid pants sitting cross-legged in a papasan chair clutching a vinyl sleeve whilst gazing wistfully into the middle-distance. This was me the entire first week of February and here are ten of the best albums repossessed during my love affair with THE ALBUM:

The Cure/Seventeen Seconds
Nirvana/Unplugged
Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar
Nine Inch Nails/The Downward Spiral
Brian Eno/Before and After Science
Cibo Matto/Viva! La Woman
Fiona Apple/When The Pawn...
Veruca Salt/American Thighs
Talking Heads/77
Yeah Yeah Yeahs/Fever To Tell

What are your favorite albums? Email me: mixtressrae@yahoo.com

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Goodbye Iowa.

Episode 70.
airdate: 15 Feb 2000.

Episode opens with Buffy telling everyone what's going on with the Initiative. Riley barges into Giles' house. Riley recognizes Spike as "Hostile 17". Riley thinks "there must be some explanation". It takes some convincing, and Riley eventually goes off on his own because his whole world has been compromised, poor thing. He's such a bad match for Buffy because he hasn't been through anything bad in his whole corn-fed life. This episode is pretty much the waking up/reality of Riley. Poor dear wandering listlessly through the cemetery. Or was that a dark campus? Regardless, he's brooding. The gang is all hiding out at Xander's, which is super cute, 'cause they're all watching cartoons together in their jammies and Giles is sleeping in a bean bag chair. Buffy makes a rousing speech in her "yummy sushi" pajamas, which is also super cute.

Ok, I guess Riley hasn't quit the Initiative. He's still uncertain, especially when he finds out Walsh is dead. He is still pretty loyal, however, when his BFF suggests Buffy killed Walsh. Self-righteous Buffy speech, probably her first to Riley. Willow is already getting into spells that Tara doesn't think they're ready for. Joss knew what he was doing two years ahead of time. I can't imagine that kind of narrative foresight. Perhaps one day I'll get there. I need to get back into writing my novel. That sounds so pretentious, "my novel". Riley is getting mean. Cracked out. His moral compass is all out of whack and he's very distressed. All shaky and shit, questioning everything. Feverish. Poor little soldier.

Willow and Tara are doing sexy demon-finding spells. Tara foils the spell, unbeknownst to Willow. Xander and Buffy go into the Initiative undercover, which is funny because Buffy obviously looks like Buffy. Riley wakes up after fitful fever-crack sleep and pushing Willow down to get past her. Buffy is simultaneously overhearing the Initiative bigwigs talking about how the boys were getting meds in their food, including Riley, so he's essentially going through withdrawals. Buffy confronts bigwig scientist guy as Riley shows up. He accuses Buffy of doing something to Walsh and then Adam shows up with a little existential monologue. He's part robot, man, and machine. Cool. Riley has been programmed by Walsh, apparently. Though at this point we don't know what that means, whether it's metaphor or something more tangible. Adam beats everyone up and leaves. Initiative dudes come in and take Riley away to a "military hospital" and Buffy isn't allowed to follow. Spike is getting beat up at the demon bar because the demons know he's been fighting them lately. Poor Spikey doesn't live in either world.

And I suppose Spike's journey is a parallel to Riley's? I never thought about that. This whole season is everyone being out of place, transitioning, reestablishing their belief systems and where they fit in adult life. Adam is even questioning where he fits as he's man, machine, and demon. Who will accept him? Who is he? The Existential Big Bad. Clever.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The I In Team.

episode 69.
airdate: 8 Feb 2000

Anya's the cutest. "I choose to feel threatened." Love the tactless babes Xander dates. I would like to be one if I lived in the Buffyverse, which of course is what I think we can all agree heaven will be like. I choose to believe in heaven only within the context of heaven as Sunnydale, California. Is that so wrong?

Oh, geez, Buffy is going into the Initiative underground...ooooooooh. Who's ready for season 5? I don't hate 4 as much as some people do, but the awkwardness of life transitions and Buffy trying to go to college and all that kerfuffle is just tiresome, as Giles would say. Willow is hiding Tara all for herself. Adam is revealed for the first time: "almost ready to wake up". It's breaking my heart to see Willow feel left-out. and Giles. and Xander. I GET IT! The Initiative and college are metaphors for adult relationships taking you away from your friends, maybe?

I love how unruly Buffy is with the Initiative dudes. This is Willow's best fashion time. All colorful and sweatery. Cute. Ness. Oh no, they've installed a tracking device on Hostile 17 aka Spike. Why didn't they do that when they first captured him? Time for Riley and Buffy to do it to the smooth sounds of Delerium after a good rousing fight. Ew, she put his big meaty finger in her mouth. Gross. And Professor Walsh is watching them...Double Gross!

Spike goes to Giles for help after being shot with the tracker device. I do enjoy watching Spike being integrated into the group slowly, fitfully, and reluctantly. Giles agrees to remove the device after monetary compensation.

Riley is called away from the coital bed for a secret mission. Professor Walsh mentions a "contingency scenario" to a cohort whilst in conversation about Buffy, then she is beeped and sent off on a solo mission for Walsh to find a "Class 3 subterrestrial". She quickly realizes its a trap. Her weapon given her by Walsh triggers a cell door and she's attacked by three beasties Buffy earlier saw in the Initiative Underground. Buffy has also been outfitted with visual and audio that feeds back to Walsh along with her vital information. As Buffy's heartrate flatlines, Walsh is watching, of course. She looks a little remorseful and guilty, but this is the definitive moment that you KNOW FOR A FACT that Walsh is a Big Bad. Cut to Giles removing the tracer at last, then back to Buffy who is not dead. Duh. Walsh tells Riley Buffy is dead. As she's telling him, she shows up on the screen behind her head "if you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is..." Du nu du nu du nuh! Riley storms off, effectively quitting the Initiative. Buffy tells the gang "it's not safe for any of us". Such a drama queen.

Episode ends with Adam waking up and killing Walsh: "Mommy?"

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: A New Man.

episode 68.
airdate: 25 January 2000.

Ew, Riley and Buffy are making out. It's Buffy's birthday episode and Giles wakes up a demon after hanging out with the no-good Ethan Rayne. Duh, Giles, what were you thinking?

The theme here is that Giles feels out of place in this new world and doesn't have a job currently. Everyone keeps bringing him cake. Ooooh, Buffy says Professor Walsh is the "smartest person" she's ever met. Spike is a "new man" too as he's moving out of Xander's basement into his own crypt.

I knew the moment Professor Walsh was mean to Giles that she was no good. I can completely understand why Giles was driven to drinking with Rayne after the day he had. They used to be friends.

Riley is, surprise surprise, having a hard time accepting that Buffy is stronger than him and has fought a lot more nasties than he has.

I love Tara's room: black walls, red carpet, white Christmas lights, and lots of texture. You just KNOW she burns incense all the time. Willow and Tara doin' sexy spells version 2.0...

Giles doesn't even wake up as the demon until 21 minutes into the episode. Poor thing crushes the phone when he picks it up and rips his jacket and the door off the hinges. Riley tries to "pull rank" on Buffy and say she can't come along when the military get involved in helping find Giles. Of course she doesn't take that crap. He's going to learn real quick how things are with bossy Buffy.

When they find Giles as Fyarl demon, of course Buffy thinks the demon was the one that hurt/kidnapped Giles, so she fights him. But eventually she sees in his eyes that it's Giles. So sweet. Then the episode ends with a rebonding conversation between Buffy and Giles while Riley is having a simultaneous conversation with Walsh about basically the same thing (both Giles and Walsh are warning their progenies about the other.

Then, BUM BUM BUMMMM! Room 314. Walsh goes in. What's in there?!?!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Doomed.

Episode 67.

airdate: 18 January 2000.

Buffy and Riley explain their situations to one another. Riley has a hard time believing that a tiny girl is a slayer of things, because he's kind of a misogynist. He tries to be all covert and tell Buffy he can't tell her what he is, but then she totally calls him on everything ("You're part of some demon monster squad..."). Riley hasn't even heard of a Slayer. Probably not a mistake that the episode that Riley and Buffy come out to each other and sort of officially start their relationship is called "Doomed" eh, Joss? Oooh, I am sooo observant. 

I love when Xander says to Spike, "You earn your keep or you don't get kept!" I want to say that to someone sometime, like for example, Pele (she's my cat). She'd just glare at me, but it'd still be fun.

One of my only regrets in life is that I didn't have the dorm/college experience. Perhaps I would have overcome some of my more problematic social dysfunctions had I been forced to live and go to school in close proximity to other human beings my own age. Boo hoo though, it didn't happen.

Apocalypse, as per usual.

Buffy is trying so hard to walk away from a complicated relationship because she hasn't yet realized that every relationship will be complicated, especially if you're a freakin' vampire slayer! Come on, Buffy! Your insistence on achieving normalcy is just unrealistic. Poor Spikey tried to kill himself. 

Riley actually has a point about Buffy having the wrong "doom and gloom" attitude, but I suppose it makes sense given what she's gone through. Ooh, he just called her self-involved! Snap! He's very perceptive. Giles just got beat up. The demons are going to open the Hellmouth so they have to go back to high school. Oh yeah, I suppose the theme here is living in the past stuff. Buffy can't get past old relationship stuff to move onto Riley, Willow was called a geek by Percy, Spike can't get past being a neutered vampire, and Xander, well Spike pointed out that he's living in his mother's basement, but he didn't seem to be overly worried about that before Spike suggested it. So Riley is the voice of reason here, apparently. Don't have a "doom and gloom" attitude and move on from your past.

Spike realizes in this episode that he can beat up demons, so he regains the will to live with violence back in his life. Yeay, Spikey.

Riley and Buffy save the day. He's out to the whole gang now. In case you were wondering what happens with Riley and Buffy, they kiss and they're going to start a relationship and shit. Spike makes a cute speech to Xander and Willow about fighting demons and killing things and "evil afoot" and stuff. It's the new era of Spike. Super exciting stuff.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Hush.

An episode walk-thru (with spoilers and snarky commentary) of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Episode 66, Season 4: "Hush"
airdate: 14 December 1999.

It's been so long since I've done one of these. Of course, this is a legendary episode, so that means I've been avoiding it. Always thinking I really have nothing to say...which is ironic because this is the episode wherein no one CAN say anything. I'm sitting very close to the TV in my bedroom and you can really tell this show was shot before the times of high-def over-intensity. Plus, this show was filmed so dark. Typical Whedon stuff; at the beginning of the episode everyone is at a loss for words, not communicating well, etc.

I think this is the introduction to Tara. She's so cute. Blond zig-zaggy part and sweet smile.

Yeah, Giles is getting some! I like that Joss started showing Giles' full life after everyone got out of high school and didn't shy away from the more adult aspects of it. The appearance of his "orgasm friend" always made me happy to know that Giles maybe had a "Like Crazy" love from overseas that he sacrificed in order to help Buffy in America and fight the good fight and all that.

The moment where Willow and Buffy realize they can't speak when the music comes in still gives me chills. And it's remarkable how believable it is that they're really trying to speak and can't. I wonder if they filmed it with them actually speaking and then removed the sound in editing. And you can tell everything they're trying to say too. So cool. And then Xander calls Buffy before, duh, he remembers he can't talk, which is the whole reason he was calling her. That would totally happen. Before the era of the text. Hard to believe that this episode aired over 13 years ago. Ok, I just cried. WTF. I cried when Giles put his arm around Willow after she wrote "Hi Giles" on her little message board. What is that about?

Riley and Buffy's first kiss. Whatever. The Gentlemen really are super silent movie glide-y creepy. Love it! Is that Eric from "That '70s Show"? No. Buffy's just walking around campus with a freakin' crossbow. Buffy and Riley are fighting alongside one another. So many questions. Again, whatever. Much more interested in Tara and Willow. Or Xander and Anya. Or Giles and Olivia. Poor Spikey is the only one all alone in this episode. "Hush" doesn't seem quite as innovative today, but back in 1999 television was still on the cusp of becoming great, but was actually still pretty formulaic. I'm sure this, along with several other groundbreaking Buffy episodes, was pretty influential for a lot of the great TV shows of the present...

Commentary (by Joss Whedon) notes added 5.15.13: Joss wrote this episode because he felt like he was getting stale as a director. He's telling the tale that with this episode, and with "Restless" and witch "Once More, With Feeling"...each time he felt like he couldn't do it and no one would get it and everyone would be bored and it was impossible, etc. And this and those other two episodes mentioned are among my top five...indeed they are THE first three I'll (and most other fans) will mention when asked my favorite Buffy episodes, not that anyone ever asks (I wish!). That is encouraging to me to know that he felt it was impossible, but he did it and it was awesome.

The theme here is that once you stop talking, you start communicating. Sometimes language gets in the way when you're trying to convey things to other humans. Xander can't tell Anya how he feels about her as she wishes. Buffy can't kiss Riley because they're nervously talking too much. Giles just wishes everyone will shut up. The Wicca group misusing the word "empowering".  The image of the Gentlemen floating towards the boy in the bed came from a dream of Joss'.

Sometimes when you shut up, you learn more about yourself and others than you expected to.

Movie Analysis Final Thoughts.

Here's the top five with their final scores:

1. High Fidelity: 46

2. Empire Records: 40.875

3. The Matrix: 40.33

4. Best In Show: 39

5. The Breakfast Club: 37.43

I would NOT have thought I liked "The Matrix" as much as I, evidently, do. Now that I'm thinking on new movies I have loved, I'd like to rate "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and "Like Crazy" as well, but I'll save that for another time and update this list as needed. I'm also surprised "Clueless" didn't make the top five. I might need to make sure that one got top points for replayability. I may have scored it incorrectly. Of course, all of these are subject to how I was feeling as I watched them. And my memories of watching them in the past. I need some more time with drag movies as well, as I'm sure one of them needs to be on this list as well. I should have rated "The Birdcage", but there are some serious flaws in that film, although I love it tremendously anyway. It would have rated low, but I still will watch it anytime, anywhere.

Ok, well that's that. I started this project many months ago. Check out the remaining 8 movies below and how they rate. I also watched "Carrie" and "The Crow", but disqualified them both. I don't even think I have a blog entry on "The Crow". I'm too lazy and tipsy to check right now, so I'm done.

6. Napoleon Dynamite: 36

7. Clueless: 35.67

8. Moulin Rouge: 35.6

9. The Big Lebowski: 34

10. Bridesmaids: 33

11. Young Adult: 33

12. Mallrats: 31.14

13. Real Genius: 29.2

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